How do you meet friends/people in general?

[Croconaw]

I’m just curious how you personally go about meeting new people? As someone who doesn’t use any of the big social media, I don’t typically have the resources others do. I jump around from time to time in Discord servers and communicate with others, but I’ve never formed any friendships on there.

I’m pretty sure most of my online friendships were made using forums. Aside from that, I do talk to a good bit of people in real life, but I’ve only formed friendships with very few. Do you go out of your way to seek friendships with people or let them come to you?

Asking out of curiosity, but mainly because I want to know if it’s worth going out of your way to seek friendships. The people that I consider myself closest to were actually people I met while living my life. I didn’t necessarily seek them out, and it seems to me that maybe it’s better to just let things happen.

 

[Firesquids]

I also am not a big user of social media, it became a way for discommunicated family members to watch me, so I deleted and privated all of my accounts. I usually end up meeting new people through mutual friends. I know I can be a lot, and some people have a hard time with that, but I don't feel like acting like something I'm not. Throughout my life I tend to find myself in one sided relationships where I end up caring more about them than they do about me. I'm tired of feeling like the only one who's putting effort into the friendship, but even still I desperately long for a truly close friend. On that note, I have been low-key forcing myself to reach out lately and I think it's working? I've made a couple new friends and hung out with/texted some old friends. I think it's worth reaching out to new people, you never know what they might be like. Maybe there's a bestie out there for all of us, maybe not. But I just gotta keep trying!

 

[Fullmetalwwant]

Man, before it was school many eons ago for me, my closest friend group I have now I've known for almost 15 years. Today it's more from other friends meeting up or from work I meet new people

 

[Alienfish]

At work more or less it's like the only real life social stuff I do unless with already met friends lol.

And yeah online on forums on discord be it they live across either ocean, lol so it's a small chance we never meet but hey they're still friends.

 

[Aria Nook Violet]

I am not the right person to give advise on this since I had bad luck with the few friendship I "had" (that ended up being all fake friends) so I'm more curious to know how others met people mainly as a young adult and not at school anymore. What I hear people say on the internet is when you become an adult you won't meet new people and the people you do meet are either from work or from school. I never had any friends in school and I am now in a better space away from bullying but while searching for friendship as an adult I learned the sad true when you actively go searching for friends that it never ends well. I joined a group to meet people irl (as in friendship not romantic ones) but I was "seduced" by a guy into a toxic manipulative relationship and I only now start to realize how carefully he was isolating me from the other people in the group (I didn't lose much since most of them were guys with other problems anyway). That group was a mess as right after I stopped hanging with them it was disbanded. The toxic romantic relationship also ended after 2 years (in part thanks to covid) but it would had ended an year sooner if I didn't have to be careful with what I said as I didn't want to make my tall and physically strong ex snap at me. From this I learned that if I go searching for friends and act like a person pleaser forgetting to value myself that is going to lead manipulative people to take advantage of me and I imagine these type of people know where to go to find good willed but insecure people like, in my example, in a group to meet people and make friends.
I had time for myself this last year away from that ex and everyone else since I don't have much of a choice and it helped me to realize there is social pressure to have "friends" and a "romantic partner" and that I was letting it pressure me as well.
It feels more freeing to realise I don't necessary need to have bonds to function and if the opportunity arises to meet and talk to someone I will take it.
So I say in my opinion it can be dangerous to actively search for friendship as it can attract the attention of manipulative people but I shouldn't refuse to meet someone new if the opportunity arises. If there is a person I have a chance to meet I just won't let it come to me but do my best to engage and meet that person. Treat a friend like you want a friend to treat you. That's all the advise I can give about relationship since it's what I have experience with.

 

[nightglow]

Truth be told, I don't.
I mean I do have a twitter and I do interact with people on there but generally with internet I don't do pms and it just seems like casual interaction. I also don't go anywhere anymore and there really isn't a place to go where I live anyway. It's all corn and beans here lol.

However, I have noticed that people who do make irl friends, they end up doing so via work, school, or some involved hobby/club because they are there all the time and tend to be around the same group of people day in and day out.
I would just suggest if a person is looking for irl friends, they should join some sort of club or hobby that is outside the home if there are places like that where you live and if it is something within your budget. Frequently being involved in things like that, you may meet a friend and may not have to fuss with trying to set aside a time to hang out since you both go to __x__ already and have an interest in that activity anyway.

 

[tiffanistarr]

I formed my core group of friends from work and then met more of their friends and we just formed a group.

Since I’ve moved I have had a hard time creating good friendships. Mostly because there are so few people here in Conservative-Land Illinois that I have a lot of matching view points with. I can be friendly and nice to people who have different views than me, but I can not be friends with you if you don’t believe in some of the basic human rights I feel passionate about. In my opinion it shows your true colors and I’m not a fan of those colors.

I know that’s a polarized view, but with how things are currently in the world it’s hard to not be decisive when it comes to basic human rights.

I still have friends that I’m close to, but it is difficult being so far away. Especially with the panini happening… Very difficult to form any relationships right now. Nor would I want to go out of my way to form bonds when I’m still seeing horrific covid numbers.

I also have horrible anxiety and have been struggling hard with it for the past year. It’s really been a struggle meeting anyone when I can barely get myself up. However, I’m doing a lot better now and am working hard to get through it.

 

[LadyDestani]

I don't go out of my way to make friends. I'm very shy and socially anxious so approaching new people is nearly impossible for me. I am friendly, though, so I do well when others approach me.

All of my friendships have grown naturally with people I interacted with on a regular basis: at school, at work, or through sports and hobbies.

My best relationships came from sharing an interest with the other person. So more than just sharing a class, but playing volleyball or being in the drama club, things we were passionate about. As a young adult, I met most of my friends at the arcade or playing Magic.

I met a few friends at work, but only 1 or 2 that I became really close to. I consider most of them as just work friends. We hang out at the office, but after work we go our separate ways.

I've also met a handful of friends on the internet, but again mainly through shared interests. Forums, online gaming, and so forth.

 

[Corrie]

At work. When you leave school and enter the workforce, I find it's far harder to make friends. As an adult, your schedule gets packed and trying to match it with other people's gets tough.

 

[Midoriya]

I meet friends and people wherever I go. Just made several new friends not too long ago. Whether people are interested in talking to me or not is up to them.

 

[Halloqueen]

As I'm a reserved and quiet person, I don't tend to make friends in the outside world. I can hold a conversation with someone, but I've never been great at socializing in real life. I don't know how people can just introduce themselves and get to know someone. The friends I have made in person were due to the other person taking the interest and initiative.

Online, I generally meet new people via friends I already have. I befriended a couple people on a forum over a decade ago and then I met people through them, and so on and so forth. Like a snowballing effect. My best friend is someone I met via one of those original two friends, for example. I've accumulated a good number of solid friends over the years this way.

 

[Neb]

In real life I make friends by responding to people who show interest in talking to me. I tend to come off as not very friendly, so it rarely happens. The last friend I made in person was four years ago and that was an exception. For once I was the one who reached out. We haven't talked in a while, but she ended up being quite nice.

Online I make friends by seeing people on Discord and forums who seem interesting and send a DM. When I was younger this worked nearly every time, but now it's more of a 50% chance. It's disheartening at times, but the friends I have been able to make have all been worth it.

 

[Cosmic_Crossfade]

For the most part, making friends with people can be reached through so many ways but I guess it all depends on whether or not you're the type of person who wants to be physically near another or someone who doesn't mind seeing or hearing a person over a video game or video chat.

I am trying to get out more to meet more people myself aha Sometimes, it's when you're not looking do you actually find people with whom you may have a lifelong connection with.

 

[Kitsuragi]

i personally have always made friends by people introducing me to their friends. i'm not the type of person to reach out first haha.

 

[apeisland]

I struggle making friends so much so I don't really have any personal experience to share but I have heard that if you go to the same places you'll end up meeting other regulars there. For example, classes, workshops or courses related to your interests, going the same day everyweek to the park, the library, a cafeteria.... I think it is good advice !

I always go the same park with my dog and after seeing the same girl every day reading there one day we walked behind her really close she introduced herself. I think in situations like this conversation is very natural and it could lead to something else!

I’m just curious how you personally go about meeting new people? As someone who doesn’t use any of the big social media, I don’t typically have the resources others do. I jump around from time to time in Discord servers and communicate with others, but I’ve never formed any friendships on there.

I’m pretty sure most of my online friendships were made using forums. Aside from that, I do talk to a good bit of people in real life, but I’ve only formed friendships with very few. Do you go out of your way to seek friendships with people or let them come to you?

Asking out of curiosity, but mainly because I want to know if it’s worth going out of your way to seek friendships. The people that I consider myself closest to were actually people I met while living my life. I didn’t necessarily seek them out, and it seems to me that maybe it’s better to just let things happen.

 

[slzzpz]

Mostly through work. Sitting next to co-workers, talking to people on breaks, etc... I have made friends through online means though.

 

[-Mars-]

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[Mokuren]

Oh I met some amazing friends online. I have a good friend that introducted me to a bunch of new amazing people but online. We played a lot of videogames online and they also came here to meet up with me. It was amazing.

Besides that I make friends mostly in real life through the work or university but honestly I am more on my own. I have my husband and my family as social interactions and that is more than enough for me. I am reall introvert and my husband super outgoing xD

 

[imorileo]

I recently graduated Uni so since then I haven’t met anyone new lol!! Following this thread just in case anyone has advice on making friends in the workplace n___n Prior to that however, I met all my friends in school or online. I’m not one to go out to socialise and stuff so that was all I had going for me lol

 

[Giddy]

I am also very non existant with social media. Like I may focus on one of them just to speak with friends, but that doesn't mean I'm always avilable to chat, I like my alone time as well.

I wanna say beforehand though, that for a while I have been extremely shy and I found it hard to really connect to people due to communication.
I would say I still have a bit of shyness in me, but over time I have been battling it with my own lil ways. Trying to be me and show the real me to others, which can really help when you wanna meet more people.
For instance, to help with my stress of talking to random people and such, I volunteered as a visitor host at an art gallery; where I had to stand around with a colourful bag with the words 'ASK ME' written on it, where I would generally just help people searching for specific art/artists/toliets and how to get to certain areas.
Heck, I still volunteer to this day, because I love helping people. And I actually met other volunteers' whom I've connected with and still talk to. Despite not knowing much about art, but it's still a nice hobby, and I love seeing people talking excitedly about something they care about.

I have an extremely good friend of mine that I met at college, so we know each other for over five or so years. We instantly clicked on day one. We enjoy the same hobbies, interested in similar career choices and play games together (I got him into animal crossing a bit).
I didn't do anything, I think we were put in the same group for a task, and yeah. It's great.
Actually I was away with this friend last week to a different country! I guess for certain people certain friendships can just happen. mean, with this specific friend. If I didn't get kicked out of my last college before going to the next one, I wouldn't have met him. I wouldn't have exerpienced all the things we have done over the years.

I have also recently been finding small face to face courses that connect to the career I want, so like recently I was in a screenwriting & mindfulness course. And from there, I did my best to try and talk to the others in class and get to know them better; as well as learning from them, because despite having the same hobbies or career paths, everyone has their own stories and things they enjoy and it's fin to learn from them.
I wouldn't say push yourself to talk to everyone or force the friendship. It's a two way street, and best to see if that really clicks.

But I have also met some great people online too! People from different countries, but we still continued to chat about things we connected about, or just learning about them or their hobbies.
One friend I had online, I've met from fanfiction, were I still ahve the pages and pages of conversations we had just from liking a certain character! And then just chatting together about real life and such.
And one from this other site where we chatted but due to real life we weren't always on, but that didn't stop us alwasy replying back!

I'm unsure if this is sorta advice or just rambling, but I am still learning myself. I think motivation really helps as well.