What's Bothering You?

[Xeleron]

Spoiler: Relationship / Grief

I feel like my relationship is in shambles and I don’t know what to do. My SO got a better job opportunity in a different city, and he took it; which is something I encouraged because living there was one of his goals and he was super stressed where he was working before, but I stayed behind because I need to finish my degree. Now, I just feel like with every passing day I’m being put in the back burner more and more. We went from living in the same city and seeing each other often, to cold turkey only seeing each other once or twice each month and I haven’t adjusted well. What makes it worse is that I feel like he hardly communicates with me, now, I know communication works both ways but the thing is he knows I’m on summer break right now and I’m not busy… almost ever, but I don’t want to be bothering him in case he’s in a meeting or on a job site… and I’ve told him I would like it for him to communicate more with me which he agreed to, the thing is that he hardly does it. I get it, he wants to live his life and enjoy it, but as the person he’s dating and supposedly wants to build a future with, I just wish prioritizing me was a little higher on the list, you know.... maybe over comedy shows, just saying.

It also doesn’t help that I still hold resentment towards him because he CHOSE to go out with his friends over spending time with me when I was going through a pretty big loss in my life (which I’m still grieving from). I really needed the support from the one person who’s supposed to have my back and be there for me whenever something like that happens, but I instead got a slap in the face... or at least that’s what it felt like. (For context during this time I was visiting him because I needed to get away during a time someone close to me passed away, so we were in the same city, it’s not like I was grieving and he was in a different city ~3 hours away)

Edit: I don't really need a reply, I just needed to vent, but if you have any suggestions or if you think I'm complicating things too much feel free to let me know.... by this point I don't know what to think anymore.

 

[Hopeless Opus]

ugh me and my big mouth u never know who ur gonna offend .

 

[Neb]

This is pretty minor since my new medication has helped a lot. I don’t feel anger whenever I’m ruminating on past trauma anymore. Even comments people make to my face don’t increase my heart rate. What’s bothering me is moving.

Don’t get me wrong, I can’t wait to live in a city where I don’t have to be constantly reminded of my past. It’s just the process of moving itself that’s the issue. I have to find safe ways to move all of my electronics, books, and especially my vinyl records. Not to mention the massive amount of junk my moms crammed into their storage space. The one saving grace are the movers that will help us carry everything up nine floors.

 

[Chris]

Deadline anxiety is a thing and it hits me hard. I've spent the past couple of weeks stressing over a paper. It interferes with my appetite and sleep and has generally taken a toll. This morning I decided to merge all of the files together just to see how far I actually am from meeting the guidelines, because I was starting to fret I might run out of content before I met them. 4-9 pages. That's better than the ~20 I thought it was. Alleviates the stress a little but I still only have a week left to finish this thing.

EDIT: Managed to hit the minimum page count and probably have about 1,000-1,500 words left to go. Maybe this is doable after all!

 

[Stikki]

Spoiler: Relationship / Grief

I feel like my relationship is in shambles and I don’t know what to do. My SO got a better job opportunity in a different city, and he took it; which is something I encouraged because living there was one of his goals and he was super stressed where he was working before, but I stayed behind because I need to finish my degree. Now, I just feel like with every passing day I’m being put in the back burner more and more. We went from living in the same city and seeing each other often, to cold turkey only seeing each other once or twice each month and I haven’t adjusted well. What makes it worse is that I feel like he hardly communicates with me, now, I know communication works both ways but the thing is he knows I’m on summer break right now and I’m not busy… almost ever, but I don’t want to be bothering him in case he’s in a meeting or on a job site… and I’ve told him I would like it for him to communicate more with me which he agreed to, the thing is that he hardly does it. I get it, he wants to live his life and enjoy it, but as the person he’s dating and supposedly wants to build a future with, I just wish prioritizing me was a little higher on the list, you know.... maybe over comedy shows, just saying.

It also doesn’t help that I still hold resentment towards him because he CHOSE to go out with his friends over spending time with me when I was going through a pretty big loss in my life (which I’m still grieving from). I really needed the support from the one person who’s supposed to have my back and be there for me whenever something like that happens, but I instead got a slap in the face... or at least that’s what it felt like. (For context during this time I was visiting him because I needed to get away during a time someone close to me passed away, so we were in the same city, it’s not like I was grieving and he was in a different city ~3 hours away)

Edit: I don't really need a reply, I just needed to vent, but if you have any suggestions or if you think I'm complicating things too much feel free to let me know.... by this point I don't know what to think anymore.

All you can really do is communicate your feelings to him, ie that you want him to make first contact more because you're afraid of disturbing him during something important...and also because you want him to WANT to, right? Does he know how hurt you were when he chose to go out with his friends when you needed his support? He needs to hear it, so he can hopefully work on how he responds to things like this.

I don't want to aggressively insist you leave this guy, cos that never helps haha, but please, if this sort of thing keeps happening and you're becoming more and more miserable, then consider the possibility that this man isn't the one you're meant to spend your life with. He might be, but he needs to be willing to work on a couple of things. Communication is everything.

General advice I give anyone after way too much experience with this sort of thing: Don't ever feel you have to stay in a relationship that makes you unhappy, you will regret it later. Relationships can't be perfect every minute, but they should ultimately make you happy and embrace the future. Maybe you guys will work it out and be absolutely fine, but I hate to see people stuck in relationships that are hurting them and compromising their own happiness. The thought of you alone in the pain of grief whilst he went out with friends is a sad image and I'm sorry this happened.

 

[-Blue-]

My knees...my knees are in so much pain. It's become progressively worse over the past 3 days to the point where I can barely walk or go up stairs or bend them. They just hurt. I have an MRI on my right one Tuesday, but what am I supposed to do until then?

I hope the pain becomes more bearable and or goes away entirely until they can find out the issue. I would probably say try to keep off of your feet as much as you can until then. Easier said then done, I know. Would those leg/knee braces help any or would they make it worst?

Soaking your legs in a tub of epsom salt could probably help. It's worth a try at the very least, if you never have done it. I know a lot of people do that with their joints and the such when they are sore. You probably tried all these suggestions already, but I figured I would ask anyway.

 

[Foreverfox]

I hope the pain becomes more bearable and or goes away entirely until they can find out the issue. I would probably say try to keep off of your feet as much as you can until then. Easier said then done, I know. Would those leg/knee braces help any or would they make it worst?

Soaking your legs in a tub of epsom salt could probably help. It's worth a try at the very least, if you never have done it. I know a lot of people do that with their joints and the such when they are sore. You probably tried all these suggestions already, but I figured I would ask anyway.

Thanks for the suggestion! I haven't tried Epsom salt yet, but I will, I need something to help. I try to lay on the floor with my son as much as possible and let him play around me and stuff. I also do wear knee sleeves when it gets really bad, but I can only wear them for 2 or 3 hours max before my knees get so swollen that the sleeves become uncomfortable. I had a dislocated hip when I was born, and it made my kneecaps turn out funny, and I did gymnastics for a longgg time, so I've had a lot of impact on them. Bad knees also run in my family on my dad's side. I guess it's all finally catching up to me.

 

[tomatospooks666]

i've had this tune in my brain since yesterday, but i can't for the life of me remember where i've heard it and it's bothering the hell out of me. and it's not like it has lyrics i can google or anything.

 

[Dunquixote]

Spoiler: personal

My ear hurts a little again. Just woke up and feel like crap.

depressed and tired from stuff that has been stressing me out lately

Anxious about niece’s bday party that i have to go to sometime in august. i get to go home on same day but still not happy.

My dad is being so loud (as always since he can’t hear) and it hurts my ear.

My mom kept going in the bedroom to get some stuff when i was sleeping and it kept waking me up.

Just really annoyed with everything right now.

I shouldn’t have shared my art on this server i joined.

Used a free x10 pull in my game and got nothing still. :/

 

[DarkDesertFox]

Work in general has been good busy wise. It's been very manageable for most days. However, I've been training someone for weeks now and I'm sick of it. I can't tell you how many people I've had to train for this job. I am so burnt out and absolutely done with it. I have no more material to show her. I've run through it over and over again. She's done, she just needs more actual practice with talking on the phones but we're only in the building 2 days a week where that's possible. It is dragging on for way too long. I'm tired of sharing my computer monitor all day and straining my throat talking way more than usual. I'm going to stick up for myself if they ask me to train someone again after this. I seriously am just done with it.

 

[_Rainy_]

I’m upset over what happened to the art I’ve been working so hard on and I feel like it’s a big mess and a hassle to fix. Also Bakugo is upset with me because I cut his nails and we had to contain him by wrapping him in a burrito because he just struggles so much. Sometimes he bites and throws the nail clippers. He came all the way to my room only to sit with his back to me, so I gave him orange juice.

 

[Dunquixote]

Spoiler: Personal

I’m feeling better to a degree; I think things will hopefully be okay unless I messed up again.

A few things are bothering me.

Not looking forward to doing kitty treatment with my dad in the morning before he goes to work. my cats senses his anxiety and mine and yeah… not fun and he thinks it is going good but the treatment takes twice or more as long than it takes with my mom (he does not do it right).

still anxious about the birthday party. i know it is my niece but too much energy from kids and i hate being away from home. we’re not staying the night but i still don’t want to go :/.

Feeling out of place on this server even though people are nice to me. i am happy there just feeling a little left out i guess. I’m so impatient for the next skyward sword stream.

 

[Midoriya]

Feeling very unmotivated lately. I’ve tried everything to get a good job and nothing seems to work. I have to include that I have autism (Aspergers/ASD) on each job application I submit otherwise it’s lying. I even had to write several paragraphs on my challenges with Aspergers in case interviewers ever ask. I had to work harder than anyone else in university just to be able to graduate. Does that mean I have to work harder than anyone in the job market just to get hired? I really hope not. Idk man, life is pretty lackluster compared to what it used to be for me… any day now my dad could pass and then I’ll have no one but myself to rely on. :/

 

[Alienfish]

Feeling very unmotivated lately. I’ve tried everything to get a good job and nothing seems to work. I have to include that I have autism (Aspergers/ASD) on each job application I submit otherwise it’s lying. I even had to write several paragraphs on my challenges with Aspergers in case interviewers ever ask. I had to work harder than anyone else in university just to be able to graduate. Does that mean I have to work harder than anyone in the job market just to get hired? I really hope not. Idk man, life is pretty lackluster compared to what it used to be for me… any day now my dad could pass and then I’ll have no one but myself to rely on. :/

Forgive me for asking, but does your country, state etc. have a special program for people ASD and related conditions? If they do and you won't be able to get disability money it might be worth checking out.

 

[Chris]

Just broke one of my favourite necklaces. It was a silver cross my best friend bought me 15 years ago and it was important to me both because it represents my faith as well as being from one of my favourite people.

 

[xSuperMario64x]

Forgive me for asking, but does your country, state etc. have a special program for people ASD and related conditions? If they do and you won't be able to get disability money it might be worth checking out.

I'm in a similar situation, need to find a job but I would have to tell each employer/interviewer that I'm autistic and that alone can make it difficult to find a job that fits my needs and has accomodations. here in the US we have the Americans with Disabilities Act which states that employers with 15+ employees cannot discriminate based on disability (here neurodivergent conditions like autism and ADHD are considered disabilities) and they have to make reasonable accomodations for workers with disabilities. that being said im sure there are still employers out there who will complain about autism traits (like lack of eye contact and ability to speak or work with people) and use that as an excuse to not hire someone. I'm personally struggling to find jobs to apply to because I can't work in situations that require a lot of social interaction, are very time intensive (as in something needs to get done asap or I get scolded), and/or places that have overly high expectations of workers because I have good and bad days depending on my energy level (I'm sure he and you also deal with this). that basically eliminates most retail jobs, all fast food jobs, and most restaurant jobs, which make up a lot of what I and others can do in terms of work.

@Saitama I wonder if it might be helpful to get in contact with the city or state disability office, if for nothing else to get help in the job search. that's what they exist for anyways, to help people with disabilities navigate a society built for the comfort of neurotypical/physically-abled people.



anyways I came here to say, my new leaf player is losing his tan and I'm really sad abt that lol

 

[Alienfish]

@xSuperMario64x
With energy level sure. I more so meant if eg. there's some service specifically aimed at people with ASD or similar conditions that are educated on the topic and can help find suitable jobs and working from one's situation. I don't know how other countries work and far from everyone can get sick money from just ASD (they are very discriminating indeed here) nor have any job. Not every country is the same, that's why I asked.

I've been rather lucky with the few jobs I had and I also got help from people who work with eg. people with ASD as in my case but they also work with college dropouts and some other things. My current job was basically my former superior who liked what I did an recommended me. And I definitely know the struggles of job searching, even with people helping it's hard cause you just lowkey have to submit a lot of crap just to even get a penny.

 

[xSuperMario64x]

@xSuperMario64x
With energy level sure. I more so meant if eg. there's some service specifically aimed at people with ASD or similar conditions that are educated on the topic and can help find suitable jobs and working from one's situation. I don't know how other countries work and far from everyone can get sick money from just ASD (they are very discriminating indeed here) nor have any job. Not every country is the same, that's why I asked.

I've been rather lucky with the few jobs I had and I also got help from people who work with eg. people with ASD as in my case but they also work with college dropouts and some other things. My current job was basically my former superior who liked what I did an recommended me. And I definitely know the struggles of job searching, even with people helping it's hard cause you just lowkey have to submit a lot of crap just to even get a penny.

I'm not sure about that since I've personally only had one job and it didn't require me to get any support (the job itself accommodated my needs well enough). it seems like we are still in the early stages of people actively reaching out to help those with ASD in the work force, so we kinda just have to find ways to get by. hoping this topic becomes more relevant here as time goes on so autistic ppl can actually start getting all the support they need to function normally.

also applying for disability here is tricky cause 1. they don't pay much, if you applied you might get like $400/mo which is not nearly enough to live on your own here, and 2. if you're actually working while you're on disability they can take it away because "clearly you're capable of working a job" even if it's only part time and doesn't pay well. idk maybe there is a work-around for it, a way to work and get disability pay, but none that I'm aware of.

 

[Alienfish]

I'm not sure about that since I've personally only had one job and it didn't require me to get any support (the job itself accommodated my needs well enough). it seems like we are still in the early stages of people actively reaching out to help those with ASD in the work force, so we kinda just have to find ways to get by. hoping this topic becomes more relevant here as time goes on so autistic ppl can actually start getting all the support they need to function normally.

also applying for disability here is tricky cause 1. they don't pay much, if you applied you might get like $400/mo which is not nearly enough to live on your own here, and 2. if you're actually working while you're on disability they can take it away because "clearly you're capable of working a job" even if it's only part time and doesn't pay well. idk maybe there is a work-around for it, a way to work and get disability pay, but none that I'm aware of.

Alright, well I don't know how bad/good that service is worldwide, but yeah if there are ways to get help it might be worth looking up. And aside from some basic stuff like being extra clear with instructions and those things at the workplaces I didn't need too much either apart from actually finding stuff I could do, which those services more often have resources to at least here other than just joining a job agency and/or apply on your own just to get money for that and not getting help at all. Just saying whole world is not the US.

Yeah they are very strict here too for even getting something (mostly cause people abused the system in the 80s and 90s and they still do, those who know how-to). And the fact that you only need like a bachelor's degree to even work at job/social agency in anything, just a proof you studied for at least three years it definitely suck so you could be an architect for what they care.

But tl;dr I don't know how things work everywhere and if there are possibilities, grab them.

 

[.: Meri :.]

I have several scratches down the middle of my back. The scary part is that I don't remember either of my cats scratching me. (´ ▽｀; )