LGBTQA - Discussion and support.

[Zanessa]

IMO, if people are going to use the "discussion" part of the title to justify them voicing their **somewhat offensive** opinion, then we just need to make it "support". >_>
But, anyways..

So me and my two friends were invited to my crush's sleepover, and when I asked my mom, she got really suspicious and hesitant. T_T
The problem with this for me is that the most we can even do is kiss since we'll have friends there... like.. mom, I can't get pregnant or anything.. T_________T
Had to lie about who was going just to let her let me go. If I have to deal with this every time there's a friend gathering with my crush and other friends, I will slice and dice her opinions and serve them to the devil.

And we came to an "agreement".. she'll only accept my sexuality on two conditions;
1- if I don't bring it up to any other family members
2 - if I don't date any girls before I move out (haha she's funny)

and she's also only accepting it because she has to, not because she wants to.

Great job, mom.

 

[Brackets]

IMO, if people are going to use the "discussion" part of the title to justify them voicing their **somewhat offensive** opinion, then we just need to make it "support". >_>

Exactly - and I don't see why we have to be nice and 'help them understand' if they are being quite confrontational and opinionated from the onset.
I'm really sorry to hear that about your mom I hope she becomes more understanding as time goes on.

 

[rosetti]

IMO, if people are going to use the "discussion" part of the title to justify them voicing their **somewhat offensive** opinion, then we just need to make it "support". >_>
But, anyways..

So me and my two friends were invited to my crush's sleepover, and when I asked my mom, she got really suspicious and hesitant. T_T
The problem with this for me is that the most we can even do is kiss since we'll have friends there... like.. mom, I can't get pregnant or anything.. T_________T
Had to lie about who was going just to let her let me go. If I have to deal with this every time there's a friend gathering with my crush and other friends, I will slice and dice her opinions and serve them to the devil.

And we came to an "agreement".. she'll only accept my sexuality on two conditions;
1- if I don't bring it up to any other family members
2 - if I don't date any girls before I move out (haha she's funny)

and she's also only accepting it because she has to, not because she wants to.

Great job, mom.

I really don't understand how a parent can treat their child differently just beacuse of their sexuality/gender. Your mom should love you no matter what and should support your choices. I hope you had a nice time at the sleepover though, my dad is pretty overprotective when it comes to boys - even just hanging out with them - he asks sooo many questions, so I understand how it can be annoying.. just as other people could. D:

 

[oath2order]

Exactly - and I don't see why we have to be nice and 'help them understand' if they are being quite confrontational and opinionated from the onset.

Seriously? Not willing to explain how trans works to people? The whole point of support in the LGBT community is to educate the uneducated on this, gain supporters, not bash people and hate refuse to explain things to them.

 

[Brackets]

Seriously? Not willing to explain how trans works to people? The whole point of support in the LGBT community is to educate the uneducated on this, gain supporters, not bash people and hate refuse to explain things to them.

If they come in with an open mind, then yes of course. But they just came in and stated their opinions.

 

[Beary]

Let me just say this simply.

Gender is what you IDENTIFY as, what you FEEL you are. For example, I have a sister who is physically a girl, but she identifies as neither gender.
Sex is what you PHYSICALLY are, regarding your sexual organs. Someone can be a boy but feel like a girl, or the other way round.

Transgender is, quoting an article, "An umbrella term that refers to those with identities that cross over, move between, or otherwise challenge the socially constructed border between the genders."

On the other hand, transsexual is "A term referring to a person who does not identify with the sex they were assigned at birth and wishes, whether successful or not, to realign their gender and their sex through use of medical intervention."

There is a difference, and these people have a right to prefer being called 'him' or 'her', or even 'them'.
They have a right to be who they want to be.

 

[Princess Weeb]

And we came to an "agreement".. she'll only accept my sexuality on two conditions;
1- if I don't bring it up to any other family members
2 - if I don't date any girls before I move out (haha she's funny)

and she's also only accepting it because she has to, not because she wants to.

Great job, mom.

I don't understand some parents... Like literally how can you make and then carry a child for nearly a year, pour every moment you can into raising that child and then treat them horribly for one minor detail that has literally no effect on them, except maybe the absence of fully biologically related grandchildren. (Even then some straight couples adopt/use other methods/don't have kids)

It's ridiculous. I'm pretty certain the benefits of having a happy and loving relationship with your child outweigh some people's selfish needs to keep themselves popular with their friends and family because some people might react badly to their child's lifestyle.

I second Annachie's message, I really hope she becomes more understanding or sees the effect that it may have on your relationship with her.

 

[EpicGamer12]

If I could swear on here jfc this thing would be constantly closed
Not sure why I was quoted by the person first either, seen as my post had nothing to do with their reply at all.

- - - Post Merge - - -



Please learn the difference between sex and gender, also.

- - - Post Merge - - -

I suppose this is the first and only time I've ever said this to anyone, actually, but I did struggle (very minimally) with my gender identity when I was younger.
I've always been bigger in every way I suppose to other girls around me. I was always taller, I hit puberty first, I'm louder, a little bit heavier and all that jazz too. Having very very dark hair naturally (probably something to do with the mishmash of races that I am/I have very pale skin against that very dark hair) I always had pretty thick hair and eyebrows on my face/arms/legs etc, and my voice was pretty low for someone my age. It was around the time that I started to wear makeup, but it was a rare thing really, too.

It wasn't the main insult, but people always used to doubt my femininity. Even teachers would mock my deeper voice (I didn't sound masculine at all really, it was just different I suppose) and I hated the fact that I was pretty much flat as a pancake in the chest region. All of my friends had always been and still for the most part are guys, because other females intimidate me. Except for the sport stereotypes, I think I conformed to quite a lot more male gender roles than I realised. It was a very short thing, but I really started to wonder whether people were right, whether I was meant to be a guy. It probably didn't help that I had a younger brother who I felt most of my family favourited, and that I just knew that I was different.

I'm undeniably still really unsure of how to feel about myself really. I think I've come to accept the fact that I was born female and I don't think that there is anything really pushing me enough to want to transition. It's a very weird feeling. If we all weren't surrounded by so much stereotyping and so many pressures I think my decision may have been easier and quicker.


I can't even begin to fathom how people who strongly want to transition would feel, it must be so horrible. It's so unlike anything else. If you hate your body, usually you can do something about it without judgement. If you smoke or drink or overeat, sure the process of stopping is hard, but there is support there. It's not like losing excess weight, it's totally different. It's a burden that stays with you forever, as I imagine you still have to tell partners and new friends in the future that you are transgender, unlike someone telling a friend or partner that they had a problem in their earlier life.

(I do apologise in advance if any of that sounds insensitive or is weirdly phrased, it's a really difficult thing to explain ahah)

I don't think you understand gender identity very well. You're basically saying that you have a bit more testosterone than some girls and your insecurities make you want to hang around guys instead of girls. All you're really saying is that you might want to change as a means of fitting in. I feel a lot of people have it the wrong way.
Feel free to disagree with me, I'm open to others' opinions and views. Just make sure you support your argument

 

[Princess Weeb]

I don't think you understand gender identity very well. You're basically saying that you have a bit more testosterone than some girls and your insecurities make you want to hang around guys instead of girls. All you're really saying is that you might want to change as a means of fitting in. I feel a lot of people have it the wrong way.
Feel free to disagree with me, I'm open to others' opinions and views. Just make sure you support your argument

I can't really argue with you, because I don't really understand it myself, if I'm honest.
(By that I don't mean gender identity as a whole, I mean my feelings on my own identity)

 

[EpicGamer12]

I can't really argue with you, because I don't really understand it myself, if I'm honest.
(By that I don't mean gender identity as a whole, I mean my feelings on my own identity)

That's fine, I don't really understand it either. I wish you luck in finding yourself

 

[Aryxia]

I'm just going to leave this here:

Misgendering Hurts. Misgendering Kills. At the end of the day, trans* people are still people, and they deserve to be respected just as much as anyone else. End. Of. Story.

- - - Post Merge - - -

IMO, if people are going to use the "discussion" part of the title to justify them voicing their **somewhat offensive** opinion, then we just need to make it "support". >_>
But, anyways..

So me and my two friends were invited to my crush's sleepover, and when I asked my mom, she got really suspicious and hesitant. T_T
The problem with this for me is that the most we can even do is kiss since we'll have friends there... like.. mom, I can't get pregnant or anything.. T_________T
Had to lie about who was going just to let her let me go. If I have to deal with this every time there's a friend gathering with my crush and other friends, I will slice and dice her opinions and serve them to the devil.

And we came to an "agreement".. she'll only accept my sexuality on two conditions;
1- if I don't bring it up to any other family members
2 - if I don't date any girls before I move out (haha she's funny)

and she's also only accepting it because she has to, not because she wants to.

Great job, mom.

I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. Hopefully she'll learn to be more accepting, but just remember that the family you choose is more important than the one you were born into.

 

[radical6]

Jesus Christ I brought up leelah to mourn her. I haven't heard about how they're burying her but I hope not as a man. There was another trans woman who was presented as a man in her casket. It was honestly disgusting.

It makes me wonder how my own family would react. They refuse to believe that I'm trans even though I've even been diagnosed with gender dysphoria, they just refuse to accept it. I do secretly dress androgynous or butch to school and when I'm out with friends, but I have to be very sneaky about it. Even when I wore a tie for my school jazz band (which was an option for everyone because we had to wear red) my mom freaked out. I guess this is why I have arguments with my family about hiding stuff. Because I have to, cuz they won't accept it. I'm very sick of people telling me "it's ur mom she sees U as her daughter and baby!" Sorry, I don't care. I've been asking some of my male friends for some clothes since we're about the same size, but I'm a bit hesitant on how I would wear it. I suppose I could change in the bathroom before school started, and change back before I go home. I feel a lot more comfortable in more gender neutral clothes anyway.

 

[Aryxia]

Jesus Christ I brought up leelah to mourn her. I haven't heard about how they're burying her but I hope not as a man. There was another trans woman who was presented as a man in her casket. It was honestly disgusting.

It makes me wonder how my own family would react. They refuse to believe that I'm trans even though I've even been diagnosed with gender dysphoria, they just refuse to accept it. I do secretly dress androgynous or butch to school and when I'm out with friends, but I have to be very sneaky about it. Even when I wore a tie for my school jazz band (which was an option for everyone because we had to wear red) my mom freaked out. I guess this is why I have arguments with my family about hiding stuff. Because I have to, cuz they won't accept it. I'm very sick of people telling me "it's ur mom she sees U as her daughter and baby!" Sorry, I don't care. I've been asking some of my male friends for some clothes since we're about the same size, but I'm a bit hesitant on how I would wear it. I suppose I could change in the bathroom before school started, and change back before I go home. I feel a lot more comfortable in more gender neutral clothes anyway.

They buried her in a suit under a tombstone with her birth name. And I'm sorry to hear about your parents. I wish I could offer some comfort, but I have no idea how to ^.^;;

 

[radical6]

They buried her in a suit under a tombstone with her birth name.

Her mom is truly pathetic then. I feel no pity for her. Maybe it's a bit unforgiving to say this, but I hope she lives with the guilt that she was the cause of her daughters suicide. For her to act like she actually cared when she ignored Leelah the most out of all her siblings is disgusting. I hope it eats her alive, and that the guilt never washes away. Her daughters blood is on her hands, despite how much she wants to spin the story as "she just got ran over by a truck while walking okay!" I hope her siblings will speak out about it, since Leelah seemed to be on better terms with them.

 

[Beary]

My stepsister used to live with her mom until it got too much for her. Her mom couldn't stand that she was trans, and would cry whenever my stepsister mentioned it, saying "I don't want another son!"
Damn, woman, get used to it.
My stepsister loves ties and suits, and we don't judge her for it. She's an amazing sister.
It makes me sad when people's parents don't want to believe that their child is trans. It's cruel.

 

[radical6]

My stepsister used to live with her mom until it got too much for her. Her mom couldn't stand that she was trans, and would cry whenever my stepsister mentioned it, saying "I don't want another son!"
Damn, woman, get used to it.
My stepsister loves ties and suits, and we don't judge her for it. She's an amazing sister.
It makes me sad when people's parents don't want to believe that their child is trans. It's cruel.

Uh I'm assuming your stepsibling is a trans man then?? Wouldn't you want to say stepbrother... just saying

 

[Beary]

Uh I'm assuming your stepsibling is a trans man then?? Wouldn't you want to say stepbrother... just saying

She identifies as neither, but she doesn't mind being called a she.

 

[radical6]

She identifies as neither, but she doesn't mind being called a she.

Ahh okay just was a bit confused :^) so nb then? That's cool, my moms a bit like that but she's more saying "plz just relax and be a kid!!11"

 

[Princess Weeb]

http://edition.cnn.com/2014/12/31/us/ohio-transgender-teen-suicide/index.html This makes me very angry : )))
Also doesn't it say there that they didn't have a service and I can't find where they said she was buried and referred to as a male tho? Idk
Either way I hope someone goes and swaps out her headstone for one with her preferred pronouns/name on it

 

[Aryxia]

Her mom is truly pathetic then. I feel no pity for her. Maybe it's a bit unforgiving to say this, but I hope she lives with the guilt that she was the cause of her daughters suicide. For her to act like she actually cared when she ignored Leelah the most out of all her siblings is disgusting. I hope it eats her alive, and that the guilt never washes away. Her daughters blood is on her hands, despite how much she wants to spin the story as "she just got ran over by a truck while walking okay!" I hope her siblings will speak out about it, since Leelah seemed to be on better terms with them.

I don't think she will, and that's what tears me up about the whole situation. Like how can do that to your own child? No one even knows if God is real or not, and I don't see how anyone can justify using religion as a vessel for hate. Seriously, every church I've been to has had regular attendance from LGBTQIA+ people, and I'm ****ing Catholic, not united, so it's no.****ing.excuse. What gives anyone the right to torture someone based on who they are for something that we can't even confirm as real?? You can argue that it was their right as a parent as much as you want, but the fact of the matter is, denying Leelah her gender rights is equivalent to denying her mother her religious rights.