LGBTQA - Discussion and support.

[Mephisto Pheles]

Tape can also lead to damage to your ribcage I think.

Binding in general can cause damage if you do it for long periods of time..

But yeah, I'd recommend avoiding using that method. There are much safer ways to bind.

 

[Lady Timpani]

I think I saw a post on tumblr (a really long time ago, mind you) about creating a binder out of a muscle shirt or thermal or something. It did a really good job, from the pictures people posted. I'll see if I can find it.

 

[Mango]

hi, im panromantic and i thought:
WHY NOT COMMENT​

 

[remiaphasia]

If anyone is looking for advice on binding, or just transmale things in general, I'd recommend checking out the Self Made Men (selfmademen.com)

 

[GameLaxer]

hi, im panromantic and i thought:
WHY NOT COMMENT​

Sweet!

 

[Candypoop]

hello everyone just a question:

since im agender and dmab who happens to be sexually attracted to males and platonically attracted to females what labels would i use to describe myself? would i just say homosexual/hetromantic or something else? i don't usually like labels so i haven't really been bothered to look into them and google has a plethora of different results.

 

[Candypoop]

*bump*

 

[Zeiro]

hello everyone just a question:

since im agender and dmab who happens to be sexually attracted to males and platonically attracted to females what labels would i use to describe myself? would i just say homosexual/hetromantic or something else? i don't usually like labels so i haven't really been bothered to look into them and google has a plethora of different results.

i think you're a heteroromantic homosexual, but it's fine if you don't wanna stick to labels like that

 

[baller]

y do ppl insist on having labels? i mean r u going to go into the real world wearing a badge wit ur gender identitiy? nobody cares. brb checkin my white cisscum privilege

 

[radical6]

ehh i could make a binder, but ill need to buy the supplies first. ill look into it later

hello everyone just a question:

since im agender and dmab who happens to be sexually attracted to males and platonically attracted to females what labels would i use to describe myself? would i just say homosexual/hetromantic or something else? i don't usually like labels so i haven't really been bothered to look into them and google has a plethora of different results.

um honestly you can use whatever words. the gender you were assigned at birth has nothing to do with your gender, so you could be homosexual/homoromantic either way. there are also words like gynosexual/romantic. gynoromantic means youre attracted to feminine people (regardless of gender tho, i dont know any words just for women). and then theres androsexual which means youre sexually attracted to masculine people regardless of gender. however i do see people just use the terms to say "im only attracted to women so im gynosexual/romantic" etc.

 

[oath2order]

Well, I don't know if it's progress or not, but.. There's a character in the new game (will be called "Story of Seasons" in NA, apparently) named Marian.

Fogu says that the character is a "male doctor", but the Wikia page for the game says that the character is a trans woman.

Either way, it's good the character is there (if they're not there solely to be mocked, that is..), because if the character is a trans woman, that's trans representation. And if the character is a cis man, it's representation for gay men, because the character is said to have a boyfriend.

Take stuff on Wiki's with a grain of salt, because anybody can edit it to say "trans woman"

 

[Mephisto Pheles]

hello everyone just a question:

since im agender and dmab who happens to be sexually attracted to males and platonically attracted to females what labels would i use to describe myself? would i just say homosexual/hetromantic or something else? i don't usually like labels so i haven't really been bothered to look into them and google has a plethora of different results.

Probably not the answer you're looking for.. But you could just do what I do and opt out of labeling your romantic/sexual orientation.


Technically, I have no "preference" for any gender or sex, so some would say I'm "pansexual".. But thanks to the "Bi vs. Pan" war, I decided to avoid "picking a side" and risking offending anyone. (Which I don't have a problem with, personally - so it works for me, at least.)

Instead, if I'm attracted to someone (assuming I have the courage) I tell them. And if someone who I'm not attracted to "asks me out", I decline. I needn't even say why - just "I'm sorry.. but I don't feel that way about you".

(all that said, I'm not someone who thinks labels are "pointless" and need to be thrown out - not at all. I understand their uses, and respect them)

 

[Hana-Nezumi]

hello everyone just a question:

since im agender and dmab who happens to be sexually attracted to males and platonically attracted to females what labels would i use to describe myself? would i just say homosexual/hetromantic or something else? i don't usually like labels so i haven't really been bothered to look into them and google has a plethora of different results.

You could just say "I'm attracted to males" when you want to tell someone about your sexuality. If you're only platonically attracted to females then that's just friendship? Unless you're looking for a different word.

 

[Nix]

I personally am straight, but I don't discriminate against anyone for any reason other than their actions towards me personally. I don't understand how humans can be so ignorant and eager to throw away all their manners just because someone has a different lifestyle.

My family has some strong resentment towards the community getting married and I just don't understand it. It might also be because I am an atheist and can detach myself from the notion that it is a religious ceremony. It really isn't anymore. It's run by the government and is a big money dump. There's nothing spiritual about signing a piece of paper. Sure you can have a Christian wedding but that's only if you want to, they have weddings for atheists, so why aren't there weddings for LGBTQA in every country in America?

Another thing that bugs me is our history as a country is we came over to the US for religious equality. We came over here because we were getting forced into the Catholic church and some religious groups wanted to start their own new life over here. Now Christianity is holding the US by the foot and I don't think that's fair to anyone. I'm just glad that LGBTQA marriages are becoming recognized in more and more states. It really is a big jump considering how many people are against it. C: I'm glad we're finally moving forward.​

 

[Vida]

Technically, I have no "preference" for any gender or sex, so some would say I'm "pansexual".. But thanks to the "Bi vs. Pan" war, I decided to avoid "picking a side" and risking offending anyone. (Which I don't have a problem with, personally - so it works for me, at least

I totally understand your point but to be honest, I have never encountered "the bi vs pan war" outside the Internet. I know a couple of people in real life who are definitely pan but just call themselves bi because they either don't know the label pan or who think that the label bisexual is sufficient in itself. Ive never met anyone who identifies as bi and underlined the fact that they are only attracted to guys and girls... That said, to me, the label pansexual seems pretty unnecessary, like in "who on earth cares?". I just call myself bi even though in terms of labels, pansexual would probably be more fitting. just don't care about the small difference between bi and pan. And in real life, it's easier to just use bisexual.

 

[matt]

I'm straight. If I bend over, does that mean I'm bent?

 

[Lady Timpani]

I totally understand your point but to be honest, I have never encountered "the bi vs pan war" outside the Internet. I know a couple of people in real life who are definitely pan but just call themselves bi because they either don't know the label pan or who think that the label bisexual is sufficient in itself. Ive never met anyone who identifies as bi and underlined the fact that they are only attracted to guys and girls... That said, to me, the label pansexual seems pretty unnecessary, like in "who on earth cares?". I just call myself bi even though in terms of labels, pansexual would probably be more fitting. just don't care about the small difference between bi and pan. And in real life, it's easier to just use bisexual.

Yeah, I've actually seen quite a few people refer to themselves as bi/pan and say that they "basically mean the same thing". I've also heard from some bisexuals that the term isn't as literal as you would think-- they say that bisexuality is the attraction to two or more genders.

This is just what I've seen/heard, though, and seeing as I'm neither, I definitely wouldn't call myself an authority on the matter.

 

[Mephisto Pheles]

I totally understand your point but to be honest, I have never encountered "the bi vs pan war" outside the Internet. I know a couple of people in real life who are definitely pan but just call themselves bi because they either don't know the label pan or who think that the label bisexual is sufficient in itself. Ive never met anyone who identifies as bi and underlined the fact that they are only attracted to guys and girls... That said, to me, the label pansexual seems pretty unnecessary, like in "who on earth cares?". I just call myself bi even though in terms of labels, pansexual would probably be more fitting. just don't care about the small difference between bi and pan. And in real life, it's easier to just use bisexual.

Don't you think it's a little rude to call someone's preferred label "unnecessary"? Especially on a LGBT+ thread..


Honestly, that sort of thing is part of the reason why it's "easier to just use bisexual" - the label is often judged harshly, even within the LGBT+ community.

And while I do agree that Bi can indeed mean both "men and women only" and "any/all", depending on the person using it.. where's the harm in choosing a more specific label - one whose definition has never been debated?


It always makes me sad when I see people who choose to use the bi label speak ill of those who choose to use pan instead..
Especially when they accuse the person who identifies as pan of using the label to be "cool" (which I'm not suggesting you're doing here) - I mean, I would think that someone who identifies as bi would be more.. I don't know, sympathetic? Since bisexuals are often accused of the same exact thing.

 

[remiaphasia]

Don't you think it's a little rude to call someone's preferred label "unnecessary"? Especially on a LGBT+ thread..


Honestly, that sort of thing is part of the reason why it's "easier to just use bisexual" - the label is often judged harshly, even within the LGBT+ community.

And while I do agree that Bi can indeed mean both "men and women only" and "any/all", depending on the person using it.. where's the harm in choosing a more specific label - one whose definition has never been debated?


It always makes me sad when I see people who choose to use the bi label speak ill of those who choose to use pan instead..
Especially when they accuse the person who identifies as pan of using the label to be "cool" (which I'm not suggesting you're doing here) - I mean, I would think that someone who identifies as bi would be more.. I don't know, sympathetic? Since bisexuals are often accused of the same exact thing.

The issue is that there is literally no difference between bisexual and pansexual. None. Whoever insists that there is, is someone who doesn't understand that it's wrong to generalize a group of people because of preferences found by a number of people in the group. There's a huge amount of bi erasure in the LGBT community...and the wave of people who like to "inform" others that bisexuals are only attracted to such and such are part of it. (Honestly, if you can't define pansexuality without falsely redefining the sexuality of bisexuals, then you have some serious thinking to do).

As far as this discussion continuing outside the internet, there have been a few instances in my personal life where I've been outright accused of transphobia/erasing intersex people?????? Granted, this individual is outright crazy -- like, she can't understand why any woman who identifies as a feminist would call herself straight (GEE IDK ANDEE MAYBE BECAUSE THEY'RE STRAIGHT????????????????????). In general I think a lot of people I've met at LGBT gatherings in my city choose pansexual because it doesn't come with the negative connotation that bisexual does in conversation with your average joe on the street (which I guess is another point of bitterness for a lot of people *shrug*).

But like I said...every single attempt I've seen at defining pansexuality is just an attempt to redefine bisexuality into something that's not true, and doesn't actually highlight a real difference between them. For instance, the infamous "hearts versus parts" commentary that I'm personally very sick of seeing lol.

But you know, to each their own and that jazz.

 

[Mephisto Pheles]

The issue is that there is literally no difference between bisexual and pansexual. None. Whoever insists that there is, is someone who doesn't understand that it's wrong to generalize a group of people because of preferences found by a number of people in the group. There's a huge amount of bi erasure in the LGBT community...and the wave of people who like to "inform" others that bisexuals are only attracted to such and such are part of it. (Honestly, if you can't define pansexuality without falsely redefining the sexuality of bisexuals, then you have some serious thinking to do).

As far as this discussion continuing outside the internet, there have been a few instances in my personal life where I've been outright accused of transphobia/erasing intersex people?????? Granted, this individual is outright crazy -- like, she can't understand why any woman who identifies as a feminist would call herself straight (GEE IDK ANDEE MAYBE BECAUSE THEY'RE STRAIGHT????????????????????). In general I think a lot of people I've met at LGBT gatherings in my city choose pansexual because it doesn't come with the negative connotation that bisexual does in conversation with your average joe on the street (which I guess is another point of bitterness for a lot of people *shrug*).

But like I said...every single attempt I've seen at defining pansexuality is just an attempt to redefine bisexuality into something that's not true, and doesn't actually highlight a real difference between them. For instance, the infamous "hearts versus parts" commentary that I'm personally very sick of seeing lol.

But you know, to each their own and that jazz.

OK, wow. This sort of thing is exactly what I was talking about when I was saying how some bisexuals have zero sympathy for pansexuals.

1) There is a difference between being attracted to two genders and being attracted to any/all.
So again, if someone wants to use a label (pan) that has not been debated to describe their lack of a "preference", then that's their choice.
If someone who is only attracted to two genders and wants to use bi to mean attracted to two genders, then that's their choice.

2) Pansexuality erases no one. It does not claim to replace bi as a label.

Are there pansexual identified people who speak as though they're 'better' than bisexuals due to their lack of a preference? Yes.
But that belief is not universal.

3) For someone who had (needlessly) argued with me that "not ALL cis/straight people are bad!", you seem to have a problem with negatively stereotyping pansexuals.


And lastly; Lose the hostility and hate and just leave pansexuals alone. They're not hurting anyone.