What's Bothering You?

Going through a pretty bad depressive episode at the minute.. filled with anxiety and self doubt and just general feelings of sadness. I can always tell when it happens because my sense of cleanliness just goes out of the window. I change my bedding every Wednesday and it’s Friday night and I’ve still not done it. There’s crap everywhere but I just can’t bring myself to touch it. I also have so much work to do but no idea how to even start, I can barely concentrate. Also the usual ways I distract myself (gaming, watching YouTube/twitch) just isn’t really interesting me and I’ve been lying staring into space and disassociating for hours. Just having a bit of a rough time at the minute.
 
your professor sounds like an ass. i’m really sorry that you had to deal with him; school is ridiculously difficult when you have mental health struggles and that isn’t your fault at all. thank you so much for the support, too; i really wasn’t expecting it to be as hard as it was but i suppose that’s on me for taking a university-level course lmao.

i hope tomorrow goes well for you! i know how brutal family time can be and i’m sending many well wishes your way :)
 
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Corporatism is ****ing disgusting. I don’t care if the Trump or Biden administration passes this bill. Just pass it and take a stand against this literal ****ing genocide.
 
Why can't you just ever stop plummeting my mood? Why doesn't the family take my side? Why are they siding with someone who goes after not just me, but every other person in the house? I need to be doing stuff, but I'm not in the mood. There's finals and assignments, but I'm not doing so hot. Car broke down, so I'm stuck in the house. I don't like it here.
 
My Precalculus teacher doesn't give that many examples in math and its frustrating.
 
my stomach has been feeling sickish the past couple of days. :c it keeps coming and going away mostly in the evening.
 
I’ve been having to use the family trailer to talk on the phone because the house I’m staying in is too noisy. Sadly one of my moms sleeps in there during the evening. I told her in advance about a particularly private call and she still barged in anyway. Now I don’t know where to talk to a certain person. Everywhere around the house is busy and my state’s back in shutdown. Do I scramble for a quiet park or do I just put up with potential interruptions and invasions of privacy?
 
I’ve been having to use the family trailer to talk on the phone because the house I’m staying in is too noisy. Sadly one of my moms sleeps in there during the evening. I told her in advance about a particularly private call and she still barged in anyway. Now I don’t know where to talk to a certain person. Everywhere around the house is busy and my state’s back in shutdown. Do I scramble for a quiet park or do I just put up with potential interruptions and invasions of privacy?
Wow that sounds incredibly irritating. I always hated how my parents never respected my privacy, and lock down definitely would make it harder. My mom would open my mail and look through my phone when I was sleeping when I was 18 no less. I told her how much it bothered me and I don't think I ever got it through her thick skull. I resorted to writing emails about sensitive subject because I knew she couldn't access them.
 
I have so many finals this week that I can barely keep up with and dealing with sadness doesn't help...
 
I felt nauseous today and you’d think when I tell my mom that or that when she’s hear me coughing since I’m getting a cough, she’d ask me how i am or if I am okay? no she just told me to take a bag in the car and get a drink. so you don’t care if i get my nieces sick? okay nice mom. and then there is my dad with his annoying cough that is due to being nervous and allergies but he refuses to take medicine. just stfu and stop lying to us about taking your medicine and lying to the doctors. and would love them to just be quiet right now. can we not talk about politics either?

Their hazelnut coffee’s smell really bothers me. ugh it makes me more nauseous.
 
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it's so wild cause tbh I only have like 3 finals, one of those being an actual exam, so I should just get them done right?

well my mind is so ****ed that I've barely started preparing for any of them. I have an art project due Tuesday morning and I haven't even started it yet. I think it's partly because I'm not at my dorm, it's super hard for me to focus at home (especially since I don't actually have a bedroom to go to.
lord pls let Friday come quickly.
 
My mom asks my dad a question and he is like what? in an aggravated tone. but when we sound even slightly annoyed even if we aren’t, he goes ballistic and starts yelling and if we yell he asks us what our problem is. my sister and brother in law started arguing a little and he huffs and is like i can’t take this. yet he lies and claims he has no anxiety. this is the same person who said my sister’s husband should divorce her. real nice.

my nieces call me meow meow but i hate when my dad refers to me as meow meow and i have told him to stop it repeatedly and he never listens. and the way he talks to the girls using a baby voice is so annoying and weird...
 
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i got this adorable cutie today after wanting it and the pink one for awhile. he was the last one in the store.
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buuuut the pink one was completely sold out in my store and online (and anywhere off their site is like way more costly) D'x i want both they're SO CUTE!!! i'm extremely grateful for being able to get one of them at least, but i'm really hoping i can find the pink one too. my mom might take me to check if a different store has the pink one c':>
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i'm gonna name them Holly (pink) and Jolly (turquoise) :3
 
i got this adorable cutie today after wanting it and the pink one for awhile. he was the last one in the store.
s-l300.jpg

buuuut the pink one was completely sold out in my store and online (and anywhere off their site is like way more costly) D'x i want both they're SO CUTE!!! i'm extremely grateful for being able to get one of them at least, but i'm really hoping i can find the pink one too. my mom might take me to check if a different store has the pink one c':>
s-l400.jpg

i'm gonna name them Holly (pink) and Jolly (turquoise) :3
they're gorgeous! During the holidays they will sell crazy
 
My dr called in the wrong proscription date and his office is closed till Monday. This will be great for studying for finals because I have a hard time waking up when I’m off my meds.
 
my friend on discord did a call w me so he could tell me a joke, and I'm so stupid I didn't understand the joke til he pasted it in our chat. I think it's hard for me to comprehend something like speech if I just listen to it, I understood the joke right away when I read it.

also that was the first time I did a call w him and I was internally flipping my **** and being overly anxious lol
 
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