Hey Dun, your feelings are valid and I've definitely had this thought numerous times throughout Camp. It's not the best feeling, but as long as you're doing your best, that's all you can really expect from yourself at the end of the day. Any effort is appreciated.It's also really hard to fall into the cycle of burnout when you feel like you're not working hard enough and sacrifice sleep to push through work, even though your brain could really use the rest.
Trying to uphold my personal values when it comes to work is so hard sometimes. I feel like I'm trying to live to be the best version of myself, but then within the span of one week, I get the impression from two different male counterparts (one is a uni acquaintance, the other was an Internet stranger who is a member of a Discord server I'm a part of--so his opinion shouldn't matter to me but I have an ego, LOL) that I'm on my career path sub-optimally.
Situation #1 with Internet rando: I was on a tech career panel last weekend, and someone asked all the panelists how to choose between working at a small versus large company. I was the only person currently working in a small company, and the other three panelists are working at one of the FAANG companies. While responding to this question, one of them said "Only big companies solve big problems." Excuse me? My tolerance for people making generalized, blanket statements with absolutely no degree of nuance has gotten so low.
Situation #2 with a uni acquaintance, in a group chat we're both in: The impression he gave me is that he was subtly flexing that 1) he was given more responsibilities in another one of the big tech companies, despite saying himself he's being carried by his team, and 2) his job is something that he "glows about to family and friends." He mentioned before that he sometimes had to work weekends and said yesterday that he only had to do that because he wasn't fully paying attention to working during the weekdays. He also clearly doesn't understand the different nature of working in a small company and wearing multiple hats versus working in a large company of nearly 200k employees and comparatively having unlimited resources for not dropping any balls. Like great for you, I actually want to learn and better myself, not to mention have the opportunity to pave some roads within an organization. Why does someone need to share their pride in their work with others???
For a culture that claims to value individualism, I feel like there are still a decent number of hypocrites who will try to impose their version of reality onto others and it's just like... no, I don't want that. You live your life your way, and I will live mine how I want to.
i won’t tell you to not beat yourself up as i know that’s easier said than done, but i completely understand how you feel and your feelings are perfectly valid! my cabin mates did a great job at coming up with guesses and working together, but all i could do was search around the forums since i had no guesses myself lol. it’s a rough feeling, but we both did our best and i’m sure your cabin mates appreciate you a lot! and like @Croconaw said, you’ve earned 140 points to help your cabin and that’s awesome and something worth being proud of! i hope you feel better after you’ve gotten some sleep. you deserve rest.
i just found out about technoblade’s cancer myself; i don’t watch him, but i wish him a speedy recovery and will keep him in my thoughts. i’m also so sorry to hear about your rat passing away - may they rest in peace.
i hope you don’t mind me replying to this. >>
I can’t help but feel a bit like I don’t belong and negative thoughts. Doesn’t help I’m in an awkward situation but am doing my best not to let it stop me from having a good time and helping my team out. Sorry koopa about the inactive members. I would be incredibly frustrated with that.. if you want to vent more, my dms are always open .
I tend to skip the those types of things because I’m not good at them and I rarely finish everything in tbt events if I participate, but since I’m on a team; I’ve been having to push myself to get through it all so I don’t let everyone down. I try to help with the bird watching and the Homework, but I’m really just no help at all. I can definitely relate to this
Sending you lots of good vibes. It must be so hard losing a pet and finding out someone you look up to is going through such a serious health diagnosis.I hope your brother will be okay, too. You sound pretty close to him, so I think he will reach out to you if/when he needs further support.just found out that apparently my brother's gf broke up w him, idk how he's taking it but I hope he's okay. she don't deserve him anyways, such an awesome dude
I'll definitely reach out to you if it continues bothering me. Thankfully, I already felt a lot better after writing down my thoughts in the post. I wonder if this is a sign to me to start journaling. 
. hang in there. i hope you feel better soon.
The important thing is that you're aware it's your anxiety telling you that you're not good enough and there's nothing intrinsically wrong with you.
Late reply, but don't worry, it's not all your fault. You have 120 points, so you're definitely helping! It's just that I feel like it's just not enough for us to catch up. I mean, there are some really hardworking people like @Valzed, @DaCoSim, @digimon, and @Venn, but I just wish that everyone did all of the tasks and they got accepted, because it's not fair if we have inactive people but everyone else doesn't.
The members got placed into Cabins randomly. It’s just unfortunate that certain cabins did get some inactive members. There will be more events in the future to participate in. This event is coming to an end. The most important thing is to have fun. There’s no use in worrying about something you have no control over. I think you’re doing a great job!
. struggling with your shadow entry doesn’t make you dumb at all; i struggled with it a lot myself, hence why i only submitted it tonight and am unsure that it’ll even be accepted. coming up with an idea, gathering items for it and then having to try and take a decent picture is tricky, but that’s of no fault of your own. you’re a very kind, bright individual.
I know we’ve never spoken before, but I hope you don’t mind me replying. It’s okay to feel this way; your feelings are valid. Coming up with my shadow entry was a struggle, and I was also having trouble with the Cryptid creature thing or whatever it’s called. I felt that my entries in those tasks were somewhat lame, but my main goal was to help my cabin. I had the access to the game, so I thought, why not participate? Some people are good at different things. Lyrics for the Campfire song were coming to me naturally, but that’s because I used to write parodies in my free time. I know a lot of people were struggling with that activity. The main thing is that you try, and please don’t feel overwhelmed. You don’t have to participate in a task if it’s causing anxiety. Your cabin won’t be disappointed in you. There is a great group of people here that support everyone. I also came in late to the homework task and I didn’t feel much of a help finding the answers, but the event is supposed to be fun and bring people together. I joined this event to have fun and hopefully make friends with some people. Please don’t let it cause you anxiety. I think you’re doing a great job.
It was really really sweet of you and none of you had to so I really appreciate it. Last night just wasn’t the best and all the team stuff added to it I guess, but you’re all super sweet for replying I hope that you’re all having a lovely day today 
