What's Bothering You?

[VanitasFan26]

I know they always say "things will get better" but I sometimes wonder if they are just saying that because it seems nothing in this world feels any better. This is a time of uncertainty. I want to feel like everything is okay but its not really. Even ignoring it, almost seems impossible no matter how hard you try to escape it.

 

[DinosaurDumpster]

why do bullies have to exist
just leave me alone, everybody knows im short you dont gotta announce it to the whole world 24 7

 

[VanitasFan26]

why do bullies have to exist
just leave me alone, everybody knows im short you dont gotta announce it to the whole world 24 7

Its because they had a rough childhood and they were treated poorly by their parents so they feel the need to be mean to everyone just to make them feel better.

 

[DinosaurDumpster]

Its because they had a rough childhood and they were treated poorly by their parents so they feel the need to be mean to everyone just to make them feel better.

well yes, but hes also friends with my friends. i'm the only one being picked on in our group and it irks me. he annoys me on purpose and its just old at this point, like its funny or something?

 

[VanitasFan26]

well yes, but hes also friends with my friends. i'm the only one being picked on in our group and it irks me. he annoys me on purpose and its just old at this point, like its funny or something?

They only do that because they want to fit in and its something called "Peer Pressure" where they would try to act all cool which explains why they have friends. The reality is when they grow up those same friends would ditch them telling them that they are "not good enough for them" which can lead them feeling more messed up. I know from experience because I used to be friend with someone who used to be kind, but turned really mean when he hanged out with those meaner folks just because they looked cool and he wanted to join in.

 

[Alienfish]

iiiitch. remind me to stay away from radishes jfc

 

[Xara]

Hey there, Xara. Sorry that you have to deal with this. It sounds kind of like me with my dad and stepmom, only worse. Hopefully you can get to a point where you don't have to hear it anymore. I hope you're doing okay, friend.

thank you so much, riley! i’ll be alright, i just have to try and shake it off and move on aha. i’m sorry to hear that you deal with similar stuff with your dad and stepmom, though; i hope you can get to a point where you won’t have to put up with that, too, and my pms are always open if you ever need to talk or vent!

hey Xara, I'm so sorry to hear that you have to put up with all those horrific things! Thats so effed up with all that gaslighting. There's nothing wrong with you, you're perfectly normal I'm sure I hope you can find a way to cope and things get better for you!

thank you so much. you taking the time to respond really means a lot to me. :’)

i’m sorry to hear about your struggles as well. having flatmates and family members not following lockdown rules must be incredibly stressful, especially with your grandparents being at high risk. i hope things get better for you soon and that they start taking the rules more seriously.

i also hope that you’re able to get used to being back at work and that you can get your abdominal pain sorted out soon! hang in there. <3

 

[GuerreraD]

My neighbours are so. damn. loud. This is the third night?? Maybe the fourth??? That they’ve been partying and blasting music.

It’s still a pandemic
And even if it wasn’t nobody wants to hear your awful music we want to sleep!!!

I feel you—one of my neighbors throws a ton of noisy parties and likes to play the tuba, of all things, at late hours.

Can't you call the police on them? I live in a building and a couple of times when close neighbours were still being noisy past midnight, I did. I called the local police and presented a complaint for nightly disturbance (or whatever that would be called in your countries). Where I live you can't make heavy noise past 22.00h or you may face a penalty.

 

[justina]

Trying to find a used car right now is so bad omg. Not only are there too many scams, but the ones that seem legit as soon as you call the car is already sold very quickly. I really don’t want to go to a dealer and have a loan possibly but this is really difficult.

 

[Violet Witch]

My neighbours are so frickin' loud, they've got other family members over and everyone is talking so loud that I can hear their conversations word for word from inside my own house. I'm so close to going out and shouting at them over the fence to keep their voices down because I shouldn't have to put up with their unnecessary noise that I never get from my other neighbours, ever.

Post automatically merged: Sep 4, 2021

Update: I ended up yelling at my neighbours over the fence after they started playing loud music that drowned out the sound of my own TV, which quickly stopped. However they're all still talking to one another loudly from inside their own property so they clearly have no respect for their neighbours.

 

[.: Meri :.]

Can't you call the police on them? I live in a building and a couple of times when close neighbours were still being noisy past midnight, I did. I called the local police and presented a complaint for nightly disturbance (or whatever that would be called in your countries). Where I live you can't make heavy noise past 22.00h or you may face a penalty.

My neighbors are otherwise pretty alright (and as much as I hate to say it, I really don't feel good about the police around here), so in my case it wouldn't be right. If it gets to be too much, we might have to talk to them about the noise, but they're having a baby soon so I imagine they'll settle down soon enough anyway. And when the baby doesn't let them sleep at night, I'll consider that appropriate recompense for the midnight tuba-ing.

 

[Stikki]

Just found out someone that really helped me through a bad time about a decade ago has died from an overdose. Her funeral was the other day. I had no idea she was gone, but now the world seems to have lost a bit of light. I seem to be forever learning how short and delicate life is and yet not really learning at all. Blah.

 

[TheSillyPuppy]

-snip-

Making mistakes is part of the learning process. I hope you work in an environment where you feel psychologically safe and are encouraged to seek feedback when you face uncertainty.

As someone who manages a team, I would rather one of my teammates come to me with questions or their concerns and I coach them through getting to a solution (handing them a solution is my last resort because I want my team to be able to make their own decisions).

I'm also prone to having anxious thoughts, so while my ego pushes me to take action and solve problems without consulting others (my direct supervisor or skip-level manager), I have to see things from their perspective and acknowledge that they would rather I consult them before making a decision on my own that is hard/impossible to undo.

-snip-

You deserve so much more than this, xara. Regular gaslighting is no good on anyone's mental health.

I'm working on giving zero damns about what others think about my decisions or actions. It's hard. I've been socialized to not say "no", not cause conflict, etc. and being a caring, empathetic person has lead me down the path of putting other people's feelings above my own. From seeing your posts, you also seem to be a caring, empathetic individual.

What has started to help me is thinking about what I am feeling or thinking when I find myself in a situation where I feel like I have to defend my actions. For example:
- Am I doing what I want to do or what I think I should be doing?
- Is this a hill I'm willing to die on, or is it better in this scenario for my relationship with the person to keep the peace?

Honestly, I find it so much easier to stand up for my thoughts and decisions at work because task conflict is just so much easier to deal with in comparison to relationship conflict (not that it's objectively easy either, lol).

I hope this helps you, even a bit, and my PMs are always open if you want to talk about this in more detail or vent.

-snip-

My sincerest condolences. It is hard to always have that perspective in mind with day-to-day life.

 

[Chris]

I'm sorry to hear that, which one did you get? We got the Moderna and with the first dose, I felt like I had the flu for a couple days but was fine on the second. My husband was the opposite. He was fine on the first dose and felt like he had the flu on the second. Hope you feel better soon!

Pfizer. Feeling a little brighter, but not by much! I've done barely anything for several days now. Trying to complete a piece of work due next week and my head still feels like someone replaced my brain with cotton wool balls.

 

[Foreverfox]

Pfizer. Feeling a little brighter, but not by much! I've done barely anything for several days now. Trying to complete a piece of work due next week and my head still feels like someone replaced my brain with cotton wool balls.

Sad to say, I know the exact feeling you mean! hopefully each day gets a little better! Maybe some curry and tea will do the trick.

 

[-Lumi-]

My dad is still upset with me because a few days ago I said he should make a doctors appointment if he really thinks he’s reacting badly to his new medication. I’m just. Tired. He didn’t stop using his fentanyl patches properly (no doctor intervention beforehand, he just decided to quit) so I had to intervene and contact his doctor and the pharmacy.

Now he’s on a new medication that he didn’t actually talk to the doctor about (the doctor & pharmacists decided on it I guess?) and he’s just been unhappy with it since day one. I understand he’s in chronic pain and I understand that must be so frustrating and hard. But oh. my. god. I’m tired of, “I think it’s my new medication making my legs ache. I think it’s the new medication making me sneeze. I think it’s the new medication making me sleepy. I think it’s the new medication not letting me sleep. I think it’s the new medication giving me headaches”

So go see the damn doctor if the new medication is that bad???????? Maybe if you had gone to see her in the first place she could have gone over the potential side effects of the medication and what is reasonable to expect from it in terms of pain management.

I’m just frustrated. I know he has it worse being the one in chronic pain. But it’s exhausting and heartbreaking being around him sometimes.

 

[Chris]

Sad to say, I know the exact feeling you mean! hopefully each day gets a little better! Maybe some curry and tea will do the trick.

Already had five cups of tea today and I was actually thinking of ordering a curry for dinner.

 

[jiny]

my throat’s starting to feel weird when i swallow idk if it’s bc i just woke up but i really hope im not getting sick. my mom & brother both got sick recently so

 

[Alienfish]

my throat’s starting to feel weird when i swallow idk if it’s bc i just woke up but i really hope im not getting sick. my mom & brother both got sick recently so

Oof, hope it's just autumn seasonal frap or stuff

 

[_Rainy_]

Two more hours to go and my 46 hour work week is coming to a close and I get the day off tomorrow which I’m happy about, but I’m exhausted. I try to work hard, but my client told me to knock it off and go sit today. My co worker has COVID so I may end up having another busy week this coming week and I’m ready for a vacation. Sora is having surgery this Tuesday and I need to to prepare a comfortable area for her to recover in.