What's Bothering You?

[xSuperMario64x]

I literally just got over being depressed, and now I'm right back at it. I'm so tired and my thoughts and emotions are all over the place. the 3DS servers shutting down officially marked the end of an era and I am mourning it. the eclipse was so strikingly ethereal that it really messed with my emotions in a way I never thought it could. not to mention a dear friend of mine (posted in here earlier) couldn't witness totality, or even the partial eclipse. so many things are holding me back from where I want to be right now. and of course, I still hate being in this house and I feel emotionally unsafe around my parents.

I'm so tired, I wish I could just go back to bed but I know I won't be able to fall asleep and just lying there won't help anything. most days I can be strong and cope with the fact that there's a lot of work between where I am now and where I want to be, and I have to be patient and give it time and give myself room to learn and grow. but some days I'm just not feeling so strong and patient.

I dunno, life is just... kinda sad right now.

 

[moonbyu]

i did a presentation yesterday and i really thought i did good until one of my classmates came up to me and told me how nervous i looked and my group members agreed damn.

 

[oak]

I'm in the waiting room of the dentist and my arm pits are sweating. Why is the dentist so scary lmao

Update: the dentist went fine and I was all stressed out for nothing as per usual

 

[Xara]

me oversharing on teebeetee.com

 

[Dunquixote]

Spoiler

I’m troubled by some complaints I read in a chat group about Disney but nothing about their support for genocide. I’m sure some people don’t know about it but on twitter, the news is everywhere and I’m retweeting it so even if they blocked the word, unless they mute me, they’re going to see it. I didn’t read the chat thread though since I’m trying to avoid triggering topics with the way I’ve been feeling. I’m contemplating leaving the chat group; I like the group but I rather avoid politics and such with my friends. I’m just worried they will take me leaving the wrong way.

 

[Dinosaur]

I was cleaning my earrings and dropped one into the drawer in the bathroom. I emptied the entire drawer and still didn't find it.

 

[toxapex]

This hasn't stopped. It's 4:30AM and every few minutes my leg painfully constricts. Sleep? What's that?

Not sure if this translates, but I suffer from carpal tunnel-y wrist pains every so often and I am usually able to help the pain by alternating heat and cold on it every 10-15 minutes (like a hot towel for 15 mins, an icepack wrapped in a towel for 15 mins, and repeat)

Regardless of if that advice is helpful, I hope the injury clears up

 

[Chris]

Regardless of if that advice is helpful, I hope the injury clears up

Turned out it was a symptom of one of my conditions (anaemia) and being late on the relative treatment. It's lessened now but still ongoing. Been told to call the doctor tomorrow if it is still occurring after 24hrs.

But I'll definitely try that for some pain relief. Thank you!

 

[skarmoury]

Spoiler: ;lmdsf;

my workmates are so ****ty i absolutely hate it here, theyre so bad at communicating (e.g. they switched my sched to accommodate someone else WITHOUT TELLING ME so all my plans had to be cancelled today), theyre not present during zoom meetings when they have the bigger role than me (note that one guy is at the BEACH and literally did not tell anyone in the room, not even our seniors/boss, so I had to swoop in and do his work for him bc otherwise they would get mad at us interns), and they dont even know parts of their own job?? my workmate tried gaslighting & guilt tripping me today for calling them out on the sched change without my knowledge/permission (note I was very civil with them) so i just muted and hid their chat away bc i couldnt bother talking to them anymore. they are so bad at receiving criticism for their own faults and deflect the blame to literally anything else and try guilt tripping me to make me feel bad about calling them out. for the guy who was away and at the beach, he's responsible for making our schedule for the next two weeks and we have literally received no news from him. work starts tomorrow and we have absolutely no idea what we are doing because he cant bother to give us a heads up on anything at all. lmao ive had enough of my workmates i hate it here

Spoiler: upd8

lil update on this, i found out the guy who switched scheds with me lied to me about why they needed a sched change. when i asked him why he suddenly changed my schedule, they told me they had a medical consultation on sunday so i was like ok (already sketchy as is bc which doctor makes outpatient check-ups on a Sunday?? didnt comment on it tho). But then my friends started messaging me about how said guy posted on instagram that he was having a lil out-of-town vacation with his boyfriend. i was so so sick to my stomach bc I also had plans i had to cancel because of the sudden sched change, just to find out that his reason for switching scheds was all to accommodate his silly little date?? bro could've scheduled his date another day or something, he knew he was on-call that day (our schedules have been posted the week before), but nooo he had to compromise my own schedule without telling me or even asking permission just so he could have a little fun.

i posted on instagram to just show how my boyfriend was so understanding of me despite my very confusing schedule that day (he treated me to Chili's and ice cream :c ), and this guy felt i was some sort of threat (?) to his clout so he posted about his own boyfriend after I did. I didn't really think of it that much and didn't tell anyone my sentiments, but my friends suddenly messaged me about it and i was like LMAO ok so maybe it is a big deal

and lemme just tell you the attitude of this guy, he is literally Main Character vibes, and i dont say that to just anyone lol. during one discussion he was pitching in so many random things just to show off his knowledge (e.g. he's answer a question and say 473823 more sentences afterwards that even our senior was like ? ok ), and after he'd say Some Smart Thing, he would grab his EMPTY COFFEE CUP and shake it and sip on it. like bro what are you doing ? it's so funny bc me and my work friends collectively noticed him being attention-seeking and stuff so it's definitely not a me thing alone LOL

we've called out on his BS multiple times but he either deflects the blame, ignores the question, or guilt trips us into confronting him about it i hate him so muchhh how do i block someone i work with IRL

 

[Dunquixote]

sorry for posting here again so soon. really upset because i almost lost my genshin account and the whole thing about only being able to use my email for one game by hoyoverse being wrong or a lie. they better move my account to the right email since i never went to the settings since making my main email the email for genshin and changed it and not give me that bs they gave me in my first ticket about this. My mood was picking up a little and then this happened :/. Idk why every support regardless what game or company i message about linking issues or something, they lie and don’t know what they’re doing like years ago, one company told me to do trouble shooting steps to try to unlink and kept redirecting me to someone in chat support until finally someone says there is no option to unlink (different situation from this one). like uh, why didn’t you say so and not waste my time with that bs then?

 

[-Raven-]

I feel more dysphoric today, like it's not that normal to look in the mirror and 80% of the time I've felt like I'm borrowing someone's body right? I thought people might look in the mirror and feel a bit weird the way they do hearing their own voice, but not to this degree right? The 20% that I feel like it's me in the mirror, it's been as an adult where I have to suck it up more, or on days I just feel vain about my body and can shut the dysphoria off more. There go any doubts I had about falling under the trans umbrella, it's just been weird when sometimes I can't tell how much of it was being trans and how much was my depersonalization outright.

Aside from that apparently Gigantic servers (one of the games I was actually excited about) are terrible/barely let anyone log in, and Guilty Gear Oceania servers are dead (no players online at peak hours despite a character dropping a week ago), I can't play the games I really care about online I guess. Christ, let me enjoy Raven/Chaos without 300 ping, my only option for rando matches is either doing that or looking for Aus Discord servers, but my gaslighter from years ago is probably there. I am desperate to play GG with other Aus people, but I don't want to see that guy. Also, it just sucks when EVERY online game I have to settle knowing the lag is there because Aus playerbases are always dead. The only one I've seen holding a good player count is Overwatch and lol boring. FGs would be a top 3 genre for me if I could actually play them, sad as hell.

 

[Millysaurusrexjr]

decided 2 delete

 

[Bulbadragon]

I need the semester to be over already. I am so tired. I want to be done but I have to wait until August to be completely finished. 7 years of school (4 in undergrad and 3 in grad school) is such a long time to be a student. I just want to be able to go to a job and come home with no homework or readings to studying to be done.

Only 2.5 more weeks until I get a 3 week break before my last semester.

 

[Disneyfangirl23]

-sighs- I just wish I could change my username

 

[Dunquixote]

My HSR account was switched into the fourth email that i requested to delete so i had to unfreeze it. i’m tired of this cycle. stop telling me stuff that isn’t true and then tell me the opposite in another ticket. sorry for posting again so soon. Just can’t believe this. i’m at my limit. i want my account for hsr and genshin share the same email. idk why it keeps switching and now my hsr account went to an email that it shouldn’t have been switched to just like my genshin account was switched to my secondary email when i didn’t prompt it too.

 

[SkyKnight03]

-sighs- I just wish I could change my username

I donated you most of my remaining bells. I know it's not enough but hopefully it'll push towards the change quicker.

I understand what it's like to not want a username. (I spent all my seashells changing mine around).

 

[Dim]

I had some pretty disturbing dreams this morning, and I just woke up to hearing my sister's voice whom I haven't seen or heard from in 9 months. I really like this new medication I'm on because it's been stabilizing my mood and such without making me an emotionless zombie or uncomfortable under my skin. I just hope it's not starting to play tricks on me.

 

[Airysuit]

Threw my back out monday, and I'm on day 2 of bedrest and it's horrible. Really painful but mostly pretty stressed because I'm moving in 3 weeks and after that planning to travel for 2 months could not have happened at a worse time

 

[oak]

I feel like I've been complaining here a lot and it's cause I'm trying not to bug people too much irl. Hopefully you guys don't mind. I spoilered it cause mention of the word death

Spoiler

Today my dad goes to the lawyers and he has to become power of attorney over my mom so basically he will take control of all her expenses. Then me and my sister have to be added to the house deed and bank accounts incase my dad randomly decides to die cause my mom needs 24/7 care from a care giver. My parents already wrote a will but there's usually a delay after someone dies and my mom will need us to immediately take on my dad's care giver roll. Unless of course she dies first then he will probs just die of sadness. I didn't expect to have to do all this planning for my parents at only 30.

 

[azurill]

I’m trying to lift my mood
I’m trying to lower my anxiety
But it’s just not working
I’m so tired of the back and forth with my aunt. I’m tired of how she treats me and everyone else. I’m tired of her sarcastic insults . She treats everyone badly then wonders why no one will help her when she asks then calls everyone stupid and worthless. I don’t want to deal with her when I get home but she will be over this evening when I get home.

Spoiler: So I unfortunately for me

Mine and my mom’s phone line is attached to her account and I have appreciated the discount but every time we upgrade a phone it’s always a problem. It’s my own fault for agreeing instead of just asking for our lines to be separate. She got mad at me yesterday for not having a phone case when she never told me when she was ordering the phone so I had no way of knowing she would be picking them up yesterday. Then told me I was freaking out for no reason when I was just trying to figure out a solution. I’m just tired of her biting my head off.