lowkey scared that i’ll be roasted during critque tomorrow. the assignment was to create something abstract out of the presented still life but what if i made it TOO abstract compared to other people? it’s a tad bit embarrassing to stand up in front all these other students who might be confused by it and they seem like they have more experience than me. i’m praying i get a good grade because i already have a C in that class and painting isn’t my expertise.
What's Bothering You?
- Thread starter Oblivia
- Start date
Suguri
The Masked Outcast
The Halloween event is tomorrow, but I don't see anything to be happy about. Something happened to my love at that time last year and I won't stop thinking about them. 
If you can send them your condolences by then, I would appreciate it. A lot.
And that's not all. School's been weighing down on me, so even if I still want to participate, I won't have time anyway because of my assignments.
This really stinks...
If you can send them your condolences by then, I would appreciate it. A lot.And that's not all. School's been weighing down on me, so even if I still want to participate, I won't have time anyway because of my assignments.
This really stinks...
ZeldaCrossing64
Sugary Cynic
I'm so damn nervous about doing job applications. I think I would've had slightly less stress if I was able to speak in English, and I'm worried that I won't get accepted because I was either too nervous or my French wasn't competent enough. 
It's making me procrastinate on leaving the house, which doesn't help.
It's making me procrastinate on leaving the house, which doesn't help.
This has gotten to me too.Waking up and finding out Liam Payne, who was from One Direction had passed yesterday was not something I'd thought I'd hear.
R.I.P Liam,
His poor family
I was never a 1D fan. I watched the TV show he arose to fame on, but I was already outside the demographic his band was marketed at when it aired. But it is still shocking news. I heard he'd passed from my mum over lunch today and her first comment was, "He's younger than you." It is devastating for someone that young to die so suddenly like that.
I found out that someone I went to school with for 7 years was murdered due to domestic violence.
Seriously struggling to process it right now.
I wasn't her best friend or anything. But we had many classes together over the years. (7 years of school together). I can't believe she's gone.
Seriously struggling to process it right now.
I wasn't her best friend or anything. But we had many classes together over the years. (7 years of school together). I can't believe she's gone.
Mimi Cheems
bling bang bang bling bang bang born
Still upset over Liam 
I know I shouldn't be so upset. But 1D was and still is such a huge part of me.. :^(
I've cried like 10 times in the past 24 hours lol I'm a hot mess
I know I shouldn't be so upset. But 1D was and still is such a huge part of me.. :^(I've cried like 10 times in the past 24 hours lol I'm a hot mess
Dunquixote
Hee-ho!
I think my switch lite died. Not sure what to do. I only play my second island on it so not worth getting a second switch (just bought my new switch in May).
Some other stuff is bothering me. I don’t know what to do about this either. I’m afraid to talk to anyone about it since it might just make things worse and me more stressed and upset than I am.
Please no dms or discord messages or comments.
Some other stuff is bothering me. I don’t know what to do about this either. I’m afraid to talk to anyone about it since it might just make things worse and me more stressed and upset than I am.
Please no dms or discord messages or comments.
Last edited:
I feel like my dad worries too much about death. Don't get me wrong, I know the death of a family member or other loved one is very hard and oftentimes untimely and unexpected, but this is just something that makes me feel very weirded out.
Look, I get it. He lost his dad (neither of my grandfathers are biological) when he was only 10 and his brother (and thus, my uncle) a couple years ago, which my uncle had health issues in the past. So, of course, he's learned that it can happen suddenly and, as aforementioned, unexpectedly.
And I know he means well for the most part. He wants me to keep my guard up and whatnot - I completely get that.
Even I am worried for my maternal grandparents, since my grandmother has been battling breast cancer and my grandfather has not been in good health either himself. He apparently has Alzheimer's or dementia too. I have so many good memories of going to visit them in Houston and Columbus, Texas and I want to have more (at least of going to their main house in Houston - I do not know if they still go to their ranch house in Columbus). My dad said a few months ago that he doesn't know when our last time visiting them will be. I know he meant well in this situation, but it did hurt to hear. ;-;
But the issue I have is that he, at times, tends to use death against me, for lack of better words.
Like, he and I could be talking about something simple, and it could turn into a lecture and he could somehow link it to death even when the topic isn't supposed to have anything to do with death.
Earlier today, for example, I brought up the fact that tomorrow is Friday, to which my brother usually orders Door Dash on Fridays. My dad gripes at me about how I worry too much about it, and he uses examples of reasons why we may not do it on certain Fridays. He uses natural disasters as an example (like chill bro, we live out west where it is dry for the most part) and he brings up that my paternal grandparents could get into a car accident and be hospitalized (thus, us having to rush there) and possibly die, like what the ever living hell is he even on about?
I get he is a stressed out person, but like I said, it's that he tends to use these things (natural disasters and death, especially the latter) against me, that it becomes a bit of an issue.
Now, I do not necessarily support my paternal grandparents' decision to take a couple-hour trip every ****ing month just so my grandmother can get a haircut. This **** is one reason, and I have talked about the other one on here a few times already. My dad supports it anyway, despite worrying about them to such an extent, because he gets to have there annoying-ass dog over here when they are out of town. I do not understand why my grandmother cannot just get haircuts locally, but I digress.
Then there was that time back on April 30th that I discussed on here back on that day. However, I think I failed to mention that my dad claimed I was unappreciative and that I will not appreciate things until he (and I think he was possibly referring to my paternal grandmother as well) is gone (as an dead), which is not only untrue, but also very heartless.
As a refresher, my dad had told me that my paternal (for clarification, my maternal grandparents are in Houston, while my paternal ones are in the same town as me, my dad, and my brother) grandparents' dog was coming over for three weeks (which him coming over turned into a monthly thing). Knowing how I am uncomfortable around dogs, I show MILD frustration about the situation, and he gets pissed off and turns it into a whole lecturing mess about a bunch of **** that has happened in the past, including him partially blaming me for my mom walking out on us back in 2019 - not saying it was his fault either, but blaming your children for that, even partially, is ****ed up. And as previously mentioned, he claimed that I will not appreciate him until he dies, which is untrue. Not to sound selfish, but I should not have to death with bull****, just to prove myself to him.
Again, I understand my dad just want me to be aware and keep in mind that death can happen at any time, it just incidents like today's and back on April 30th -- THAT'S when I have a bit of a problem. I even understand the situation a couples months ago when we were talking about my maternal grandparents. It's one thing to remind your child that death is inevitable and can happen prematurely, it is quite another to use it against them and as a way to invalidate them.
Look, I get it. He lost his dad (neither of my grandfathers are biological) when he was only 10 and his brother (and thus, my uncle) a couple years ago, which my uncle had health issues in the past. So, of course, he's learned that it can happen suddenly and, as aforementioned, unexpectedly.
And I know he means well for the most part. He wants me to keep my guard up and whatnot - I completely get that.
Even I am worried for my maternal grandparents, since my grandmother has been battling breast cancer and my grandfather has not been in good health either himself. He apparently has Alzheimer's or dementia too. I have so many good memories of going to visit them in Houston and Columbus, Texas and I want to have more (at least of going to their main house in Houston - I do not know if they still go to their ranch house in Columbus). My dad said a few months ago that he doesn't know when our last time visiting them will be. I know he meant well in this situation, but it did hurt to hear. ;-;
But the issue I have is that he, at times, tends to use death against me, for lack of better words.
Like, he and I could be talking about something simple, and it could turn into a lecture and he could somehow link it to death even when the topic isn't supposed to have anything to do with death.
Earlier today, for example, I brought up the fact that tomorrow is Friday, to which my brother usually orders Door Dash on Fridays. My dad gripes at me about how I worry too much about it, and he uses examples of reasons why we may not do it on certain Fridays. He uses natural disasters as an example (like chill bro, we live out west where it is dry for the most part) and he brings up that my paternal grandparents could get into a car accident and be hospitalized (thus, us having to rush there) and possibly die, like what the ever living hell is he even on about?
I get he is a stressed out person, but like I said, it's that he tends to use these things (natural disasters and death, especially the latter) against me, that it becomes a bit of an issue.
Now, I do not necessarily support my paternal grandparents' decision to take a couple-hour trip every ****ing month just so my grandmother can get a haircut. This **** is one reason, and I have talked about the other one on here a few times already. My dad supports it anyway, despite worrying about them to such an extent, because he gets to have there annoying-ass dog over here when they are out of town. I do not understand why my grandmother cannot just get haircuts locally, but I digress.
Then there was that time back on April 30th that I discussed on here back on that day. However, I think I failed to mention that my dad claimed I was unappreciative and that I will not appreciate things until he (and I think he was possibly referring to my paternal grandmother as well) is gone (as an dead), which is not only untrue, but also very heartless.
As a refresher, my dad had told me that my paternal (for clarification, my maternal grandparents are in Houston, while my paternal ones are in the same town as me, my dad, and my brother) grandparents' dog was coming over for three weeks (which him coming over turned into a monthly thing). Knowing how I am uncomfortable around dogs, I show MILD frustration about the situation, and he gets pissed off and turns it into a whole lecturing mess about a bunch of **** that has happened in the past, including him partially blaming me for my mom walking out on us back in 2019 - not saying it was his fault either, but blaming your children for that, even partially, is ****ed up. And as previously mentioned, he claimed that I will not appreciate him until he dies, which is untrue. Not to sound selfish, but I should not have to death with bull****, just to prove myself to him.
Again, I understand my dad just want me to be aware and keep in mind that death can happen at any time, it just incidents like today's and back on April 30th -- THAT'S when I have a bit of a problem. I even understand the situation a couples months ago when we were talking about my maternal grandparents. It's one thing to remind your child that death is inevitable and can happen prematurely, it is quite another to use it against them and as a way to invalidate them.
Yeeeeah sorry for my rambling/tangents there, but I had to get all of this **** off my chest. >_<
My parents are so damn stubborn, it feels like talking to a brick wall with both of them. Why should I go out of my way to help them if they can't even help themselves and listen me or to THEIR DOCTORS?
When tf are they going to learn? -___-
When tf are they going to learn? -___-
chocovelvetcake
I'm on hiatus rn, sorry :(
*deleted*
Last edited:
I feel ignored by my friends, don't know if it's on purpose or not, but I'm struggling really badly and need to hang out with people to break out the isolation and no one's replying to me.
Technically they could be busy but since last evening all my messages have been ignored.
Technically they could be busy but since last evening all my messages have been ignored.
Reginald Fairfield
Senior Member
I've been told not to use a word. Is the term chemically dependent suitable?
my mom once again reminding me that I don't matter, my problems don't matter, and that I'm truly alone in this world. I have panic attacks every single night, but who cares! I'm too anxious and paranoid to leave my house, and I have awful intrusive thoughts and fears every time I do, but who cares! my brain fog and fatigue has quite literally disabled me, but who cares! the people who are supposed to care about me just don't. nobody gives a **** about me unless I'm happy or doing something for them or acting as their personal therapist. my parents have no problem dumping their **** on me. they say things that they know upset me and then THEY get upset at ME when I get upset. because god forbid I get upset over the things they know upset me and trigger me. god forbid I have a negative reaction to the upsetting, distressing, disturbing things they say and do.
I will never matter. what I say will never matter. I don't understand why I was brought into this world. so they could make me feel as awful as their parents made them feel?? I've literally been crying and shaking for hours, but ofc my mom is feeling better now that she's ruined my day. I'm so thirsty, but leaving my room to get a drink means having to see her, and I don't want to see her. I don't want to be in the same apartment as her, but I'm stuck here.
I'm so tired. I'm so angry. I feel like I'm failing everyone around me, and I shouldn't even care because lord knows that they're failing me and they don't care, but I do. I have friends who have been waiting for me to reply to their messages for months, and I just can't because of this **** ass brain fog. I look at the messages and the length of them and my mind just goes blank. it isn't even that there isn't anything that I want to say, because there is, but none of it is coming to me. there isn't a single thought in my mind. I don't know how to word anything, and everything I write feels and looks wrong.
and I honestly don't even really want to talk to anyone. I can't do small talk. I can't do long conversations. I honestly just want to disappear. I'm so tired, and every day everything just gets worse and worse.
I will never matter. what I say will never matter. I don't understand why I was brought into this world. so they could make me feel as awful as their parents made them feel?? I've literally been crying and shaking for hours, but ofc my mom is feeling better now that she's ruined my day. I'm so thirsty, but leaving my room to get a drink means having to see her, and I don't want to see her. I don't want to be in the same apartment as her, but I'm stuck here.
I'm so tired. I'm so angry. I feel like I'm failing everyone around me, and I shouldn't even care because lord knows that they're failing me and they don't care, but I do. I have friends who have been waiting for me to reply to their messages for months, and I just can't because of this **** ass brain fog. I look at the messages and the length of them and my mind just goes blank. it isn't even that there isn't anything that I want to say, because there is, but none of it is coming to me. there isn't a single thought in my mind. I don't know how to word anything, and everything I write feels and looks wrong.
and I honestly don't even really want to talk to anyone. I can't do small talk. I can't do long conversations. I honestly just want to disappear. I'm so tired, and every day everything just gets worse and worse.
Alolan_Apples
Let the apples roll!
It’s not super cold outside, but I’m feeling cold right now. Cold on the inside, like I’ve lost my body heat.
