That outdated fallacy stems from the fact that I have a rare genetic disease and cannot even with MA level degrees work in any capacity as I am ill but do still hope that not being able to bring in money doesn't make me less of a smart beautiful and loving person..like I said it's situational I suppose but I'd like to think that my illness isn't a deal breaker on being loved and having a family of my own..ok done but as I said it's situational if you do t know someone's situation whose to judge right off my opinion based on her story you judge me so Yes to communication is key
I can understand, but from my perspective, if I took someone out who had an illness, or something, and I knew they were making a similar amount (take home, not necessarily before taxes and bills) as I am, I would feel rude by simply expecting they can't afford it.
I do not think someone who *can't* pay is undesirable necessarily. I will agree with you in a half-way, if one party can't pay, they shouldn't be expected to. In that instance, I'm *not* going to run around spending a ton of money (one because that would make ME feel bad if someone did that to me, and two because I'd rather have fun AND be equal), but rather come up with ideas that don't cost a fortune.
Dinner and a movie, for example, can run almost $100 depending on where you live, even at 10.50 an hour which isn't great but not bad for an early twenty something to be starting at, that's almost 1/3rd of a paycheck. So I guess for me the question is: Is one date worth roughly 13.333 hours of my time in work alone? No. That doesn't mean the person I want to SEE isn't worth my time, but on a first date, how much am I supposed to put in? 1 hour to get ready (shower, get dressed, and actually go), 2-4 hours actually there (the fun part!), and 13 hours of my work week paying it off?
Alternatively, a home-cooked meal (which I am excellent at, learned from my father!), a bottle of wine, and a movie at home, costs under $30. That seems more reasonable for 2-5 hours of enjoying someones company.
I will say that I do not like the 'privilege' that some girls express though. I understand the logic behind "If you ask, you pay" but somehow it feels like what they're saying is, really, "You want to spend time with me, you pay for that time." In my mind, if that person doesn't also want to get to know me enough to pay, then it's already not worth my time (or money).
Again, I'm not saying that if someone can't pay they shouldn't have someone, or deserve things, but how about, just for a second, we consider this:
If you can't pay, we'll stay in. If I can't pay, we'll stay in. Even IF the other COULD pay, unless mutually agreed upon. No social contract nonsense (since we don't all agree on that either!
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