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What's Bothering You?

every time I think about the fact that Xander is gone when he looked perfectly fine the day before just absolutely leaves me in disbelief. I feel like I'm living in a nightmare and I wish I could wake up and see him alive and well again.
 
Hardly any recent listings for Mathilda on Nookazon. She's a great village, how come people don't think she's worth to sell😅 I'll probably have to get her last because apparently she rare on Nookazon.
 
still feeling a great deal of emptiness. I don't know what to think anymore. I thought my life was finally returning to normal and all was well. I can't stop thinking about yesterday morning and it is so disheartening that everything can change literally in the blink of an eye. I'm so tired of grieving.

I think I will go on a hiatus temporarily. I need time to process this on my own.
 
Just ate two McDonald's cheeseburgers and I feel so ****ing fat and disgusting.

My dad was also bragging about the alcohol and weed he bought and I wanted to cry.
(For those who are unaware, which you most likely are, I have trauma associated with alcohol and smoking and all that. Even someone talking about it makes me nervous and upset...)
 
I’m debating going to sleep now or in a half hour. Most likely, I’ll go to sleep within the next hour.
 
Feeling pretty yucky right now. Feeling tired but not sure I'll get to sleep soon. I fell asleep during the day at some point due to not feeling well. That is probably part of the reason I'm not going to fall asleep for a bit. Had some bizarre but not scary dreams during that.
 
I had some weird dream last night. It wasn’t like any dreams I normally have. I’m not sure what enticed me to have that sort of dream. The weird thinking was that I was in a relationship, but not with anyone I currently know. I don’t know who the person was but they shared no similarities to anyone I know in real life. I don’t know what dreams like this mean, but it was quite different from dreams I typically have. It was just a little weird to me, and I woke up feeling a bit weird about it.
 
My eczema is starting up again and its all red and stuff. I guess time for more of those steroids and lotion :mad:
 
Was supposed to get my phone wallet-case delivered this morning. I picked another delivery option than before I used these people cause why not and the usual domestic mail is slower.

Don't you think this one didn't care to deliver and they put some lame excuse on the tracking. Yeah I hope they deliver tomorrow. If they claim they have my gate code and CAN get and put it in my letterbox why do this. Really not using them again, would this get sent back.
 
So, a mosquito attacked me at some point yesterday and now I have itches everywhere x.x behind the knees is the worst.
 
this is weird but now that i have lots of free time bc im out of school i feel anxious to be productive if that makes sense. i’ll be playing new leaf then my brain will be like “no you should be doing something actually useful like drawing”
 
Was supposed to be going to a friends wedding this weekend (which has been postponed for almost 3 years now..) and my partner and I both have covid 🥲 how have I managed to avoid it for so long until the one weekend we had something planned.
 
The fact that I have to “forget this device” on mr Airpods every single time I want to connect them. I’ve never used to have this problem. If I don’t reconnect them, they are out of range. It gets annoying.
 
Back still hurts. I have chewable asprins (I can't swallow pills) and they do not help at all.


Also tomorrow is going to suck at work, someone is going to be out, and that person does alot around work, so that will now automatically fall on me to do all the catch up. We're going to be short staffed and the people who take the appointments never seem to realize we are short staffed in the back all the ****in time and over schedule the amount of dogs that come in. This whole week has sucked. Everything just kinda sucks lately.
 
Been feelin' kinda sick the past few days, as mostly shown with headaches and fatigue. Maybe it's just symptoms of my period, but I dunno. I've been complaining quite a bit of my laziness, and I think that could be a part of it. Whatever the case may be, I wish I can over-come it so I can be more productive (even though my definition of 'productive' is writing fanfiction and accomplishing a goal in Wii Sports).
 
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