i-
i swear i'm this close to just ending it. i feel like it's always bad thing after bad thing after bad thing with my life, especially regarding my relationship. i've been trying to meet up with my girlfriend since june. every time we set a date, something goes wrong right beforehand. someone gets sick. someone in her office tests positive. someone else gets sick. it's happened so many times -- maybe 10 -- that i don't even remember all the reasons. this time, she might have COVID. she took a lateral randomly, and it came back positive. normally, i'd just feel disappointed and move on. set another date. but tomorrow (sunday) we were supposed to go to a concert. we've been waiting a year, after it was moved from march due to the pandemic. it's the main reason i haven't offed myself up until this point, and now... we can't go. i know some people are going to call me selfish and say that i should be more concerned about her heath etc. etc. but i just. god, it's one thing after another, and there's other stuff going on, and. i've had enough. i don't know how much more i can take.