What's Bothering You?

[xSuperMario64x]

thinking about Xander again, I miss him so much

 

[Croconaw]

Well, I’m about to sleep now, but I’m wondering if I should ask my friend if she’s okay or if she’s feeling better first.

 

[Alienfish]

This person on neopets..stop ghosting kthxbai.

 

[Beanz]

my grandma is trying to start **** with me at 3 am. for some reason she’s mad at me that i went to sleep past my bed time (10 pm) on a friday. she wakes me up by screaming at me in the other room, yelling for water then after she’s like “you went to sleep at 1 am, stop lying to me” so i said “no i didn’t i went upstairs by 11:30.” it’s the little things that set me off with her. i don’t know why she’s mad because the main reason why she doesn’t like it when i go to bed late is because apparently i disturb her when i go to the bathroom. well, when i got upstairs she was sound asleep in her bed. we were watching umbrella academy which is a show that she doesn’t like anymore, and because SHE doesn’t like it nobody else can watch it. she tried to manipulate me into agreeing with her the other day, she doesn’t do this with my brother.

oh and apparently im in charge of my 15 year old brother, if he doesn’t make it to bed on time apparently it’s my fault. i also need to clean his plate after he eats because apparently he can’t open the dishwasher himself either, and i need to fold his clothes for him too, im basically like his mother. the reason why i think he gets away with this is because 1. he’s the youngest, and 2. because he’s a boy. several months ago my grandmother and i were fighting, and i asked her why can’t my brother fold his own clothes. she literally said to me it’s because im a girl, and she’s teaching me how to do housework for my husband one day. she also said it’s gay for men to do house work, i honestly could not believe what i was hearing.

other than that it’s so difficult to live with my grandma sometimes, it’s very obvious that she is extremely mentally ill but refuses to get help. when she was in the hospital a few months ago, it was so peaceful because i had nobody constantly manipulating me. but then of course she has a whole episode at the hospital, screaming at us and asking the nurses if she can go home early and if not she’s going to call the police to pick her up. i’m a little scared to post that and i recognize that not all mentally ill people pull that **** but this woman is extremely difficult to deal with.

 

[Alienfish]

i’m a little scared to post that and i recognize that not all mentally ill people pull that **** but this woman is extremely difficult to deal with.

obviously mental illnesses do show up differently on different people and people should honestly not be triggered and assume someone's post is not legit or whatever.

anyhow, i'm very sorry for that stuff you're going thru, family/relatives can be extremely manipulative andi hope your grandma will eventually get the help she needs.

 

[-Mars-]

--

 

[Croconaw]

I’m contemplating going over to the gas station next door to pick up some spicy chicken tenders.
Not me almost writing the name of the local gas station because I forgot where I was typing, lol.

Also, I wish there was a different manager working today but the other two managers are either off, or out with COVID (her boyfriend has it and she tested positive, as well).

I am contemplating asking my friend if she’s feeling better, as well. She was upset a few days ago and I’m just wondering if she’s okay. I might ask sometime today. I don’t know what’s stopping me.

 

[nightglow]

Bug bites driven me bonkers. I wasn't even outside for that long of a time.

 

[Croconaw]

How on earth can someone that’s 15 years old be so much more mature than most 16+ and even adults at my job and in general? People think I’m anti-minor, but I’m anti-people who goof off and don’t do their job. Don’t get me wrong, it’s absolutely okay to have fun at work so long as the work is getting done. However, the kind of fun they are having is giving temporary tattoos in the dining room while there are customers seated. They’ll be sitting down ignoring guests and talking very, very loudly. This isn’t okay. And their work isn’t getting done by them. We got held up one hour a few nights ago because a girl wouldn’t clean her own section.

 

[xSuperMario64x]

i hate when my emotions fluctuate so rapidly or try to come out at the same time. like when I'm feeling down bc I'm tired and honestly not prepared for the day but I also feel overwhelmingly happy because I'm playing with Miko while lying here. it's so exhausting.

also hate when there's something I want to do and my OCD fixates on it forever. I've been thinking about getting a new 3DSXL for the last few days and I can't stop, even though I know I have to wait for the game store to have one in stock that I want. it's like when I need to go somewhere and I end up getting ready 3 hours early and then I sit around and do nothing for 3 hours waiting to leave.

 

[Alienfish]

team pogo rocket..i really hate these events

 

[Firesquids]

Still lonely.
Been reaching out, but I'm getting tired again.

 

[xSuperMario64x]

sitting in the car w my dad and my anxiety is so high right now

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

Yesterday my brother and his friend were talking about LGBTQ+ stuff and was getting a lot of information wrong (like saying that it's 'popular' and that half of the population was a part of it), so I corrected them. "Wait, so only 11% of the population are mistakes and not 50%?" My brother said. I got mad and asked him not to refer to LGBTQ+ people as mistakes, in which he responds with: "I can call them whatever I want, and I say that they're mistakes!"

My brother was also touching my feet and my face when I was trying to sleep last night. His friend was there and he asked what my brother was doing, apparently he was just "trying to wake me up". Yeah, right. It felt really weird and I was uncomfortable with what my brother was doing.

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Just a couple of irl stuff that annoyed me. I don't like how I can be happy one day and be so down the next. I hate myself sometimes.

Please don't reply to this. Thanks.

 

[Xara]

i wish i mattered more.

 

[Alienfish]

This dude really is a fool, like I get you want to keep the server clean from spam and such but your FAQ about that one thing absolutely sucks and what does it matter if someone ask about it, smh.

 

[_Rainy_]

One of my clients is in the hospital and I'm sitting in the ER with another one right now. Also just exhausted from poor sleep from allergies and I haven't gotten the chance to eat yet.

 

[Xara]

Spoiler: vent // tw cat euthanization

this is going to be an absolute mess of a post because i need to vent so bad, but i have so many thoughts and feelings right now that they’re all jumbled together and i don’t know how to untangle them enough so that i can spit them out coherently or healthily, i just. ****.

my mother has come to the decision that alize (my cat) will be put to sleep on monday. my parents discussed it in the car, and then decided to loop me in after. my mother’s asked me if i’m okay with this, as if the decision hasn’t already been made. as if it actually matters whether i’m okay with this or not.

this photo was taken 27 days ago. 27 days ago. she was fine. she was literally ****ing fine. i’m numb. i’m so filled with rage and grief and pure ****ing disbelief that i’m numb. i’m not reacting in the way i’m probably supposed to be, and i actually hate myself for it. smoke. browse internet. sleep. i’m not spending time with her. i’m not sitting next to her while she tries to sleep, trying to engrave in my mind what petting her feels like. i’m avoiding her. i’m hiding, like the coward i am. i cannot sit on the floor and bawl over another cat. i can’t do it. i don’t want to. i don’t want to listen to my mother cry or hear my dad complain about how expensive this has all been. i am so indifferent towards them now that it’s not even funny. they haven’t asked me how i am once. my mom doesn’t even look at me anymore. only her. and i’m alone. i am literally going through this alone. my friends are all struggling and i refuse to burden them with my problems, too, but i am so alone. i don’t want to do this alone. i don’t want to be by myself. i just want to be held. i just want to matter. i want my grief to matter. i want my anger to matter. i want to go with her. i don’t want this to be my life. i don’t want to grieve anymore. i just want to be okay. i just wanted her to be okay. i wanted alize to live, to make it to her first birthday. i don’t want her to die.

 

[xSuperMario64x]

idk I just feel agitated and anxious about everything, I feel pathetic.

also messaged a few friends earlier and neither of them replied to me so that's cool. hate when I try really hard to be friends w someone and I don't hear anything back for forever with no explanation upon their return.