What's Bothering You?

my mood's taken a swift u-turn recently and I just feel sad and emotional bleh I should be so happy I'm taking a stay-cation to the coast on Saturday and I'm so excited about driving down the motorways at 3am and watching the sunrise. Like it's a new experience as it's the first time I've done it since I got my car and I just have this stupid grey cloud hanging over me making me feel glum
 
I feel like my coworker is still mad at me... I apologized and it was just one order, but the tone in her messages doesn't seem the same. I don't think it's really fair to me because they switched accounts on me out of the blue and I had no training on it and that order came in 8 minutes before I left which I don't know how urgent those are. I feel bad about it, but all I can really do is work on being better next time. She's my favorite coworker too so it hurts the most if she sees me as a slacker.
 
I’ve been taking medication for the past few weeks that is supposed to make me less angry and have less OCD, but I feel like the same garbage as always.
 
What are you working on?
At that time, I had two articles to complete. Now I have two more to write. For one, I have to source a meeting that's an hour and thirty minutes long (no transcript to refer to either) and it's very dry content to listen to imo. The other is a half hour-long interview, which I can transcribe. I've had pretty bad sinus pressure and migraines as of late, so eye strain from staring at a screen to add to my existing stress is not ideal.
 
idk wtf my mother is thinking

still haven't gone to Vegas because there's no wifi and I'm doing online classes
she's all "this is a good experience you will be very happy here"
like what the **** no, I'm not, I'm not there yet and I'm already not happy

being forced into this and contemplating your life every night isn't fun
I also don't know wtf to do with my life so I'm just there
my moods being topsy turvy, I can go from happy to sad and hating my life in minutes
I also don't want to vent to friends here because I think they've had enough of my ****
 
I have to tune my guitar a full step down because my hand isn’t big enough and I still pinched a nerve. My thumb is going to feel like it’s asleep for days that’s not good.
 
boyfriend pushed me to accepting a tutee i was hesitant about bc i have an exam 2 hours before the tutor session & i still need to study LOL
tbf the topic is just 5th grade biology and it's just an hour long but it's the prepping for actually teaching it that makes me nervous... hopefully 2 hours is enough to get a good feel of how im executing the teaching hfjskdjsk
i also needed the cash so i just have to take it in (and the exam tomorrow isn't really graded but im panicking bc i have a moral obligation to at least not look dumb yknow)
 
Ear infection... my head hurts but I just want to draw for the fair events!
 
Meh, got denied that contract lengthen thing, which really sucks. Both my superior and department boss tried hard I suppose but it still kinda sucks when like top layer bosses basically **** your face when we only asked 1 month due to reasons :(
 
I’ve been stressed more than usual. Why do I get penalized when it’s not even my fault? Great way to start off my college gpa.
 
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