LGBTQA - Discussion and support.

[seliph]

I find it kinda disheartening that anyone would consider a straight person showing support for gay people disrespectful, honestly.

That's not what I said. Please read my posts again.

Oops, I usually do use transgender in person, but for some reason, I thought it looked grammatically correct with the -ed in that moment that I was typing it >.< Sorry!

I don't care about ally points.. What would that gain me really? I know what I support and I don't just support LGBTQ rights just to get brownie points with whoever. I piped in because I found it ridiculous that some people would think a straight woman liking a trans man makes them a lesbian. Like in my point, I still consider myself straight because I consider trans men as male. And I just wanted to throw support in the way of some that seemed to need it. It was 100% genuine. But like I said, I understand if you're uncomfortable with straight people in here, then I will go.

It's fine lmao was just a reminder, people mess em up all the time.

And idk! A lot of people are like obsessed with looking like the Number One Best Ally. I'm not sure what it gets them or why they're even so into it in the first place. Hence I get suspicious when straight people get really into LGBT discussion 'cause it always feels like, "Alright do you want something?"

It's nothing against you personally. I can promise that much.

 

[visibleghost]

yea w the Best Ally thing a lot of those Best Allies do and say some rly :/ things and then they get super defensive when someone tells them to not do that bc theyre "a great ally!!!" like yeah great i get that u bought a rainbow backpack to support us but that doesnt mean that youre a perfect ally who can never be homophobic or transphobic and that youre being bullied by the lgbtq community when someone tells u that it's creepy and bad to b an extreme yaoi fangirl lol

this isnt about anyone specific in this thread or anything lol, that's just my personal experience with a lot of allies who think theyre super great. ofc there are actual good allies but Yeee the bad "good" ones are the most common in my experience

 

[KaydeeKrunk]

"Best Allies" are better than the straight people who make homosexuality into a fetish or trend tho. :/

 

[amanda1983]

"Best Allies" are better than the straight people who make homosexuality into a fetish or trend tho. :/

I'm just an ally of multiple loved ones and the community in general, but in my experience : very often well-intended straight allies can be - or become - the most fetishising of fetishists in this area. Not all of us, of course. But LGBTQIA+ ally =/= above fetishing aspects of the LGBTQIA+ world.

 

[KaydeeKrunk]

I'm just an ally of multiple loved ones and the community in general, but in my experience : very often well-intended straight allies can be - or become - the most fetishising of fetishists in this area. Not all of us, of course. But LGBTQIA+ ally =/= above fetishing aspects of the LGBTQIA+ world.

Yeah, I wasn't saying they were inclusive. But I know people who "ship" every gay OTP ever and write fan-fics who are apposed to gay marriage/rights, and who have literally said "ew" directed at actual gay people... -_- And THOSE are the worst.

 

[amanda1983]

Yeah, I wasn't saying they were inclusive. But I know people who "ship" every gay OTP ever and write fan-fics who are apposed to gay marriage/rights, and who have literally said "ew" directed at actual gay people... -_- And THOSE are the worst.

Oh yes, I see what you mean now, definitely a different level of wtf. I don't think I've come across someone who does that - if I do, that will be quite the enlightening conversation. For both of us.

 

[KaydeeKrunk]

Oh yes, I see what you mean now, definitely a different level of wtf. I don't think I've come across someone who does that - if I do, that will be quite the enlightening conversation. For both of us.

Oh yes, very enlightening. It's hard to even talk to them, the girl I knew was a huge weeaboo at my high school and when I asked why she "shipped" gays but didn't approve of them having rights was, and I quote "Well it's just cute, they still can't get married, because it's wrong. It's in the bible!" A real 10/10 human being I'll tell ya what.

 

[Jeremy]

All members are welcome to post wherever they like as long as they're being respectful and not breaking any rules, and that includes this thread. We're not going to silence anyone just because they aren't part of a specific group, especially when they seem to have nothing but supportive things to say.

 

[seliph]

yea w the Best Ally thing a lot of those Best Allies do and say some rly :/ things and then they get super defensive when someone tells them to not do that bc theyre "a great ally!!!" like yeah great i get that u bought a rainbow backpack to support us but that doesnt mean that youre a perfect ally who can never be homophobic or transphobic and that youre being bullied by the lgbtq community when someone tells u that it's creepy and bad to b an extreme yaoi fangirl lol

this isnt about anyone specific in this thread or anything lol, that's just my personal experience with a lot of allies who think theyre super great. ofc there are actual good allies but Yeee the bad "good" ones are the most common in my experience

I'm just an ally of multiple loved ones and the community in general, but in my experience : very often well-intended straight allies can be - or become - the most fetishising of fetishists in this area. Not all of us, of course. But LGBTQIA+ ally =/= above fetishing aspects of the LGBTQIA+ world.

This is basically what I was talking about, not really good at explaining things at 3-4AM

All members are welcome to post wherever they like as long as they're being respectful and not breaking any rules, and that includes this thread. We're not going to silence anyone just because they aren't part of a specific group, especially when they seem to have nothing but supportive things to say.

Get out straightie!!!

 

[MorphiGalaxi]

Get out straightie!!!

Um, I cant tell if this is a serious post or not.
If not its kinda rude, no offense, just confused. XD

Also, just wanted to say I fully support you guys :3

 

[Ghost Soda]

Oh yes, I see what you mean now, definitely a different level of wtf. I don't think I've come across someone who does that - if I do, that will be quite the enlightening conversation. For both of us.

I know what you guys were talking about! A while ago, I saw a user on dA who openly admitted, without a hint of irony or remorse, that while they enjoy shipping mlm, they don't care about real life LGBT+ people. I wish I were exaggerating...

 

[KaydeeKrunk]

I know what you guys were talking about! A while ago, I saw a user on dA who openly admitted, without a hint of irony or remorse, that while they enjoy shipping mlm, they don't care about real life LGBT+ people. I wish I were exaggerating...

It's really horrible! Having something so important to so many people be fetishized is just awful.

 

[visibleghost]

lol also my favorite Cishet Ally thing is when they say that they "have nothing against The Gays and The Transgenders" so they can't be homophobic or transphobic lol Throwback 2 old threads on this forum ha ha

im rly sick of ppl who think that being told youre homophobic or transphobic is worse than actually being it ha ha

Um, I cant tell if this is a serious post or not.
If not its kinda rude, no offense, just confused. XD

Also, just wanted to say I fully support you guys :3

#str8 h8

 

[Brookie]

Hi guys,

So, I'm straight (Idk if i'm welcome here ) - with many LGBT friends, and I would like some advice on how to view a situation.

I was recently talking to my guy friend (who likes me), and I used to like him back, but he's recently been off-putting to me lately :/
First, we were talking about transgender. I was asking him what binders were 'cause I kept hearing about them. I looked it up in UrbanBook, and it said: "what a transgender man wears to flatten the chest and give it a flat appearance" I was like "ooooohHh!" He said "wait, wouldn't a 'transman' want more of a chest?". I said "I think the labels means what they identify as, so the transman is indeed a man that was assigned female at birth". He said "not to me their not" I was thinking: uhhhhh, so I said "what do u mean, not to you? Like they aren't a man to you and you refuse to call them that?" He said "in my eyes, you are what you are. you have no right changing what god made you" Then I was like: uuuuhhhhh, wow. I tried to move on from that, because I guess he wasn't really being hateful, just stating his opinion.

Then, I was talking about how I was confused with all the new terms. He said: "It was so much easier when it was gay/lesbian or straight" (He's 23 btw, I'm 21) I said "well there was always bi and trans, I always thought that was it - but now there are like 20 different terms. So much to learn D:" Then he laughed and said "HAHAHA, so many confused folks out there." and he said it in the most condescending and meanest way ever. I said "I wouldn't say confused..... but lets talk about something else" I could only imagine how this would feel to hear as an LGBTQIA person.

So please, tell me - is it wrong of me to not really see him the same anymore? or like him in that way anymore? he's always given me that umm "annoying hetero boy" vibe, but I don't really know If I am overreacting. i've certainly never heard ANY of my other friends saying that - even if they were close-minded and religious. I don't think he had any place saying that, tbh.

 

[Chris]

Hi guys,

So, I'm straight (Idk if i'm welcome here ) - with many LGBT friends, and I would like some advice on how to view a situation.

You are welcome. The people who are trying to chase straight people out of this thread are not actually allowed to do this. Anyone is welcome to post in any thread.

 

[Brookie]

You are welcome. The people who are trying to chase straight people out of this thread are not actually allowed to do this. Anyone is welcome to post in any thread.

Oh, ok! Well, clearly from my first post in here - I highly support the community ^_^
Thanks Tina

 

[Bowie]

Hi guys,

So, I'm straight (Idk if i'm welcome here ) - with many LGBT friends, and I would like some advice on how to view a situation.

I was recently talking to my guy friend (who likes me), and I used to like him back, but he's recently been off-putting to me lately :/
First, we were talking about transgender. I was asking him what binders were 'cause I kept hearing about them. I looked it up in UrbanBook, and it said: "what a transgender man wears to flatten the chest and give it a flat appearance" I was like "ooooohHh!" He said "wait, wouldn't a 'transman' want more of a chest?". I said "I think the labels means what they identify as, so the transman is indeed a man that was assigned female at birth". He said "not to me their not" I was thinking: uhhhhh, so I said "what do u mean, not to you? Like they aren't a man to you and you refuse to call them that?" He said "in my eyes, you are what you are. you have no right changing what god made you" Then I was like: uuuuhhhhh, wow. I tried to move on from that, because I guess he wasn't really being hateful, just stating his opinion.

Then, I was talking about how I was confused with all the new terms. He said: "It was so much easier when it was gay/lesbian or straight" (He's 23 btw, I'm 21) I said "well there was always bi and trans, I always thought that was it - but now there are like 20 different terms. So much to learn D:" Then he laughed and said "HAHAHA, so many confused folks out there." and he said it in the most condescending and meanest way ever. I said "I wouldn't say confused..... but lets talk about something else" I could only imagine how this would feel to hear as an LGBTQIA person.

So please, tell me - is it wrong of me to not really see him the same anymore? or like him in that way anymore? he's always given me that umm "annoying hetero boy" vibe, but I don't really know If I am overreacting. i've certainly never heard ANY of my other friends saying that - even if they were close-minded and religious. I don't think he had any place saying that, tbh.

Might just be me, but I couldn't even be friends with someone who kept bringing up God in arguments. That'd be me breaking up with him before we even got started.

Seriously, though. Run a mile. You don't want to risk being influenced by idiots like that. And more than anything else, you're worth so much more than that. It's obvious you don't have the same philosophies as him, and if he thinks it's all right to treat minority groups like garbage, I see no reason not to treat you like garbage either. It'll come back to bite you on the backside later in life if you try and pursue a relationship with him. Trust me.

On the off chance you can teach him a better way, give him an ultimatum. If he isn't gonna be willing to change his ways and be more respectful about minority groups, you're not gonna be friends with him, talk to him, text him, do anything with him.

I know that I'd already be gone by now.

 

[Corrie]

Hi guys,

So, I'm straight (Idk if i'm welcome here ) - with many LGBT friends, and I would like some advice on how to view a situation.

I was recently talking to my guy friend (who likes me), and I used to like him back, but he's recently been off-putting to me lately :/
First, we were talking about transgender. I was asking him what binders were 'cause I kept hearing about them. I looked it up in UrbanBook, and it said: "what a transgender man wears to flatten the chest and give it a flat appearance" I was like "ooooohHh!" He said "wait, wouldn't a 'transman' want more of a chest?". I said "I think the labels means what they identify as, so the transman is indeed a man that was assigned female at birth". He said "not to me their not" I was thinking: uhhhhh, so I said "what do u mean, not to you? Like they aren't a man to you and you refuse to call them that?" He said "in my eyes, you are what you are. you have no right changing what god made you" Then I was like: uuuuhhhhh, wow. I tried to move on from that, because I guess he wasn't really being hateful, just stating his opinion.

Then, I was talking about how I was confused with all the new terms. He said: "It was so much easier when it was gay/lesbian or straight" (He's 23 btw, I'm 21) I said "well there was always bi and trans, I always thought that was it - but now there are like 20 different terms. So much to learn D:" Then he laughed and said "HAHAHA, so many confused folks out there." and he said it in the most condescending and meanest way ever. I said "I wouldn't say confused..... but lets talk about something else" I could only imagine how this would feel to hear as an LGBTQIA person.

So please, tell me - is it wrong of me to not really see him the same anymore? or like him in that way anymore? he's always given me that umm "annoying hetero boy" vibe, but I don't really know If I am overreacting. i've certainly never heard ANY of my other friends saying that - even if they were close-minded and religious. I don't think he had any place saying that, tbh.

It's definitely not wrong for you to change your opinion about someone based on how they are and what their opinions are. You don't have to accept his opinions if you don't agree with him (especially if you do it with respect).

Sometimes I learn something about someone who I once liked that made me not like them anymore. It's totally normal, in my opinion anyway.

Being in a relationship with someone when you have conflicting opinions is hard but it can be done. It just depends if you can handle those differences.

 

[Brookie]

Might just be me, but I couldn't even be friends with someone who kept bringing up God in arguments. That'd be me breaking up with him before we even got started.

Seriously, though. Run a mile. You don't want to risk being influenced by idiots like that. And more than anything else, you're worth so much more than that. It's obvious you don't have the same philosophies as him, and if he thinks it's all right to treat minority groups like garbage, I see no reason not to treat you like garbage either. It'll come back to bite you on the backside later in life if you try and pursue a relationship with him. Trust me.

On the off chance you can teach him a better way, give him an ultimatum. If he isn't gonna be willing to change his ways and be more respectful about minority groups, you're not gonna be friends with him, talk to him, text him, do anything with him.

I know that I'd already be gone by now.

Lol, we weren't dating to begin with - but I was developing my version of "feelings" for him ( I think I'm aromantic, but that's a diffierent story) but now I'm starting to see how idk disgusting and homophobe he seems? I just also think he objectifies people too much...(Also, I am a minority myself [ and he isn't]- so I don't know how he feels about my ethnicity as a whole - even though he claims to have had his first crush on one - but thats for another thread)
Idk he just seems like one of those guys that says that and then turns around and watches lesbian porn "for hot gay women" like its gross and objectifying to be watching that and not even believe in that all of the letters of LGBTQIA+ :/
Thanks Bowie

Also, we wouldn't be in a relationship any time soon (like a year or two) we were just close friends, and he seemed to really gain feelings for me. I just can't see him the same anymore

and thanks Corrie

 

[visibleghost]

Lol, we weren't dating to begin with - but I was developing my version of "feelings" for him ( I think I'm aromantic, but that's a diffierent story) but now I'm starting to see how idk disgusting and homophobe he seems? I just also think he objectifies people too much...(Also, I am a minority myself [ and he isn't]- so I don't know how he feels about my ethnicity as a whole - even though he claims to have had his first crush on one - but thats for another thread)
Idk he just seems like one of those guys that says that and then turns around and watches lesbian porn "for hot gay women" like its gross and objectifying to be watching that and not even believe in that all of the letters of LGBTQIA+ :/
Thanks Bowie

Also, we wouldn't be in a relationship any time soon (like a year or two) we were just close friends, and he seemed to really gain feelings for me. I just can't see him the same anymore

and thanks Corrie

tbh seems like a gross person. if i were u id avoid him lol
people who are hateful and ignorant like that arent worth dealing w and in my experience they think they know best so if you try to explain why they suck to them theyll b like "let's agree to disagree :')" and then start talking about how the world is so unfair to them bc theyre a cishet white man lolllll