What's Bothering You?

The good news is that I just learned that my accommodations for school allow me to use headphones in class, so at least 1st period should be more tolerable.

The bad news is that my parents don't want me to bring them to school. Noises distract and overwhelm me, yet I'm expected to get "used to it" because not everyone is like that. Ugh. Alternatives are out of the question; ear plugs feel uncomfortable, and people are gonna look at me weird if I wear ear defenders.
 
I can’t stop crying because my best friend replied to my happy birthday. he might be busy or at work when he replied but it still hurt all he said was hey and ty :). No how are you? i hope you’re okay (he’s not that type to say that ofc). i haven’t eaten or taken my medicine yet. I’m so sad.

I have a few things that made me happy but I still can’t help being sad right now. I miss my best friend and I want him back and the way things were. 💔

Also still embarrassed for making a dumb joke earlier with some friends. I need to stop trying to joke when I know it is not going to be funny and fall flat.
 
I'm glad I finally got my antibiotics but my step-mom had to make everything difficult every step of the way. I'm sorry I got sick and you're legally obligated to take care of my health. She was arguing with my dad the whole time and was taking her anger out on me. I'm pissed off, tired, and drained. I feel like a nuisance for needing help.

Please don't reply, I just really needed to vent.
 
I finally found an event I wanted to participate in. (the lego building game).

But like usual my chromebook can't download the software ;.; these things are rarely supported and it's so sad.

It's good for schoolwork and browsing the internet but not much else.


Screenshot 2024-08-14 7.09.59 AM.png
 
i'm a bit frustrated with my job. i have only been working here for a few months (right after finishing my masters degree) and i feel so bored and professionally stunted. i like my coworkers and i can do my job well, but i feel like i'm using approximately 3% of my brain all day. i'm thankful to have full-time employment with health insurance and whatnot, but man... i'm starting to think i need to look for another job already (which i feel bad about), or even look into some phd programs, because there's no way i can keep this up for years.
 
I've been even more tired since I have to wake up early in the morning to take my antibiotics. (Because my parents rushed me to take them even though I wanted to wait and read the instructions. It's on a 12-hour basis. 🫠) I can't take a nap in peace without my brother barging in and telling me, "You're not supposed to be sleeping now". My dad scolded him and told him to let me get my rest.

I'm honestly kinda disappointed in how low my fair participation is and I'm starting to worry that I won't rack up a good amount of tickets. Not to mention that I have another appointment on the 17th, this time with a family doctor. Also had some complications with the clinic that's making me annoyed, so I'll have to come back tomorrow. The receptionist said something in French that I didn't fully understand and I pretended I knew what she said. Meh...
 
I'm probably taking an unhealthy amount of antacids. (problem is I can't sleep at all without like 3 or 4 of them). That's like 80mg because I'm already on max strength. When I brought this up with a doctor she said the reflux was likely caused by anxiety or stress. It's inherited in my family, but at my age it happened early. I'm at #4 tonight and realize this is definitely an issue.

If I don't take them I can't sleep at all and get way more anxious.

I'll try a dietary change and see if it helps at all. I feel like it's only a matter of time before I make myself seriously sick from my use of this. (If I haven't already caused something anyways). I'd like to taper off or just reduce how many of these I'm consuming.
 
I know I’m just going to get upset again but i left another message for my friend. We’re still supposedly friends but it sure doesn’t feel like it. I want to be okay again and I want my friend to talk to me again :/. My mood was fine earlier but throughout the day I felt it going down. I wish I could move on but still be friends and him talk to me like before. I think meeting someone would help but Idk how or how i can open up to someone again :/ I really wish I was a different person and someone he could care about more.
 
Waited all day for something very important to me to arrive in the mail. It’s now been delayed 😭

Why is it so hard to send things to my country from the US ???? The first time I tried to buy this the company I used went bust and I lost all my money.

Now I try another company who are over a week late to send it to me and I just get an email now saying it’s been delayed 😭😭😭😭
 
I'm being forced to move to another home with my parents. We've fallen behind on our mortgage 5 times and now the lender is trying to Foreclose on our home. We are trying to get a new place to move in but they all cost so much money. I live in Georgia and most homes cost over $300,000 through $400,000 that isn't even enough to even sell our home because our retailer got an offer for only $300,000 and he told us that the only way to increase the value is by paying close to $50,000 just to fix up our home and clean it which we don't have the money for. I never thought my life would be this difficult. I have sick parents to take care of and now I need to move them to a new place. These past couple of years have been super stressful for me.
 
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