What's Bothering You?

[Jam86]

i feel so bummed out rn and i don't even know why, i just felt like crying for no reason and had to go upstairs to my room before i did because i hate people seeing me upset
my mum gets annoyed when i cry so i prefer to stay out of her way

but not knowing what's wrong is just stressing me out even more tbh

 

[-Lumi-]

Spoiler: TW: Suicide/Death Mention

God, I hate March. I hate it so much. If the weather itself wasn't reason enough to hate it the entire month also makes me think of you. Which probably isn't very fair, is it? We barely spoke the last few months you were alive because I'm a ****ty friend. I've always been a ****ty friend, but it was just magnified by losing you.

We grew apart when I transferred schools and I've just always been lousy about keeping in touch with people. But it never seemed to be a massive deal, yunno? So what if we don't talk for a few months - I can just pop in on your birthday or a holiday and say hello and then we'd catch up and maybe plan to hangout. I remember the last few months were particularly awful. There was all this bull**** about my sister moving out and all the mess that brought. I shut everybody out and just focused on going to work because that's all I could be bothered to do.

I remember checking the news to see the weather and then noticing the Missing Persons report. It sounded a lot like you. It was your name and the description fit you but there was no way it was actually you that was missing. That just didn't happen. I texted you and one of our friends to see if it was really you it was about. I spent the whole morning texting you and apologizing for not reaching out sooner, for not talking to you more, saying that I hoped you were okay.

I went to work and my mind was in a fog. I didn't mention that you were missing to my boss. I remember her joking that I needed to, "wake up" when we were getting some things ready. Then we all went back to her office and God. I remember I turned to grab my phone to check if I had a text from you and she said, "oh how terrible, they found that young girls body". It felt like the world stopped. Everything went blurry, which made sense since I was crying. I tried to ask my boss what she meant but I could barely get the words out and she looked horrified. She asked if I knew her and apologized dozens of times. I called my dad to pick me up and I just sobbed.

Your funeral was the first one I've ever been to. It was a terrible day - the drive out was rough. Our truck needed to be fixed so we borrowed a friends tiny little car and of course it was storming on the drive out. I saw all our friends. Both the ones I hadn't seen in a while and the few I'd sort of kept in touch with. It was a beautiful ceremony but I couldn't get up and say goodbye to you. I didn't want to see you, not like that. I still don't know if I regret that or not. I do regret not going to other memorials. I remember using the excuse that I had to work - I could've got the time off. But it just felt wrong. Like I shouldn't be grieving you, not really.

It still feels wrong. I feel like I shouldn't be this upset still, that I shouldn't be allowed. It's been almost four years to the day and I still can't stand March.

 

[Chris]

Spoiler: TW: Suicide/Death Mention

God, I hate March. I hate it so much. If the weather itself wasn't reason enough to hate it the entire month also makes me think of you. Which probably isn't very fair, is it? We barely spoke the last few months you were alive because I'm a ****ty friend. I've always been a ****ty friend, but it was just magnified by losing you.

We grew apart when I transferred schools and I've just always been lousy about keeping in touch with people. But it never seemed to be a massive deal, yunno? So what if we don't talk for a few months - I can just pop in on your birthday or a holiday and say hello and then we'd catch up and maybe plan to hangout. I remember the last few months were particularly awful. There was all this bull**** about my sister moving out and all the mess that brought. I shut everybody out and just focused on going to work because that's all I could be bothered to do.

I remember checking the news to see the weather and then noticing the Missing Persons report. It sounded a lot like you. It was your name and the description fit you but there was no way it was actually you that was missing. That just didn't happen. I texted you and one of our friends to see if it was really you it was about. I spent the whole morning texting you and apologizing for not reaching out sooner, for not talking to you more, saying that I hoped you were okay.

I went to work and my mind was in a fog. I didn't mention that you were missing to my boss. I remember her joking that I needed to, "wake up" when we were getting some things ready. Then we all went back to her office and God. I remember I turned to grab my phone to check if I had a text from you and she said, "oh how terrible, they found that young girls body". It felt like the world stopped. Everything went blurry, which made sense since I was crying. I tried to ask my boss what she meant but I could barely get the words out and she looked horrified. She asked if I knew her and apologized dozens of times. I called my dad to pick me up and I just sobbed.

Your funeral was the first one I've ever been to. It was a terrible day - the drive out was rough. Our truck needed to be fixed so we borrowed a friends tiny little car and of course it was storming on the drive out. I saw all our friends. Both the ones I hadn't seen in a while and the few I'd sort of kept in touch with. It was a beautiful ceremony but I couldn't get up and say goodbye to you. I didn't want to see you, not like that. I still don't know if I regret that or not. I do regret not going to other memorials. I remember using the excuse that I had to work - I could've got the time off. But it just felt wrong. Like I shouldn't be grieving you, not really.

It still feels wrong. I feel like I shouldn't be this upset still, that I shouldn't be allowed. It's been almost four years to the day and I still can't stand March.

**** I teared up reading this and I don't even know who you are talking about. I can just relate to the loss of two of my own friends from 2014 that I'm still not over.

Your feelings are valid. There is no time limit on how long someone's passing is allowed to bother you. It can be days, it can be weeks, it can be years, it can be decades. But don't feel like you did anything wrong in the moment. You did all that you were strong enough to do on the day and that is okay. Do not beat yourself up over that. Mourn your friend in your own way. If you are still thinking about them this many years on that speaks volumes about your friendship and how you felt about them - and that knowledge should outweigh any remorse for how you feel about any distance in life. You clearly were a better friend than you acknowledge yourself to be if you are still thinking about them four years after they've passed.

 

[-Lumi-]

**** I teared up reading this and I don't even know who you are talking about. I can just relate to the loss of two of my own friends from 2014 that I'm still not over.

Your feelings are valid. There is no time limit on how long someone's passing is allowed to bother you. It can be days, it can be weeks, it can be years, it can be decades. But don't feel like you did anything wrong in the moment. You did all that you were strong enough to do on the day and that is okay. Do not beat yourself up over that. Mourn your friend in your own way. If you are still thinking about them this many years on that speaks volumes about your friendship and how you felt about them - and that knowledge should outweigh any remorse for how you feel about any distance in life. You clearly were a better friend than you acknowledge yourself to be if you are still thinking about them four years after they've passed.

Oh this was really, really sweet to read. Thank you It means a lot to me that you'd take the time to write that out and everything you said means a lot. It can definitely be hard to shake the feeling that I shouldn't feel this way or that I'm not allowed to.

I am so sorry that you lost two of your friends in 2014, that's absolutely terrible. I can't imagine how hard that must've been/must be. I hope you're doing okay.

 

[Chris]

Oh this was really, really sweet to read. Thank you It means a lot to me that you'd take the time to write that out and everything you said means a lot. It can definitely be hard to shake the feeling that I shouldn't feel this way or that I'm not allowed to.

I am so sorry that you lost two of your friends in 2014, that's absolutely terrible. I can't imagine how hard that must've been/must be. I hope you're doing okay.

You are most definitely allowed to be affected by this. Always here if you need an ear.

They were my mentors, so I won't ever be over them, but I honour them through my work. I literally took over the job of one of them after she passed away so I can't ever shake her memory. But I'm okay with that. She continues to inspire me to this day.

 

[Soigne]

work is getting insufferable. i cant keep working 55+ hours a week at this place. i don’t know if i should quit and focus on reading more/writing some stuff to use in grad school apps in the future or just keep my head down and dissociate and work. i cant find any other jobs around.

i have enough savings to get by for a few months. maybe i should just leave. i don’t know

 

[Lightspring]

Nvm lol

 

[Dawnpiplup]

I can't ****ing do this, man. I need wet wipes. I tried switching to TP only, but I can't handle it. My ass is screaming for me to buy another pack.

#FirstWorldProblems

 

[Alienfish]

I can't ****ing do this, man. I need wet wipes. I tried switching to TP only, but I can't handle it. My ass is screaming for me to buy another pack.

#FirstWorldProblems

excuse me for asking but do you have really sensitive skin or stuff? i'd advise getting a body lotion especially if you shower often. wet wipes can also make... your peach dry.

also some internet activist zoomers pls log off.

 

[Dawnpiplup]

excuse me for asking but do you have really sensitive skin or stuff? i'd advise getting a body lotion especially if you shower often. wet wipes can also make... your peach dry.

also some internet activist zoomers pls log off.

Well, it's dry but not sensitive really? I've had no problems with butt wipes in the past. And yeah... I dunno, just makes me feel cleaner. ;;;;

 

[Alienfish]

Well, it's dry but not sensitive really? I've had no problems with butt wipes in the past. And yeah... I dunno, just makes me feel cleaner. ;;;;

Well, I mean get a body lotion (or some baby oil for sensitive peach skin) to use instead, I mean those wipes are as much drying chemicals as well I assume..? Or at least get baby wipes for it.

I think you need to work on that to be fair, no offence intended though.

 

[Dawnpiplup]

Well, I mean get a body lotion (or some baby oil for sensitive peach skin) to use instead, I mean those wipes are as much drying chemicals as well I assume..? Or at least get baby wipes for it.

I think you need to work on that to be fair, no offence intended though.

Yeah I get what you mean. Ty chica ❤ yeah the ones I've used had like aloe and stuff so not drying my peach out here.

 

[Alienfish]

Yeah I get what you mean. Ty chica ❤ yeah the ones I've used had like aloe and stuff so not drying my peach out here.

No problems ❤ Good good, I mean the regular ones are basically TP with soap added tbf so yeah overusing can definitely get you dry so I suggest a body lotion or baby oil to not keep it dry also

 

[Dawnpiplup]

Snip

<3 ty for looking out for my ass. Literally LMAO

 

[skarmoury]

Idk why I don’t have the energy to study for the exam tomorrow but I just don’t. zzz

Post automatically merged: Mar 2, 2021

also i know i need to exercise but also i am making cup noodles. i’ll exercise tomorrow i promise.

 

[Flare]

I talked to someone from the college and I think it went well? I still feel too depressed though. Until then I guess I should try to find a way to stop making myself be dumb. Too bad I don’t have a single clue on what I should do other than go to the library for silence and concentration, which I am kinda worried about doing because of the dumb coronavirus.

 

[Midoriya]

Deleted.

 

[JellyBeans]

i need to stop overthinking even tiny things I do that realistically are ten times more chill than I think they are

 

[xSuperMario64x]

dog woke me up at 7:20am lol :,,,,,,)

 

[Beanz]

that it’s tuesday and that the hello kitty cards won’t come out until the 26th which is almost a whole month from now.