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What's Bothering You?

This is a few days old now but on a Nintendo server I’m part of there were people arguing about the price and this one guy came in saying, quote “you shouldn’t be hyped for it”, at other points him and another guy just complained when others were interested in the games and not talking about prices. I don’t even like Nintendo and hell would freeze before I buy a Switch 2, but it just affirmed how some people make their entire personality complaining. I’ve known this guy and had him blocked for years but I do give blocked posts a chance again sometimes, and I have never seen this guy humble or apologetic or remotely positive about anything. I’ve only ever seen him post to complain, he’s a jerk when you call it out, it really bothers me how some people just don’t change when they’re so obviously unpleasant. Though as for him specifically at this point it’s just funny he tried to stawman me as a fanboy with that classic “leave the multimillion dollar company alone” meme aimed directly at me, when I was one of the first to complain and was calling out his attitude instead. Like how tone-deaf can you be that your attitude is the problem and it’s not that I disagree with your opinion (because I don’t really), it’s just too absurd.

This is probably going to be a bit controversial but, “voting with your wallet” can be seriously overrated sometimes. Is it important and would it be a collective good? Yes but. These two people were trying to act like it was a moral dilemma and just spread negativity to a server with a dozen people. If you’re just going to do that it’s genuinely a “stop having fun” tier response. I DO vote with my wallet on almost everything (I don’t even use Amazon, imagine how annoying that can be when everyone defaults to it and so much is so hard to find here), but I’m not going to lie the biggest impact I have on my own is that I feel morally better for where I put my money in and sometimes just find better products (for what I do, Linux stomps all over Windows, I’m tired of hearing that it isn’t for everyone and seeing people act as though MacOS is much “better”). With that said I’m really not excited to see Lilo and Stitch sweep having basically boycotted Disney for the last decade and a half, there’s a lot about that remake specifically that bothers me and I can smell how much money it’s going to make. Yet here I am and I want to see the Minecraft movie which some people feel similarly about. I’ve been a good boy so let me have a cheat day. Only reason I’m not actually seeing it is my boyfriend is too far to go together and I know the theater is going to be full of kids rather than the zoomers in on the joke group I would actually want to see it with. Garrett seems so me-coded, THE NETHERRR

Also OTOH: “just shut your brain off” is always a lame response, the reason critics respect movies like that so much less is that they take so much less effort and I say this as someone with mega brainrot, it really bothers me that people think critics must be all pretentious and think they have power when they absolutely see how little impact they have and recieve all kinds of nasty complaints from fandom. I used to want to be a critic but then I saw how many people hate it and the anti-intellectuallism and how i would just have had no impact
 
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Measles cases are stressing me out!!! This should not be a disease we are dealing with in 2025!!! The kids in my nursery school are all required to be vaccinated but some of them have little baby siblings at home that are too young to be vaccinated and that worries me.
 
An old man came in with his dog because he was worried about her. He just rescued her and she was covered in fleas. Like....her skin was literally moving.

Both him and the dog were very sweet and he recieved everything needed to get her back on her feet. That's not the issue.

The issue is...I get home and pull fleas out of my hair.....despite having used PPE and multiple cleaning precautions. I can now feel them on me and they're not even there. Ughhhhh
 
I haven't been feeling well mentally since January and it's only getting worse and worse and worse.
First I got sick again, then I found out I'm not graduating this year and won't be able to for two more years (if I pass all my classes) and was only able to take 2 of my program's classes this semester.
Then I got super antisocial toward everyone I love and I don't know why and haven't fully recovered from that. I just suddenly hated all of my friends and nothing gave me a reason why.
I'm not taking care of myself, I'm barely eating or taking my meds, I'm not keeping my room clean. I can barely even hold attention on games and stuff that I like, and if I do I'm so far gone its all I can think about to an unhealthy degree. I feel like I'm on the verge of tears constantly and I don't know why. I want to do art and yet perfectionism and RSD makes me so adverse to doing it that I just don't.
And yeah, the world sucks. Everything sucks. Things are strained with certain friends and with certain family and even in school there are issues. But the thing is that you'd think that'd be what's causing me to be upset and none of that is? Or maybe it is?? I've developed an apathy response to anything I deem too stressful and I don't think it's not that I'm not feeling anything its just all the feelings are in there and stay in there and are so heavily masked that I don't even know what's causing them.

Cause I don't know what's causing them, I really don't. There are reasons for me to be upset yet I don't feel upset about those things, unless my theory holds true. Instead I'm just dysphoric mentally and I just don't really see any point. And I'd do things to help myself if I had the energy to even get out of bed. Usually I wait for my bad moods to subside but this is been since January at least, and I can feel it getting worse, and I dunno what to do except keep barely existing because I have to, and that's not a pleasant way to live nor giving me much hope or helping my mood lmao.

It'd help if I had anyone to talk to especially abt my interests but I'm not friends with anyone who likes the same stuff as me anymore especially to the degree i like it so idfk I guess I will sit here in silence and just be because thats all I can do. And no amount of people telling me that's enough is gonna convince me that it is lmao

and yes I'm going to therapy
 
trying to build a following while sites demand you already have ~10k followers or whatever before they stop treating you like a spambot/actually show your content to people just feels like the internet equivalent of "be 18 with 18 years of job experience"

edit: just to clarify, this is in regards to "having a following is kinda vital for an online art career"
 
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My cat Misty has to stay overnight at a pet hospital bc she was extremely lethargic and possibly had a stroke. 😢
Misty update: She is likely coming home tonight or tomorrow. The tech called and said Misty’s been eating, walking, responding to chin-scratches, etc. Her blood pressure was a bit high, too, so she’s taking meds for that in addition to her usual thyroid pills.
This was a relief to hear! Finn will also be happy to see his sister.
 
I feel almost offended when I'm told to be normal, but at the same time I also feel bad for acting differently compared to everyone else.

It makes me wonder how my online friends and/or my partner will perceive me if we ran into each other in person. I'd feel bad if they just don't like me anymore, because they would expect me to be a certain way. I just want to be accepted as a person, not rejected like some monster. It doesn't feel right for me to change for others, but what if it's the only way...?
 
This gressingham duck leg in orange and port sauce doesn't taste of orange nor duck, more of an artificial taste, it's quite concerning as they used to be nice. Another reason to use a Chinese takeaway
 
the impractical jokers situation.

i’m pretty young, and i have been watching impractical jokers for as long as i can remember. my parents used to turn it on all the time. they even went to one of their live shows.

my family knew that something was wrong years ago when episodes of the show with joe acting inappropriate were taken off of streaming services.

it’s just weird thinking that two of the men that i grew up watching on tv are actually disgusting people. murr and joe were never my favorites, so i’m not as sad as i would be if i found out sal did something like this.

the allegations aside, the show has only gone downhill since joe left a few years ago. they changed their intro to something that looks like a 2010s youtube channel into (if that makes sense) and the jokes just haven’t been as funny.
 
Edit: I was doing okay, drained. Now I’m still okay, but kinda also not feeling good. I think part might be because I spent too much time yesterday drawing since I feel like my head kinda feels funny (not a head ache) and my energy level feels like i got no sleep even though I did. I kinda feel a little overwhelmed, strained too, not sure why though. I might take a short nap; I probably shouldn’t draw anything today. I’m still having some difficulty coping with and my feelings about some stuff.

Having really bad anxiety about something I thought and said today.
 
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My dad said that the Switch 2 Pre-orders being delayed has nothing to do either with Trump. I should’ve had it pre-ordered today, but I couldn’t.
 
I hurt someone I care about (months ago), but they’re still the same sweet person they were before everything went down, and they still care enough about me to wait with my friend while she was looking for me. God, I don’t deserve them
 
Misty update: She is likely coming home tonight or tomorrow. The tech called and said Misty’s been eating, walking, responding to chin-scratches, etc. Her blood pressure was a bit high, too, so she’s taking meds for that in addition to her usual thyroid pills.
This was a relief to hear! Finn will also be happy to see his sister.
Misty is BACK! 😻 She doesn’t like the IV bandage, or not being able to go in the basement, but otherwise she seems like herself.
 
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