I remember when my grandma died, my grandma whom I hadn't had any contact with since I was a kid. Sure, she was a sweet ol' granny who doted on me as a child, but that's in the past and I guess that over the years, I've felt apathetic towards my own family, especially my father whom I really didn't get along with. When he died half a year ago, I barely shed a tear and merely complained about his flaws at his funeral. I'm kinda glad he died to be honest; he was an ***hole.
My only fear was that he would haunt me and seek revenge on me for all the grievance we had towards each other. We Chinese are superstitious like that.
Like, these relatives and friends of mine kept making a big deal out of me crying over my dad someday if he ever dies, and all I ever did was going "Good riddance," so I don't even know what they're talking about. They clearly had no idea the kind of relationship my father and I had. He used to hit me with a rattan cane as a kid. A lot. Got what he deserves.
lmao im really sleepy
also what is it with all of the events im involved in this weekend, i have three (3) events and they're all happening within the same hour. i literally did nothing else today, why was everything scheduled at the same time
anyway i know what to prioritize since i'm the vice chair of one of the said events and this one was in my calendar longer than the other 2 events, im just kinda sad i wont be able to participate in all since i really want to :c
idk why but I already feel really overstimulated today, problem is that no stimulation drives me crazy but on days like today any stimulation (tv, music, etc) also drives me crazy. wish I could've gone back to sleep for a bit longer ;;
idk why but I already feel really overstimulated today, problem is that no stimulation drives me crazy but on days like today any stimulation (tv, music, etc) also drives me crazy. wish I could've gone back to sleep for a bit longer ;;
Same here, overstimulated. Which is why I ended up spamming in the forum today, just reviving old threads and stuff. Just stimulated with no outlet to go to.
I knew I shouldn't have tried that activity again. I mean, you would think you would've learned from your experience from engaging with people by now, but nope.
Well, better luck next time, buckaroo. Just try to stay away from said activity. I mean, I've got my binge-watching going on, and that kept me happy for a while, but I got greedy and wanted something more out of my daily hobbies. My bad, I guess. Should've remembered what happened in the past.
Just another abandoned village in my long list of career.
Semi-long venting post about social media… and how forums are better.
Facebook…
I see people asking questions, and the answers people get are so condescending. It’s always “you know google exists” or “omg, it’s just a ____, karen.” It’s just super negative. It seems like everyone has the impression that their answer is the only correct answer. The laughing react gets used in situations it should never be used in. I guarantee most people’s most used reaction is the laugh react, just constantly laughing at posts they disagree with. Why not just agree to disagree or leave it alone? Stop asking for drama instead of stirring the pot. With this forum, I like how there is no laughing react or angry react.
Whenever someone does disagree, and they disagree in a nice manner, there is no need to dig through the other person’s profile and attack them. I’m not even talking extreme issues, just simple comments about sports or certain foods or places to go. They’ll resort to attacks like calling the OP ugly or calling them derogatory terms if they are not straight or do not appear to be straight. I legit saw someone call someone else’s dog ugly in their profile picture because they posted an opinion about a sports team. It’s not right to resort to personal attacks. I’ve been on the receiving side of it…and you cannot change my mind with this one: When you use a profile picture that isn’t you and someone tells you “says the person with a pic of their dog…” it’s a no win situation. If your profile pic was actually you, they’ll just find reasons to bash you about that. Some of these people just hide behind a computer screen, no guts in real life. I just deactivated my Facebook and changed my password to random letters.
Forums are so much more laid back and respectful than social media. They have a much better environment. And how social media took over I’ll never understand. I want to go back to the days forums in general were popular. And a shoutout to TBT to still being relatively active in 2021. That’s amazing considering everything else.
Semi-long venting post about social media… and how forums are better.
Facebook…
I see people asking questions, and the answers people get are so condescending. It’s always “you know google exists” or “omg, it’s just a ____, karen.” It’s just super negative. It seems like everyone has the impression that their answer is the only correct answer. The laughing react gets used in situations it should never be used in. I guarantee most people’s most used reaction is the laugh react, just constantly laughing at posts they disagree with. Why not just agree to disagree or leave it alone? Stop asking for drama instead of stirring the pot. With this forum, I like how there is no laughing react or angry react.
Whenever someone does disagree, and they disagree in a nice manner, there is no need to dig through the other person’s profile and attack them. I’m not even talking extreme issues, just simple comments about sports or certain foods or places to go. They’ll resort to attacks like calling the OP ugly or calling them derogatory terms if they are not straight or do not appear to be straight. I legit saw someone call someone else’s dog ugly in their profile picture because they posted an opinion about a sports team. It’s not right to resort to personal attacks. I’ve been on the receiving side of it…and you cannot change my mind with this one: When you use a profile picture that isn’t you and someone tells you “says the person with a pic of their dog…” it’s a no win situation. If your profile pic was actually you, they’ll just find reasons to bash you about that. Some of these people just hide behind a computer screen, no guts in real life. I just deactivated my Facebook and changed my password to random letters.
Forums are so much more laid back and respectful than forums. They have a much better environment. And how social media took over I’ll never understand. I want to go back to the days forums in general were popular. And a shoutout to TBT to still being relatively active in 2021. That’s amazing considering everything else.
Forums do have a more controlled environment that differentiates itself from the usual Internet rascals you'd find, but having been on the Internet since I was 10 years old for the past 21 years, I guess I'm pretty used to that kind of environment on the net, anonymous people just using their anonymity to be the worst human beings on Earth. Has it made me jaded towards people over the years? Sure. But I feel like it's like piracy, or in a more cynical sense, it's even like one of the many causes in America - it's very challenging, almost impossible to really change anything when it's just how it is, a widespread attitude that's way too ubiquitous to control unless you're some politician (or Emma González). So I've chosen to not even care about Internet attitude anymore and just roll with it, to take what pleasure I can get out of this chaotic Wild West.
I do agree though that Facebook has issues. I still remember the many victims who suffered more than just personal attacks on Facebook. I mean, I can't get too specific here without getting too graphic, but if you recall, there were those bullied victims back then who had their entire lives ruined because their classmates were pretty much lynching them. It gets very, very ugly very fast, spreading like wildfire. American highschools, man, it's just not a pretty picture. And now, imagine what they could do, how much damage they would do if they could get away with it? That's the Internet for you.
Also, social media? That's just surface level. Don't get me started on the Dark Web and stuff. The bullies on Facebook are just small-time hoodlums. They're bad, but there are far worse things out there on the Internet. I'm just glad I've managed to avoid getting doxxed over the years. That stuff can really mess with your life, your home exposed to the entire world. Technology might have improved, but it also means that information travels so fast now that the whole world can not only just laugh at you, but know where you live in an instant.
Sorry that I kinda went off-topic there and just started rambling, but yeah, the Internet's not a nice place. And you know, Internet forums are great for their controlled environment, but it also really depends on the kind of community you're dealing with. I've known my share of lynching in forums too, with mods and admins banning people for their opinions. It's literally on the news and on YouTube, how people share their experiences of being banned from forums for exaggerated reasons. I remember Angry Joe got banned from this one forum I won't name because of his videos (which are meant to be a joke). With forums also comes gatekeeping.
But that's a whole other topic I won't delve into.
I don't think we'll ever contain this delta outbreak like we've done in the past. Our biggest city is still under lockdown, the longest its ever been in lockdown before, and there's not too many signs of the outbreak slowing down. We're gonna have to learn to live with it, but with so many idiots out there who won't get vaccinated, it isn't gonna help our situation. It's disappointing to me that we have to move away from the elimination strategy as we've prevented so much sickness and death so far, and people not getting vaccinated is only going to bring more sickness and death if we don't contain this outbreak/just let the virus in. People don't want more lockdowns, but also don't believe in the vaccine, and I???? I'm just at a loss at some people's thought processes.
I cried at work today like the over-sensitive, doesn't-know-how-to-deal-with-negative-emotions person I am cause I thought I maybe accidentally hurt a dog.
Later a coworker told me the owner said the dog is just like that and that I didn't do anythin to her.
But I still wonder if I was told that just to calm me down or somethin. One of my other coworkers asked if I wanted cake (birthday at work today) but I shook my head and said no. Maybe she picked up I wasn't feeling good, or because I denied cake which I don't normally do, so she asked if I was okay. I just lied and said I was fine. But once she went back to doing her thing, her asking me if I was fine broke me and I cried to myself. I still think I was told that and that it was a lie, and that maybe I did hurt the dog by accident,and that I was told she's just like that since I was upset about it.
Today was very rough. I've been working at my job for about 10 months now, and seeing people who have been working there less than I have, get promoted or recognized for their hard work just hurts me.
Spoilers contain more context.
I train all the new hires, I bust my butt working for this company for really bad pay, I make minimum wage pay for my state. I haven't received a single raise, promotion, or any employee recognition (employee of the month and such), since I've been working here. My assistant manager gave me this cashier to-do list and it was such an overwhelmingly long list, for someone who has to be at their register for 99% of the shift. They had told me they were starting to reinforce the list since most of the cashiers seem to neglect it (I can only wonder why...) and I was just upset and disappointed by how much the higher-ups expect of us for such a terrible pay. I know it can be a LOT worse. However, it's incredibly disappointing because I've seen two new-ish employees get promoted before me and/or get raises before me. They claim I haven't been promoted because of the fact I can't work a whole lot of hours (I can't work anything more than 30 a week, I can't work full-time unless if I wanna lose my health benefits). I just think that's... horrible? Seeing other coworkers make more than me for doing the same amount of work (if not less), just makes me feel really crappy.
I was bawling my eyes out in the break-room because I feel so undervalued and unappreciated. I love my coworkers SO much. It's why I refuse to leave. I used to think having a good group of people to work with was worth more than being paid terribly. Which is why I don't want to leave. I LOVE everybody I work with, I'm so invested in this job and attached to these people... Anyways.. Once I calmed down, I finished my shift and went home. My favorite coworker messaged me telling me our boss wanted to promote him. He hasn't even been working here a full month? It was such a GIGANTIC slap in the face. I cried for 30 minutes. I just want to feel appreciated for the work I do. But I'm too scared to confront my boss about it. My boss has told everyone except for me I'm the best cashier they have, but... it really doesn't feel that way. My mom told me maybe my boss can only see me working as a cashier because it's my 'best fit'? I'm nice to every customer, I'm patient, etc. But I'm not treated the way I feel I deserve to be treated there. I feel overdramatic? But at the same time I know it's valid to feel this way? My boss always wonders why they keep losing valuable people.
It's times like these I wish I could drive/have insurance on my car...
So I can go frickin GROCERY SHOPPING for my DAMM SELF (and sis) to actually have some food to eat for lunch, instead of 'throw together whatever we have'. That, or, my parents letting my sis and I have more freedom/independence so we can go out or order delivery.
Sorry to hear that! I don't know what exactly hurts, but if it is joint or muscle pain, I hear that epsom salt baths can help soothe the pains. I hope that you feel better!
Sorry to hear about your situation Dun. I know it's not much consolation, but you can always hit me up with a pm if you need someone to talk to. I may not have been posting actively these past few days, due to things hitting the fan, but I do log on daily for a tiny bit. So feel free to chat if you need it!
@Mimi Cheems Take it from me, I had plenty of jobs where I loved the company of the people I worked with. Not for. But with. You can and always will find colleagues that you get along with at any other job. It's hard to leave a place where you committed so much of your time. I totally get that because I have been there. But just like you I wasn't being appreciated for what I was doing for them and eventually that cashier list is just going to get bigger and bigger. Give those greedy SOBs a inch and they will take a mile.
There's a reason why the workforce is so understaffed. Yeah unemployment benefits for covid being given plays a factor. But the workforce still in commision is wising up and realizing they don't need to take the abuse anymore because corporate america just can't find the people. If you really want this job and want to feel valued, you could always give the ultimatum for a pay raise or you're leaving. If you don't do anything, nothing is going to change.
The only reason I've gotten any of my promotions and payraises is asking for them. I've never had any job just come up to me and say 'Hey I'm promoting you.' Either they're all squeezing your boss for a raise/promotion or your boss is so scared of losing staff he is just going crazy with promotions to keep them. I'm sorry I can't really give feel good vibes...but I would rather give you mho
It's not necessarily forums, because I love discord just as much as I like forums like TBT. It's more in that with social media you are just barraged by everyone and you can isolate what you want to see in forums/discord. And to a lesser extent reddit due to their subcategories, but most users there are just tryhard trolls and edgelords. Like the most upvoted comments for someone asking a legit question are always something rude, witty, or unrelated. Or all of the above. And just for clout/upvotes.
Jaw hurts really bad again. I keep clenching my teeth without meaning to as I work on this drawing. Can’t draw now because the pain is really bad and is going into my ear. i took a pain pill not too long ago so can’t take another one yet :/.
edit: messed up noticeably on my drawing and found a small hole on the paper. i was able to tape it on the back but was hard coloring over.
my phone is being stupid again going off charge and on and so my battery is down to 20%. Tuesday i should be getting a new phone. wish i didn’t need to get one but i have had this for a good amount of time.
