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As you said, it depends on what the opposing view is. If it's something that's seriously against my values, I can be nice to them but I can't be friends with them. I won't be rude to them, just keep a distance between us.
How do you feel about making friends with opposing or different beliefs?
- Thread starter Croconaw
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Jacob
Senior Member
I'm tolerant to opposing beliefs, but a quick overview of my friends will show that I'm rarely close with people who don't share my interests and opinions. Not something I actively try to do though
Weebgirlstan
i like ice cream
its fine by me as long as its not offensive to me for example racism or sexuality but i do not care if they have a belief in like Christianity or stuff like that but if your one of those Christians who believe in like all lgbtq ppl should go to hell then no.
TheWildShadow55
Professional Phone Hoarder
My stance in this thread has been stated again and again here already, so I'll keep it brief.
I'm fully capable of being friends with someone who doesn't necessarily agree with some of the things I do, like I do have some religious friends (I am not religious) and people who don't have the same political views as me, but I cannot tolerate people who are anti-science, "pro-life", homophobic, racist, etc. Those things completely go against my moral compass and I wouldn't dare be associated with someone who has those kind of stances.
I'm fully capable of being friends with someone who doesn't necessarily agree with some of the things I do, like I do have some religious friends (I am not religious) and people who don't have the same political views as me, but I cannot tolerate people who are anti-science, "pro-life", homophobic, racist, etc. Those things completely go against my moral compass and I wouldn't dare be associated with someone who has those kind of stances.
tomatospooks666
Senior Member
yeah, things like lgbt rights and black rights are just basic human rights, and i couldn't and wouldn't associate with people who things basic human rights are something up for debate.
not to keep this thing going/revive a dead convo, but it's not really lgbt peeps job to prove we're normal people anyhow. we shouldn't have to make everybody act squeaky clean and family friendly to be treated with decency.
instead of asking "why does there have to be LEWD at PRIDE???" maybe we should ask "why does a normal human activity make people think it's okay to be jerks?", but that's just my two cents.
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not to keep this thing going/revive a dead convo, but it's not really lgbt peeps job to prove we're normal people anyhow. we shouldn't have to make everybody act squeaky clean and family friendly to be treated with decency.
instead of asking "why does there have to be LEWD at PRIDE???" maybe we should ask "why does a normal human activity make people think it's okay to be jerks?", but that's just my two cents.
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-Lumi-
❄️ Snowy Lesbian!! ❄️
I'll echo the same sentiment that many others have said - it depends on the beliefs. I also think there's a difference between being friends with somebody and simply being civil with them.
I will not befriend somebody who holds beliefs that actively go against another persons right to live a happy, safe, and fulfilled life. That being said, that doesn't mean I am going to be hateful towards them. I've worked with homophobic people in the past, as well as sexist people - pretty run of the mill stuff when you live in a small town. I didn't bring it upon myself to try and educate them because frankly, that's not my job and I don't want the stress of it. But I did have to work with those people so I would be civil enough to get the job done but I wouldn't hang out with them outside of work.
I feel the same way about somebody who is outwardly a bigot vs somebody who "keeps the beliefs to themselves". I don't want to be friends with a homophobic person regardless of whether they're outwardly homophobic or if it's that they secretly believe I'm going to hell but that I "have the right to live that lifestyle," so they never mention it to me. Both stances bother me and while yes, you can argue that the quieter person isn't doing as much harm they both still hold the same harmful beliefs.
However, it's different if I've been friends with somebody my whole life, I come out as gay, and they're unsure of how they feel about it. As mentioned before, I live in a small town. A fairly religious town. It's not out of the ordinary for people to have been raised around homophobic views. If my friend is on the fence on how they feel about LGBT+ matters than I will gladly talk about it with them! As long as that's what they want/they've shown a willingness to hear my side of things. But I won't go befriending the town homophobe who wears the, "all gays are going to hell," t-shirt because I know that's going to cause me more grief than it's worth.
Things like religion (so long as they aren't using their religion as a reason to be a bigot), whether or not they're a vegetarian/vegan, whether or not they only use cruelty free makeup/skincare products, etc. though don't affect my friendships with people at all! As long as a persons personal beliefs aren't harming somebody it's not a big deal to me.
I will not befriend somebody who holds beliefs that actively go against another persons right to live a happy, safe, and fulfilled life. That being said, that doesn't mean I am going to be hateful towards them. I've worked with homophobic people in the past, as well as sexist people - pretty run of the mill stuff when you live in a small town. I didn't bring it upon myself to try and educate them because frankly, that's not my job and I don't want the stress of it. But I did have to work with those people so I would be civil enough to get the job done but I wouldn't hang out with them outside of work.
I feel the same way about somebody who is outwardly a bigot vs somebody who "keeps the beliefs to themselves". I don't want to be friends with a homophobic person regardless of whether they're outwardly homophobic or if it's that they secretly believe I'm going to hell but that I "have the right to live that lifestyle," so they never mention it to me. Both stances bother me and while yes, you can argue that the quieter person isn't doing as much harm they both still hold the same harmful beliefs.
However, it's different if I've been friends with somebody my whole life, I come out as gay, and they're unsure of how they feel about it. As mentioned before, I live in a small town. A fairly religious town. It's not out of the ordinary for people to have been raised around homophobic views. If my friend is on the fence on how they feel about LGBT+ matters than I will gladly talk about it with them! As long as that's what they want/they've shown a willingness to hear my side of things. But I won't go befriending the town homophobe who wears the, "all gays are going to hell," t-shirt because I know that's going to cause me more grief than it's worth.
Things like religion (so long as they aren't using their religion as a reason to be a bigot), whether or not they're a vegetarian/vegan, whether or not they only use cruelty free makeup/skincare products, etc. though don't affect my friendships with people at all! As long as a persons personal beliefs aren't harming somebody it's not a big deal to me.
Friends? Sure. I wouldn't be able to have a relationship with someone with very different views to mine, that wouldn't work at all, but if I was to decide to only be friends with people who thought exactly like I did, I would just be creating an echo chamber and that's not something I can enjoy or learn from.
I'm far more likely to be friends with someone for their sense of humour or dependability than their political leanings. It's more about their overall character. Obviously someone being openly deliberately hateful towards a minority group isn't likely to be of great character in the first place. But people who simply disagree on politics? They can definitely be friends, because there's more to a friendship than just agreeing all the time and more to a person than their personal views on things.
I'm far more likely to be friends with someone for their sense of humour or dependability than their political leanings. It's more about their overall character. Obviously someone being openly deliberately hateful towards a minority group isn't likely to be of great character in the first place. But people who simply disagree on politics? They can definitely be friends, because there's more to a friendship than just agreeing all the time and more to a person than their personal views on things.
AgentBlade
Proud member of the Crystal Ballers
If someone I know was like this I would delete them from my mind unless their my best friends but I can’t forget people I see everyday just despise them and yell at them in my thoughts and it’s bad because I do this to most of my family being against LGBT people and that I can’t talk to anyone except people online about myself it’s sad.
coldpotato
Senior Member
For me, no, it usually does not work out. Not because I've never been open to it or don't try to keep things respectful, but since the opposing views to mine are usually some form of hate and the other person tries to convince me to be as hateful as them, it's just not a fun friendship to be in, and not a good person for me to be around.
I think people are entitled to their own views and opinions regarding every subject. I wouldn't necessarily seek out a friendship with them if they were different to mine, but as long as they were expressing their views in a respectful and civil manner, I would be able to tolerate it.
ChocoPie22
🍫Choco from Chiokera🍫
It depends on what the topic is and how much they show that they are on that side, if I know that they are like that, but they don't talk about it then it is sort of okay. But if it's something like LGBT or a group that I'm personally part of I can't be friends with them.
g u a v a
bonk fruit
the way i see it you can have close friendships with people with differing opinions. usually this makes for a richer relationship as you can both stand to learn from each other.
there are definitely issues that are incompatible as some have mentioned previously on the thread, and that's just a personal matter of where you draw the line. still, i think it's important (especially nowadays) to foster relationships with people who you don't always agree with because we are so accustomed to living in our own echo chambers.
there are definitely issues that are incompatible as some have mentioned previously on the thread, and that's just a personal matter of where you draw the line. still, i think it's important (especially nowadays) to foster relationships with people who you don't always agree with because we are so accustomed to living in our own echo chambers.
EmmaFrost
matryoshka
I wouldn’t choose to be friends with anyone who votes for politicians that seek to hinder rights of marginalized groups. I can accept difference but not when it harms me or people I’m close to.
idiotdoomspiral
=__=
Idk. I'll ask myself why do they have these views? If theyre ignorant, can they be guided in some way? If i see someone capable of change with some other redeemable qualities i would probably be friends with them, yea. But it's not that simple for me either. Would i be friends with a proud tory? Since their likely viewpoint and vote goes to making my and the rest of my family's lives more miserable, probably not. I don't think we would find much common ground based on that alone. I want to be optimistic about ppl because back then mind was changed on things as there were ppl in my life who were willing to listen to my garbage and guide me, i would have never experienced so much political growth otherwise. They were never obligated to but they did it for me because they were my friends! I will be super thankful for it forever. If they werent around i probably still wouldve been a "i support equal rights but im not a filthy SJW!!!" kind of dude, into adulthood .............. Keeps me up at night thinking abt it sometimes
I come from a place where i watched the online friends that i basically grew up with gradually deteriorate into alt-right nutcases (some of them recovered eventually, some of them did not). They had a ton of my personal information and eventually used it against me so it was difficult to dissociate from them. When i did i faced Da Consequences but they stopped caring about me eventually and left me alone lolol. So for a while i was strongly against being around ppl with the slightest of differences. Ive come to realize that this newer mindset can be pretty unhealthy tho. I don't agree with my friends on various bits of discourse all of the time and so far it's a complete non-issue. I don't like being in spaces where everyone is inclined to agree with eachother on literally Everything anyway.
I come from a place where i watched the online friends that i basically grew up with gradually deteriorate into alt-right nutcases (some of them recovered eventually, some of them did not). They had a ton of my personal information and eventually used it against me so it was difficult to dissociate from them. When i did i faced Da Consequences but they stopped caring about me eventually and left me alone lolol. So for a while i was strongly against being around ppl with the slightest of differences. Ive come to realize that this newer mindset can be pretty unhealthy tho. I don't agree with my friends on various bits of discourse all of the time and so far it's a complete non-issue. I don't like being in spaces where everyone is inclined to agree with eachother on literally Everything anyway.
if someone has beliefs i strongly disagree with i am not privy to being friends with them. it's different when it's someone in high school or maybe someone at your job (and even family members), where you kind of just have to tolerate them and not discuss these topics. there are many beliefs that, no matter how kind a person may be, i do not feel comfortable being around. if someone's racist, homo/transphobic, antisemitic, etc. i just cannot be your friend. if anyone has beliefs that reject the agency and basic human rights of other human beings based on something they cannot control, then they do not have my respect.
when it comes to other types of human rights, say abortion and death penalty, i'm a bit more lenient. i have my own opinions on these things and like with anything, i get along best with those who share my opinion. but if someone has differing opinions that's fine by me, so long as they are respectful if the topic's brought up. for example, if someone's stance on abortion was "to me that's taking a life and i don't believe it's right" i'd be like sure thing you do you. but if someone were to instead say "abortion is murder and wrong and everyone who's ever gotten one is going to hell" that's... a different story.
tl;dr it's not preferred and will definitely not be friends with someone if they are against certain things such as blm and lgbt lives, but there are other topics that are a bit more nuanced that i can "agree to disagree" on so long as they are respectful about it. though there are times like at work where you have to get along with people regardless and just try to avoid these topics altogether :]
when it comes to other types of human rights, say abortion and death penalty, i'm a bit more lenient. i have my own opinions on these things and like with anything, i get along best with those who share my opinion. but if someone has differing opinions that's fine by me, so long as they are respectful if the topic's brought up. for example, if someone's stance on abortion was "to me that's taking a life and i don't believe it's right" i'd be like sure thing you do you. but if someone were to instead say "abortion is murder and wrong and everyone who's ever gotten one is going to hell" that's... a different story.
tl;dr it's not preferred and will definitely not be friends with someone if they are against certain things such as blm and lgbt lives, but there are other topics that are a bit more nuanced that i can "agree to disagree" on so long as they are respectful about it. though there are times like at work where you have to get along with people regardless and just try to avoid these topics altogether :]
Damniel
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if it’s a topic that means a lot to me that the person has a fundamentally different perspective on, I couldn’t be friends with them. Sure we could talk about other things and avoid that topic, but i think it would always just be an awkward part of the friendship that couldn’t be ignored
obviously i could be cordial with someone in that case, but a deep connection with them just can’t happen. the great thing about friends is that you don’t have to force it. i’d rather find people who I could be comfortable with sharing my beliefs with
obviously i could be cordial with someone in that case, but a deep connection with them just can’t happen. the great thing about friends is that you don’t have to force it. i’d rather find people who I could be comfortable with sharing my beliefs with
Honestly I think this idea that someone’s worldview would make you not associate with them is basically what drives extremism. We end up with insular communities that become echo chambers for far right or far left views.
I’ve actually been pleasantly surprised when I’ve made friends with people whose views I initially found offensive. I can still connect with them in many ways and see their humanity. Ultimately we can form a relationship where we’re comfortable sharing even controversial things with each other and learn from each other.
I’ve actually been pleasantly surprised when I’ve made friends with people whose views I initially found offensive. I can still connect with them in many ways and see their humanity. Ultimately we can form a relationship where we’re comfortable sharing even controversial things with each other and learn from each other.
Balverine
i can be a werewolf if you want me to
I couldn't be friends with someone who was against LGBT+/BLM/etc, but as far as different religious/political views, I could do that as long as they weren't radical about it lol
for example; my best friend practices Native American beliefs (her father was apart of the Illinois tribe), whereas I am agnostic. We get along extremely well, and are very respectful of each other's beliefs
and on the same hand, her husband practices some Celtic beliefs, and they have no issues with each other
for example; my best friend practices Native American beliefs (her father was apart of the Illinois tribe), whereas I am agnostic. We get along extremely well, and are very respectful of each other's beliefs
and on the same hand, her husband practices some Celtic beliefs, and they have no issues with each other
Envy
Crazy Woodwind Lady
Well, yes, oftentimes people of differing religious beliefs can coexist. Someone with different religious beliefs from me can still be a very moral person. I may find their religious beliefs to be nonsensical, but as long as they aren't trying to enshrine them in law and aren't bigots we're likely going to get along just fine.
However, I do think there are times where this could cause issues. For example, I don't think I would want to date a devout Christian. Even if I have determined that despite that, they are a good, moral person. The reason being that because I'm a non-believer, if they really loved me, that would weigh on their mind. They would be worried about the fate of me in the afterlife, that I wouldn't be there with them. This could lead to proselytizing, which despite me not being able to blame them when it's that genuine, would create a rift. Also, I just wouldn't like that weighing on their mind even if they didn't express it, because they're going to worry forever.
It's for that reason that I'm not public about being an atheist and my parents don't even know.
(And honestly, if it wasn't weighing on a devout Christian's mind, could I even trust that they actually care about me? It's a very bad position to be in, one way or another)
