feeling awkward after trades and adoptions...am i the only one?

[zato]

I think for me since I've done so many trades (in NL and NH), knowing exactly what will happen helps a lot. I have anxiety too, and whenever I have to do something in real life that makes me anxious, I like to research it or plan it out in my head beforehand so I have a general idea of what is going to happen. For AC trades, its easy- arrival, greeting, transaction, thank you, goodbye. And that's it! You can keep it short and sweet, or you can add other comments like, "I like your entrance," or fly over, etc. Also remember you can always say no if someone asks to visit your shops by saying something like "sorry I'm in a rush!" or "sorry I'm busy irl!" or something. And also like I said before, people are likely thinking about their next trade rather than thinking about you specifically.

Also random addition- something that helped me overcome anxiety provoking situations in real life was reminding myself that "it doesn't have to be so bad." Most of the time when I am anxious about something, I really work myself up which adds to my growing anxiety, and reminding myself that I am the one making myself feel this way (making my heart race, hands shake, etc) really helps adds perspective to the situation, meaning the situation itself isn't making me feel this way, I am making myself anxious. Does that make sense? Lol

omg thank you for this. not only in game but for irl too. ugh i needed this advice bad. despite making a few in NL and being fine NH has tossed me though a loop for some reason.

 

[Katzenjammer]

I'm pretty much with @zato aside from the fact that I do tend to overthink things and often wonder if I tipped enough or if I don't tip, I feel bad even if it's free, etc. I just hope I never make anyone feel uncomfortable or anything somehow.

 

[Mikaiah]

You're probably overthinking it, but I understand the occasional confusion. I prefer to let people shop at their own pace (if you come buy stuff/pickup from me you're always free to shop stores! xD)

though I make it clear for certain things like NPC visits with a lot of people queued, I tell people to come in and out through airport asap just so I can get through more people.

but for normal trades I don't have a ton of people waiting usually so idm letting you hang around

for context though, a lot of us really don't mind! Don't worry so much and just have fun (I totally understand anxiety though, I get anxious myself and need a lot of deep breaths to calm down)

 

[Nougat]

Just wanted to comfort you that I sometimes also end the session while the other person is walking back to the station, just because I'm too lazy to go and end the session after they've left. It has nothing to do with the trader and it's definitely not awkward! I do try to type that I'll end, but when I'm not in handheld mode typing is so slow. Hope that makes you feel better

 

[zato]

You're probably overthinking it, but I understand the occasional confusion. I prefer to let people shop at their own pace (if you come buy stuff/pickup from me you're always free to shop stores! xD)

though I make it clear for certain things like NPC visits with a lot of people queued, I tell people to come in and out through airport asap just so I can get through more people.

but for normal trades I don't have a ton of people waiting usually so idm letting you hang around

for context though, a lot of us really don't mind! Don't worry so much and just have fun (I totally understand anxiety though, I get anxious myself and need a lot of deep breaths to calm down)

very true lolz i do it alot. i don't mind the boot but it's the timing of it that always knocks me i guess. i just gotta get used to it again like in NL.

 

[Mick]

I'm not usually bothered by trading. I did it a lot for New Leaf, and again in this game, some trades are more awkward than others (it does help when you're dealing with experienced traders) but that's just part of the way the system works!

I usually just announce that I will be leaving, and start moving towards the airport while still trying to stay within the borders of the other person's screen. I know some people don't like it when you run off on them, so I either wait for them to guide me back, or until they run off in another direction with some kind of goodbye, or until they just plain kick me out. I don't really care which of the three ends up happening, they all work for me - and I haven't had complaints yet!

It helps if you have the app to type so you can just communicate quickly. You can just throw in a quick "Do I go back now?" and the other person will know exactly what you want to do next.

 

[loveclove]

start to walk back to the airport in thinking ok time to go i got my stuff said thanks it's time to leave only to get sent home mid walk. idk if they think i'm gonna run off and do something or what...

Don't feel bad about this, I'm sure it was not you and i don't think the person thought you were going to do anything, some people just end the session in the - button instead of letting the person go to the airport because it's easier, you don't have to wait the loading screen and after go to the airport to close the gates, it does it all at once. I used to think this was rude until I understood why it's done. Now I even do it myself sometimes after we've said goodbye when I'm in a hurry and need to wrap up faster

 

[TheSillyPuppy]

lolz in all fairness i 100% identify more with Canadians despite being a American cracker mutt (mainly irish) tbh no Canadian blood sadly i wish though.

weird thing is i've done quite a bit of trades on NL with no problems but idk why but NH feels different when i do trades.

Hehe, my parents are first-generation immigrants, but I grew up in Canada, so I mainly identify as a Canadian. XD I frequently wonder how these broad stroke generalizations about a group of people affect our individual psyches... but that is a question and discussion for psychologists and sociologists.

This is my first AC game -- I would assume (correct me if I'm wrong) that the trading mechanic isn't identical. Situations that are new to me definitely raise my anxiety levels, and from the sounds of it, you're already planning ahead and doing what you can to ensure successful and smooth trades -- which is the best that you can. Easier said than done, as I also make myself more anxious with my meta-anxiety (anxiety about being anxious, if that makes sense XD). I think @sleepydreepy and @Pintuition both outlined good processes for trading for when you're visiting or hosting, respectively!

 

[zato]

Don't feel bad about this, I'm sure it was not you and i don't think the person thought you were going to do anything, some people just end the session in the - button instead of letting the person go to the airport because it's easier, you don't have to wait the loading screen and after go to the airport to close the gates, it does it all at once. I used to think this was rude until I understood why it's done. Now I even do it myself sometimes after we've said goodbye when I'm in a hurry and need to wrap up faster

i mean i knew people did it to be fast but oh wow did not know it was that fast and did all that...dang lolz now i know why. thanks for letting me know about it cuz i had no clue tbh. that is a useful tool.

 

[Stil]

Just sounds like a social anxiety

 

[zato]

Hehe, my parents are first-generation immigrants, but I grew up in Canada, so I mainly identify as a Canadian. XD I frequently wonder how these broad stroke generalizations about a group of people affect our individual psyches... but that is a question and discussion for psychologists and sociologists.

This is my first AC game -- I would assume (correct me if I'm wrong) that the trading mechanic isn't identical. Situations that are new to me definitely raise my anxiety levels, and from the sounds of it, you're already planning ahead and doing what you can to ensure successful and smooth trades -- which is the best that you can. Easier said than done, as I also make myself more anxious with my meta-anxiety (anxiety about being anxious, if that makes sense XD). I think @sleepydreepy and @Pintuition both outlined good processes for trading for when you're visiting or hosting, respectively!

lolz true. the human mind is a weird thing.

oh wow yeah kinda in NL we had a train and still had the "boot/send home" option but even when you got sent home you still had the train animation of leaving. (didn't make anything faster that i know of just made sure people didn't trample your flowers ect. as they didn't grow back once killed) but yeah i think i was just so used to the old one that the new one kinda just off put my system (mind)

 

[Chris]

I typically warn people in advance that I most likely won't type in-game and I won't hold their hand. By that I mean I trust them to come in, do what they need to do, and leave again without me needing to escort or observe them. That way they're aware that a lack of communication is to be expected and they shouldn't just stand around waiting to see whether or not I'm going to end the session.

 

[Mikaiah]

oh right, I also hate typing in game (yes, yes I know I could connect a bluetooth keyboard or use my phone app) so if I'm just responding via reactions/etc that's probably why lol

but nowadays I mostly just leave my switch open on the table and people can come/go as they want

 

[*The Oakboro Mayor*]

Yeah, I usually feel awkward leaving! I sometimes get people who don’t want to talk because they can’t type that quickly, and I’m totally fine with that! I am by no means a fast typer in-game, so I know the feeling. I usually say “hello!” and “see you!” after transactions, but that’s about it. I feel bad kicking people and I don’t, but when people kick me I feel a little bad or I did something wrong. I know that’s just my anxiety talking but I always have that little voice that wonders if I rubbed them the wrong way during a trade. The walk to the airport is always weird too because I never know if they want me to say something and I don’t want to miss a message. Maybe I’m just an anxiety ridden person but those are my feelings!!

 

[Nicole.]

Ah I used to boot people off after my last trade since it’s easier to end session than to go back to the airport and close the gate >_< but I also stopped once I saw people were unhappy by it or I let them know ahead of time!

I normally do it too at the end of a trade simply because I find that it just saves us both time but never imagined it upsetting people. I may think twice now before ending a session.

 

[Aurita]

I normally do it too at the end of a trade simply because I find that it just saves us both time but never imagined it upsetting people. I may think twice now before ending a session.

Yeah me too! I just let them know ahead of time so that they know it’s not bc of any ill feelings but bc I’m just lazy haha

 

[wanderlust//]

It’s usually not awkward but since typing is a bit hard sometimes I talk too slow and then it gets kind of awkward lol.

 

[Sharksheep]

I've done too many trades. I prefer it when people come and leave right away and not shop. I tend to have a lot of trades back to back and I won't want to keep other people waiting

 

[tybalt_cake]

not really , almost all of my trades are really quick and fluid

 

[Uffe]

I've only felt awkward twice. One was when I was getting some items I didn't have yet. The person was going to press the minus button and I told them not to do that. I wanted to give a reason, but I don't type fast enough in this game as I would be able to on websites. The second time I've felt awkward was pretty recently. I was given Biff for free. As much as I appreciated finally being able to adopt Biff to move onto my island, it just didn't feel right not paying up. Even when I gave TBT to this person, they ended up giving it back to me. Don't get me wrong, it's great that I was able to get Biff for free, but still, I kind of felt awkward about it.