Do your parents spy on you?

[moonford]

No, my Mum actual understands I like to keep some things private. If your parents spy on you their weirdos.

And if they spy on you, they obviously don't trust you and this backfires on them.

 

[Bloody_House]

Why woul parents spy on you?? >_>

 

[namiieco]

no

well i hope not

 

[Liamslash]

My parents come in my room to check I'm asleep and I sleep naked, does this count?

 

[visibleghost]

yes. mostly my mom. she has been doing it for years and idk how to make her stop tbh because i have really told her to stop but she keeps doing it because she "is worried" .

 

[Soigne]

They do but not like going through my bedroom snooping, they want to know who I'm talking to & what I'm saying & what pictures I have saved on my phone like ok does it concern you though??????? no.

 

[piichinu]

my mom used to

 

[Alienfish]

Not really, I mean mom sometimes try "understanding" what I do but tbh I'm p much only on Steam and here let alone a few websites, I mean I don't porn surf or anything, and would I look at more skimpy stuff in general I don't do it when they are home lol.

 

[Fleshy]

no, my mum never has, she'll just ask if she's worried or wants to know something

 

[amanda1983]

No they didn't when I was a child or a teen and certainly won't start now that they are grandparents lol. Both of our parents always held the firm stance that their role as parents is to help us grow up to be good, healthy, happy, respectful, honest adults who are productive members of society.. None of those things are encouraged by having parents who feel a "need" to snoop/spy/interrogate their child. As both mum and dad came from families where their parents were definitely over-bearing and lacked respectful boundaries towards their children, they were united in their goal of building trusting, respectful relationships with me and my 3 sisters. I can't say they entirely succeeded on that score but they did try, and they never once crossed that line to try and invade our personal privacy.

The internet age has raised the stakes of childish mistakes as photographic evidence is so easily taken and shared, but that is absolutely no excuse to go through a child's belongings in search of evidence of wrongdoing.. that's just wrong-headed and utterly counterproductive to the point of parenting. Really, the only parents who should be *that* worried about what their kids are up to are those that don't actually put the time and effort into maintaining a trusting, respectful relationship..

 

[tybalt_cake]

Why woul parents spy on you?? >_>

my dad does <_<

 

[Alienfish]

Although I think my dad tried when I was younger for like no reason.. like yeah I went on some more forums and such but eh tbh just talk to me directly rather than sneak around with your softwares...

 

[KaydeeKrunk]

Not often, I mean my mom always wants to come in my room to see how messy it is, my room, that me and my boyfriend pay like 600$ in rent for... but yeah she tries to pry in if the door isn't shut all the way so we always have to lock is so she wont go snooping... Like damn it woman I am 23 years old and pay you for this room, at the very least let it be mine.

 

[Alienfish]

Not often, I mean my mom always wants to come in my room to see how messy it is, my room, that me and my boyfriend pay like 600$ in rent for... but yeah she tries to pry in if the door isn't shut all the way so we always have to lock is so she wont go snooping... Like damn it woman I am 23 years old and pay you for this room, at the very least let it be mine.

holy **** that rent but yeah my mom can try being that and i'm like bruh, get a life. i mean i might have some of mine online because yeee and i don't really go look in your phones or stuff?

 

[Mega_Cabbage]

Not really. They just ask me what I'm doing on my phone/computer. Usually I'm just reading, watching game channels on youtube, or playing games anyway. We watch Impractical Jokers together, so I don't think they're worried about me hearing curse words. They're probably just worried about nudity.

 

[visibleghost]

lol the funny thing about my mom is that she says she does it because she's worried and she had "no other choice" because i "won't speak" to her .

if her wish had been that i would feel like i was able to trust her and open up to her she shouldn't have kept breaking my trust lmao.

her snooping has made me trust ppl in general way less and it has made me hide things a lot more.

like, if i'm going out and my mom is home i make sure that i bring stuff i don't want her snooping around in (like notebooks etc) with me, or at least put them somewhere hard-ish to find. i sometimes put things in a special way so i can recognize if they have been moved, or i put the door to my room in a certain position so i can see if it has been moved when i come home.

online i make sure to not use the same usernames in a lot of places. i stopped linking my other social media accounts for a while too hahah. actually, the reason i changed my username on tbt is because my mom had been snooping in my stuff and found a thing out and i wasn't sure where she had found it at first, so it made me change a bunch of usernames and delete a bunch of stuff lmaooo.
but my mom has known about a twitter with the same username as the one i had on here before so yeah.

alsooo i have my settings so my history and stuff is cleaned after every session in my browser. my phone isn't very well protected but i always keep it close to me so i don't worry too much about that.

and my mom has taken stuff from my room while snooping soo many times. most of the time it has been things i "used to self harm with" (many of them i didn't, like, she took all my ****ing scissors when i was 12 and she found out i was cutting and i haven't kept a scissor in my room since. i never cut myself with scissors.)
funnily enough she never took any pencil sharpeners which is what i used for years but yeah okay mom. andddd last year she snooped through a bunch of stuff and took, like, uh maybe 7 blades in total???

honestly i think my mom's snooping has made me more afraid than i need to be of certain things. like, i don't use the spotify or netflix account we share a lot because i don't want her to be able to see my history or what i watch/listen to. whiiich doesn't make a lot of sense really because i don't have anything to actually hide there, but i just can't trust her so uh :^)

i really don't think snooping is good. it ruins your child's trust for you as a parent. i am always aware of things my mom does around me and my things. i always think twice about what i do with my things because i'm afraid of her snooping hahah.

and the excuse "well if you're worried about your child sometimes you have to snoop!!!" Yeah Alright ????? but no?? my mom has justified her snooping with the fact that i'm mentally ill af and never talk to her about it. but as a parent you do not go into your child's computer or diary or things to find out stuff that you know your child wants to keep from you.
there is a reason to why children hide things from their parents. it can be hard to talk about. they might know that their parent will handle it poorly af. they might be scared, embarrassed, or just really not want you to find out about it.

basically, if you want to have an open and honest relationship with your child, don't break their trust by repeatedly going through their stuff because they "just won't talk to" you. and maybeeeeeee think about whether you might be the reason for them not talking to u . !!!!!

 

[Tensu]

yes. they will probably read this post in a few hours

 

[Espionage]

Nope, both parents are dead unfortunately so I'm an orphan however I'm 31 so even if my parents were alive, they never spied unless they 'over heard' something lol.

 

[Alienfish]

@len: yeah my mom is a huge blabbermouth and i wish i could talk to her more and trust her but she really go tell everyone so it's like.. can you stop doing that cause they always go back to me afterwards :/ same with my cousins, i can't really tell them heavy stuff cause I know they will either go tell like my dad or anyone relative so yeah please shut it.

 

[visibleghost]

@len: yeah my mom is a huge blabbermouth and i wish i could talk to her more and trust her but she really go tell everyone so it's like.. can you stop doing that cause they always go back to me afterwards :/ same with my cousins, i can't really tell them heavy stuff cause I know they will either go tell like my dad or anyone relative so yeah please shut it.

yeah, in my experience parents usually blame their children for not talking with them, but usually the parent is the one at fault. if you show that you can't be trusted (by doing stuff like snooping, making fun of your kid, talking about their secrets to everyone etc) it, surprise, won't make your children want to talk to you about more serious issues anymore !!