What's Bothering You?

Someone pointed out that I sound sicker (I've been sick for like 3 days now) and I realized they are right. I'm more congested, I'm constantly swallowing snot (sorry) and because of this I'm coughing now. At work. Where I deal with food. All the time. Send help. I've resorted to breathing throu my mouth at home cause breathing like a normal person is hard rn.

Also just usually work stuff, like how there was alot of crap left to do today and only one person to do all that ctap on top of the usual closing crap. Me, it's me I'm that one person. I left at like 11:52 and the department isn't as clean as I usually make it. Plus I still had to price out 30+ pecan pies but god dammit I refuse to stay till well after midnight. I have stuff to do and places to be (in my bed).

Sorry to hear you?re sick, friendo. I hope you feel better soon! :D
 
I keep having nightmares of having to either interact with or avoid my ex. This has been happening for well over a year now, and I can't make it stop. I'm sick and tired of losing sleep because of being terrified of him finding me and forcing me back into that toxic and abused lifestyle--even though I know it won't ever happen, I keep having horrible dreams anyway. I hate it. :mad:
Not only that, but I can't even go about my day without being reminded of that past turmoil at least once everyday. I can't even improve my mental health because something will remind me and force me to go through the motions and waves of fury all over again. I've been trying so hard to let it leave my head, but to no avail, because my anger is still bottled up and pouring out, to such a degree that I'm furious I let it get that bad (even knowing that the situation had never been my fault, I still always feel like I should've known, should've detected the problem sooner and booked it before it got worse). I'm just so tired of it... It's hard to think it'll get better before it gets worse, but the dreams have lessened in their intensity over the time, at least. I long for the day I stop having them almost every night. I really need some peace in my life.
 
Found this cute game called Penguin Isle where u download apps but hell it drains so much battery and phone gets hot too fast.. meh.
 
I kinda want an orange balloon but I'll never have enough to pay for one :(

Also I want to go outside but it's so cold... I'm already getting cabin fever and it's nowhere near the end of March T__T
 
I have to go to work in an hour, so I have to start getting ready. I didn't leave work till damn near midnight last night, and today is worse cause the store closes an hour earlier on Sundays.

It's only the 22nd, and it's gonna get worse and worse till Christmas Eve. The store is closed Christmas Day but I have to go back to work the next day and who knows how many more days in a row after that?
 
I’ve had a crappy day today capitalized with the letter “C”. The word of the day is “crap” because that’s how my day has gone. Enough said.
 
Time to dissociate ahahahshfjsnfnsng

I’m just; bleh rn? I had a good day but when I come back to my mom’s I just get super sad and anxious ;w;​
 
I can't hunt for shiny Growlithe in Lets Go Eevee T__T

Also I'm so tired of my dad getting mad at every single thing I do. I wish he would just take a chill pill, I already feel like an idiot all the time and he just exacerbates that feeling.
 
Felt exhausted throughout the entire day and didn't feel up to doing much. I think it's because I'm almost starting my menstrual cycle again. :3
 
Well. As much as I enjoy the holidays, my stepdad never fails to find a way to ruin it. He’s being totally arrogant, rude, and inconsiderate towards my mother. She was eating dinner, had been working all day- and he had yelled at her to get off her lazy butt and do the dishes... I’m so irritated... she deserves sooo much better than what she bargained/settled for. :/​
 
i got so emotional, on such a spur of the moment. it was actually overwhelming.
i am just in shock. wow.
but i think that i'm really, really moving on to healing. i really do.
 
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