Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021) ★★★
It's a popcorn movie.
3/5
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Wong's Voice: "What, you wanted more?"
Okay, so the first-half of the movie is just as bad as I had expected, your typical Disney Channel type of teen "awkward" humor. Most of the lame jokes you see in the trailer ("No, what's your REAL name, Doc Ock?") are actually in the movie. They were just as lame the first time I heard them, and I cringed hard when I heard them again in the movie, self-referential crap that isn't remotely clever, period.
It's just exhausting, really, this type of modern filmmaking that isn't really telling a story, but more to pander to fans in the sense of
"Hey, remember this! Haha, remember how silly it was? Let's poke fun of it." It's not even filmmaking; it's just making a profit.
But then there's the glorious second-half. Honestly though, the first-half was so bad I dropped my score from 3.5 stars to 3 stars, but the second-half is kinda worth it.
I'm someone who never liked Tom Holland's Spider-Man. It got to a point where I just gave up and accepted that this is a new generation of Spider-Man, and I'm just an out-of-touch old fart who should be just satisfied with my version of Spider-Man. But then, the second-half of the film brought back all the magic about Spidey that made me love him: the deaths, the heavy responsibility and burden Peter has to carry even though he's just a kid, the altruism that's all about saving lives over the big picture, the self-independence that comes with his "new home," and best of all... oh, I won't spoil it, but you'll like what they did with the costume at the very end. So good. It's like a return to classic. It's like a fresh start that feels so much like Kevin Feige finally starting the version of Spider-Man he wants to tell, as if Kevin Feige has finally managed to wrangle the creative rights from Avi Arad's grubby little hands. And yet they were still forced to worship Arad's egoistical arse by saying in the end credits,
"We're grateful to Avi Arad for all that he has done..." Yeah, all that he has done to ruin Spider-Man 3 and the Amazing movies by wanting to sell toys over a good story, you mean. Yeah, real good job there, Avi.
So yeah, much like Endgame, there's a lot of fanservice here. All your "theories" about fanservice stuff that might or might not happen... yeah, they'll happen. Wink. Freaking. Wink. I liked the fanservice, but man, this is just such a poor way of making a film. I want a good film and a good story, not fanservice. I didn't want my childhood to be a merchandise that's pandering to me as if I'm some seven year old child who needs candies; I want my childhood to be done justice in a tale well-told. But that's the reality of Hollywood movies, unfortunately.
They didn't bother to do enough with Otto and Norman. They tried, and they did some good stuff, but it still feels overstuffed even in a 2 hour and 28 minutes movie.
Oh, and the Matt Murdock's "cameo" sucks.
Sigh. Maybe the future will be better for MCU's Spidey, now that he seems to have a "Brand New Day" makeover, a fresh start with hopefully better and more dramatic stories, not Disney Channel level of humor and stakes.