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How do you meet friends/people in general?
- Thread starter Croconaw
- Start date
I’m pretty lonely. I don’t have IRL friends, just a few online friends I found along the way. I met my current friends on another forum and we have a private server which is cool. Otherwise I only speak with people here honestly. Thanks to my parents, I’m very shut-in and don’t have IRL friends. I met one friend IRL, but we didn’t do much, and I count it as an online friendship because we don’t hang out IRL. If I can be happy with myself this isn’t so bad. I’m a firm believer that being on your own is better than being around people who make you feel lonelier, and I get lonelier around most people because I feel like people don’t understand me. Also I’m anxious and get overwhelmed by trying to socialise very easily so that‘s a large part of why I only hang out on that one server. I’m basically an onliner out of necessity because I’d rather be hanging out IRL.
Simply put, I don't. I don't reach out to people first, and for the most part nobody reaches out to me first either, which turns out to be a real bad combo to try and make friends with.
To get into a bit more of the specifics, I have zero friends IRL, haven't had an IRL friend for years, and there really haven't been any real opportunities for me to make friends IRL in years either. Making friends online has ended up coming through a combination of forums + Discord for me, where generally I meet people through the forums I'm on and get to know them a bit through them. Once we're in a Discord server together, the bonds of friendship get formed and strengthened as I'm more comfortable with talking on Discord and able to be a bit more open, thus we're able to actually converse together more often, and that gets continued through DMs as well. Unfortunately, the second part of that equation (talking on Discord) has been non-existent for well over a year now with anybody who I wasn't already friends with, so it's been awhile since I've made a new friend online.
To get into a bit more of the specifics, I have zero friends IRL, haven't had an IRL friend for years, and there really haven't been any real opportunities for me to make friends IRL in years either. Making friends online has ended up coming through a combination of forums + Discord for me, where generally I meet people through the forums I'm on and get to know them a bit through them. Once we're in a Discord server together, the bonds of friendship get formed and strengthened as I'm more comfortable with talking on Discord and able to be a bit more open, thus we're able to actually converse together more often, and that gets continued through DMs as well. Unfortunately, the second part of that equation (talking on Discord) has been non-existent for well over a year now with anybody who I wasn't already friends with, so it's been awhile since I've made a new friend online.
Miraculously and very occasionally through video games, Discord, and forums. I still interact with a friend group that was made over 15 years ago and have a couple of new ones that I'm thankful for. We don't interact often, but they're there and that presence is lovely.
In real life, I formerly met friends through work. I've been working from home since July 2022 and now only see faces through a screen maybe once or twice per week (we're a national company so a lot of people I work with are in other provinces).
I made friends when I worked at my previous job in a physical office. We'd talk at work and get together occasionally, but all of that has died out since I switched jobs. I still have their contact details and could reach out again (past attempts have made me discouraged from doing it again though). Either way, we're still friends - just don't talk much or see each other.
I am the type that's constantly worried about if I'm bothering you by reaching out and will wait an indefinite period of time to attempt this if I think you may be busy. It's a difficult mental barrier to overcome - not the best for meeting and sustaining friends.
In real life, I formerly met friends through work. I've been working from home since July 2022 and now only see faces through a screen maybe once or twice per week (we're a national company so a lot of people I work with are in other provinces).
I made friends when I worked at my previous job in a physical office. We'd talk at work and get together occasionally, but all of that has died out since I switched jobs. I still have their contact details and could reach out again (past attempts have made me discouraged from doing it again though). Either way, we're still friends - just don't talk much or see each other.
I am the type that's constantly worried about if I'm bothering you by reaching out and will wait an indefinite period of time to attempt this if I think you may be busy. It's a difficult mental barrier to overcome - not the best for meeting and sustaining friends.
I felt this on a personal level.
I do have someone I consider a close friend in real life now, but I haven’t had any close friends prior to this. We usually hang out one on one. She has friends that I know, but I’m not as close with them as they are with each other. I feel like it’d be awkward for them if I’m there. I haven’t personally told her about these concerns of mine but I plan to eventually. I just haven’t gotten the chance to because I’d prefer to explain in person, and I’ve no doubt she’d be understanding of this as she’s been so in the past.
I've made some friends in school, though I barely keep in touch with them. At work, I've chatted with some of my colleagues who have shared interests with me, though I've never been able to make any friendships with them cuz they tend to switch jobs or transfer to work at other places. I think it's difficult for people to sustain friendships if they often move to different locations. Like I'm new to the current state I'm living in and haven't made any friends here. Also, I'm closer to my cousins than my friends since they're related to me and I can trust them better. In addition, I find it far easier to start a conversation with my relatives than other people because I'm very shy and get socially anxious around people I've only recently met.
Also, socializing is just not my forte. Sometimes, I struggle to socialize or start a conversation with others cuz I'm not into those hobbies that boys are typically into such as sports, cars, violent video games, action movies, etc. So naturally, most guys don't want to hang out with me. Obviously, I know that not all guys play sports, but most people tend to form friendships more easily with people who have shared interests with them. And since boys don't gossip or chat about their feelings as much as girls do, they normally only ever talk with others about mutual hobbies they have. Like when I was young, I found it hard to make friends or strike a conversation with kids who are big fans of Star Wars or Batman since these franchises didn't interest me that much. Even as an adult, a lot of men don't want to chat with me simply because they'd much rather hang out with someone who likes to talk about the recent NFL/NBA games they've watched, violent FPS games they play, or any other one of those cliche hobbies that boys are usually into. Like I barely know anyone in the real world who plays Nintendo games like Animal Crossing, and the people I've met IRL who play New Horizons aren't able to keep in touch with me. For me, a friend should be someone you trust and can support you with advice when you need it, not merely a person to chat with about mutual hobbies. And while I think that participating in clubs and organized events is a great way to make friends, it's not easy to find genuine people to sustain lost-lasting friendships with. Especially nowadays when people are so busy with their personal lives and don't have the time to make friends.
There are other reasons why I don't try to pursue friendships IRL. I don't want to spend time with people who constantly make fun of me and thus avoid these people at all costs. I don't mind lighthearted teasing, but I hate it when people make fun of me based on my appearance cuz it's hurtful and irritating. Though I know it's irrational to assume that people will judge and pick on you in the real world, unlike in school where kids often try to bully others in order to fit in. Also, when I experienced depression as a teenager, I started to lose motivation to get out of my comfort zone and make friends, though quarantine and social distancing gave me an urge to mingle with others. Lastly, I don't care about friendships when I feel the need to act "cool" in order to fit in with others. I just do my own thing and don't want to follow the latest trends.
Anyways, I find it's far easier to make friends on forums since it's easier to find others who share a common interest with me. Although I've been quite busy with work and school, I plan on chatting with more members on these forums sometime soon in 2023
Also, socializing is just not my forte. Sometimes, I struggle to socialize or start a conversation with others cuz I'm not into those hobbies that boys are typically into such as sports, cars, violent video games, action movies, etc. So naturally, most guys don't want to hang out with me. Obviously, I know that not all guys play sports, but most people tend to form friendships more easily with people who have shared interests with them. And since boys don't gossip or chat about their feelings as much as girls do, they normally only ever talk with others about mutual hobbies they have. Like when I was young, I found it hard to make friends or strike a conversation with kids who are big fans of Star Wars or Batman since these franchises didn't interest me that much. Even as an adult, a lot of men don't want to chat with me simply because they'd much rather hang out with someone who likes to talk about the recent NFL/NBA games they've watched, violent FPS games they play, or any other one of those cliche hobbies that boys are usually into. Like I barely know anyone in the real world who plays Nintendo games like Animal Crossing, and the people I've met IRL who play New Horizons aren't able to keep in touch with me. For me, a friend should be someone you trust and can support you with advice when you need it, not merely a person to chat with about mutual hobbies. And while I think that participating in clubs and organized events is a great way to make friends, it's not easy to find genuine people to sustain lost-lasting friendships with. Especially nowadays when people are so busy with their personal lives and don't have the time to make friends.
There are other reasons why I don't try to pursue friendships IRL. I don't want to spend time with people who constantly make fun of me and thus avoid these people at all costs. I don't mind lighthearted teasing, but I hate it when people make fun of me based on my appearance cuz it's hurtful and irritating. Though I know it's irrational to assume that people will judge and pick on you in the real world, unlike in school where kids often try to bully others in order to fit in. Also, when I experienced depression as a teenager, I started to lose motivation to get out of my comfort zone and make friends, though quarantine and social distancing gave me an urge to mingle with others. Lastly, I don't care about friendships when I feel the need to act "cool" in order to fit in with others. I just do my own thing and don't want to follow the latest trends.
Anyways, I find it's far easier to make friends on forums since it's easier to find others who share a common interest with me. Although I've been quite busy with work and school, I plan on chatting with more members on these forums sometime soon in 2023
online. i don’t have any irl friends, just online ones. i do school virtually, and i don’t have a job, so i don’t have any opportunities to meet or socialize with people in-person. not really into things like going to clubs or using dating apps (at least not right now lol) to meet people, so those aren’t an option either. plus i’m more talkative and outgoing online. i’m awkward and have really bad social anxiety, and i honestly don’t know how to socialize with people in-person due to lack of experience and how different i feel from everyone else, so i prefer to do it online. i’m more comfortable online, though i would like to work on that in the new year. it’d be nice to have in-person friends as well haha.
Violet Witch
☽Stay Wild Moon Child☾
Well the last of my irl friend's has recently decided I'm not worth her time anymore even though we met on a forum over 18 years ago, so I feel like right now I'm at the start line when it comes to trying to make new friends. Sadly the older you get though, the harder it is to make new friends, especially if you've got your guard up after past experiences that have gone awry. However I remain hopeful that I'll somehow make some new friends in the future whether it be here, else or in irl.
Khaoticnoize187
Ghost
Thats the neat thing for me i don't like i rather just keep to myself and be left alone as is then deal with the bull**** that comes with friendship cliques and hiveminds.
I would consider most of my non-familial IRL relationships as acquaintances or casual friends, all of whom I’ve met through either work or university. I don’t actively look for any additional friendships, as I’m pretty content with where I’m at! I’m definitely friendly with people, but I think I would find it difficult to navigate a large social circle.
Online, I find it very easy to reach out to people! All of my current online friendships have been through TBT in some way. TBT has managed to accumulate a bewildering number of kind and amazing people.
I’ve made some meaningful friendships here, and there are people I’ve met on TBT that I truly care deeply for! 
Online, I find it very easy to reach out to people! All of my current online friendships have been through TBT in some way. TBT has managed to accumulate a bewildering number of kind and amazing people.
I’ve made some meaningful friendships here, and there are people I’ve met on TBT that I truly care deeply for! 
Envy
Crazy Woodwind Lady
I've met my friends in school, college/university, work, and community ensembles. I don't really know how to make friends too well outside of those circles. With me moving all of the way across the country soon, I'm not looking forward to having to find new friends. D:
Beanz
Sophisticated Hi-C drinker
i honestly don’t know but im going to have to figure it out soon. i have only one friend at school, how i met her is kind of a funny (and long) story. the first year we talked over text and memes so i was already comfortable by the time we started actually talking. but it’s just crazy to me how some people have the confidence to go up to strangers and just begin talking about something, like what do y’all talk about that it isn’t awkward at first??
DaisyFan
Do NOT disturb. Indefinite break
Well, I don't make friends as well as not having any friends, both irl and online, except two things:
- I had a friend for a couple of years in elementary school.
- One online, that was long time ago.
Overall, I rather keep to myself.
- I had a friend for a couple of years in elementary school.
- One online, that was long time ago.
Overall, I rather keep to myself.
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I usually make friends with my coworkers then they start introducing me to other mutuals.
Yeah, all of my friends are still the old group from that other forum, met here, or at least tangentially met here (offshoot server). Everyone else of my friends list is really an acquaintance.
Just being there matters a lot, on both ends, I’m just tired of putting it in myself so that’s not a good combo.
If you can put yourself in with a cool hobby like sharing art too does a lot. That’s one of the reasons the events here are so great.
Just being there matters a lot, on both ends, I’m just tired of putting it in myself so that’s not a good combo.
If you can put yourself in with a cool hobby like sharing art too does a lot. That’s one of the reasons the events here are so great.
I have online and in person friends. I've met them over different things like hobbies or whatever. For example I do Civil War reenacting. I would've never befriended them if it were not for that hobby, but we bonded over that interest. Plus we have to actually camp on a remote field/location during the event which lasts roughly a weekend. So we have to live like they did period style without any modern things (you can have them, but keep it hidden so it doesn't break the immersion for spectators or your fellow reenactors) which gives you enough time to bond with others.
Others were because of art, online gaming ect. You start off with a common interest and can branch off from there if the friendship clicks.
All of my friendships were because I initiated them. I probably wouldn't have any or very few if I just waited for the other side to act. Could be because I'm not that well liked, I'm everyone's last option, or it's just the way society is and we've normalized this ghosting behavior. I honestly don't know and I stopped caring tbh lol.
Others were because of art, online gaming ect. You start off with a common interest and can branch off from there if the friendship clicks.
All of my friendships were because I initiated them. I probably wouldn't have any or very few if I just waited for the other side to act. Could be because I'm not that well liked, I'm everyone's last option, or it's just the way society is and we've normalized this ghosting behavior. I honestly don't know and I stopped caring tbh lol.
StarlitGlitch
Sweets Lover
I've had some difficulties making friends, but but on and offline my main way is from being a part of a regular group that involves conversing with the same people, and then getting close to some of them.
E.g. work, a casual Japanese class that meets regularly, a small Discord ORG group that was formed by people from the same forum. They all involved the same people talking together regularly, and I got close with them over time before we started talking and hanging out privately.
E.g. work, a casual Japanese class that meets regularly, a small Discord ORG group that was formed by people from the same forum. They all involved the same people talking together regularly, and I got close with them over time before we started talking and hanging out privately.
Mr_Keroppi
Hoppy Froggy Friend ੈ✩‧₊˚
I mostly meet new people at my school! That may be a basic answer for people in my age range but otherwise when I am shopping I'll make a new friend! Its fun to find people looking at the stuff you love when shopping and then starting up a conversation! In general, I enjoy meeting new people and making friends!
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