Sexual Orientation & Gender Identity Support Thread

[Croconaw]

I have a preferred name which I absolutely love and I’m very content with he/him pronouns. Although, I’d be okay with they/them, it doesn’t feel as masculine as the former. I’m happy that even though I haven’t medically transitioned, I’m still seen as a male. I’m not sure I want top surgery. The procedure seems a little scary. I’m perfectly content wearing a binder on occasions. I don’t wear it everyday and at the time of this post, I haven’t worn it in over a month. I’d like to say that all trans identities are valid even if you don’t feel comfortable medically transitioning for whatever reason.

I wouldn’t be opposed to going on testosterone, though. I may in the future if the time is right, but I have other priorities I want to take care of right now. It doesn’t make you any less trans if you aren’t fully transitioned yet or just don’t want to. I would like to change my gender on my license to non-binary, which is the next step I’m taking. Not sure if it’ll let me change it to male without proper paperwork? I haven’t looked that far into it.

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

Even though I identify as non-binary, I feel like I'm constantly reminded that I was born a female and will forever be perceived as one. People still use the wrong name and pronouns, no matter how many times I remind them. I'm not even mad about it anymore, I'm just disappointed. Sometimes I wonder if I should just revert to identifying as cisgender to make it easier on me and everyone else, but I won't because I know it's not me. I shouldn't have to change myself 'cause others won't use the right terms. It just sucks, I guess.

 

[comingupwanameistheworst]

I've finally figured out that I'm demisexual. Ever since being a teen, I never understood everyone's obsession with sex. Sex in a relationship wasn't top priority to me and I never understood hookups or friends with benefits. I can't do that with someone who I do not have feelings for/or who I just met. People could just hookup with strangers, do the deed and leave. It's still wild to me. For years I thought I was broken or something was wrong with me for not looking at someone and immediately thinking of sex. Turns out, there's nothing wrong with me. I wish I knew this sooner but better late than never.

I'm so happy for you! As someone who is ace as well, I can understand the struggle and the confusion when it comes to not getting why others are obsessed with sex. Although in a different way. I hope you had a good pride month!

Post automatically merged: Jul 3, 2023

My parents are finally putting forth an effort to refer to me using he/him pronouns. They still have a long way to go but, that's been nice, considering I had had to endlessly argue with my mother over it and my father did not originally know, but has now been made aware. I think things are starting to look up, even if I am still a bit wary of them both where these topics are concerned.

 

[xSuperMario64x]

happy omnisexual and omniromantic visibility day to all my fellow omni folk, we are valid and totally rad

also wanted to say, growing up ace and sex-repulsed just to find out way later that you're demisexual is perhaps one of the most insane transitions an individual can experience haha ️

 

[Ravenkitty22]

happy omnisexual and omniromantic visibility day to all my fellow omni folk, we are valid and totally rad

also wanted to say, growing up ace and sex-repulsed just to find out way later that you're demisexual is perhaps one of the most insane transitions an individual can experience haha ️

Heck yeah! Happy omni visibility day! (This is basically my casual **** off to everyone who’s told me I’m either bi or pan in the few months I’ve realized I’m omni. I know myself better than you ever will.)

Also, my mom bought me a shirt that says “Love always wins” the other day and I thought that was worth celebrating! I’ve been slowly coming out to my parents (it’s definitely a process; they only believe in two genders and think I’m just bi rn. not sure how they’d feel about my asexuality), but it’s good to know they’re at least sort of supportive.

 

[-Mars-]

--

 

[Croconaw]

I didn’t think I’d be commenting here again about my identity, at least for a while, but I’m pretty sure I may actually be non-binary rather than full on transgender man. I strongly lean towards masculinity but I feel that my identity matches more with demiboy. I feel comfortable with he/they pronouns. Sometimes I prefer the latter over the former. It just depends on the day, but I’m absolutely okay with either on any given day. Just toss the feminine pronouns in the trash, lol.

I personally think my style is more androgynous than anything. It feels nice to have made this discovery. Whenever I see myself in the mirror, I see someone representing more androgynous rather than a full on man.

Another thing is that when people call me sir or a man, I could either be excited or feel “I’m not either…” It feels weird to me sometimes. I think the euphoria comes from not being referred to as female, lol.

I also have the flag in my Discord bio, but I’m wondering now if it’s disrespectful to have it if I’m not necessarily transgender? Like, I’m not identifying with female which is my gender at birth, but non-binary is a different identity in itself.

 

[xSuperMario64x]

I didn’t think I’d be commenting here again about my identity, at least for a while, but I’m pretty sure I may actually be non-binary rather than full on transgender man. I strongly lean towards masculinity but I feel that my identity matches more with demiboy. I feel comfortable with he/they pronouns. Sometimes I prefer the latter over the former. It just depends on the day, but I’m absolutely okay with either on any given day. Just toss the feminine pronouns in the trash, lol.

I personally think my style is more androgynous than anything. It feels nice to have made this discovery. Whenever I see myself in the mirror, I see someone representing more androgynous rather than a full on man.

Another thing is that when people call me sir or a man, I could either be excited or feel “I’m not either…” It feels weird to me sometimes. I think the euphoria comes from not being referred to as female, lol.

I also have the flag in my Discord bio, but I’m wondering now if it’s disrespectful to have it if I’m not necessarily transgender? Like, I’m not identifying with female which is my gender at birth, but non-binary is a different identity in itself.

ah yes trans-masc/nb solidarity

if I could ramble for a bit, I can relate to how you feel. my gender identity could technically be described as demiboy but I just prefer to use trans-masc. although in terms of my identity I'm more masculine (I actually used he/him and they/them pronouns for a long time but just recently resorted to only using he/him, though I'm still fine with they/them) my gender presentation is basically totally androgynous. so it doesn't feel right to actually identify as a trans man, but it's kinda leaning that way.

also I believe that anyone who isn't cis falls under the trans umbrella (including nb folk), so even though you're not identifying within the gender binary I would say you can still use the trans flag (if you want to, of course). but some people who are nb don't use the trans flag, and that's perfectly fine!




speaking of being trans, it's so weird. I'm very content with my identity. I'm trans-masc and omniromantic, though with a preference for men, so I'm also gay/achillean. but because I present so androgynously most people get my pronouns wrong. I've actually resorted to wearing a pronoun pin everywhere I go, even at work (my nametag has my pronouns but the words are very small so people often miss it). I almost feel like an imposter, because I'm over here feeling euphoric abt my identity and yet people refer to me as she/her so much. I'm kinda being gaslit into thinking I'm faking it.
thankfully I have some wonderful people in my life who respect my gender and identities, and even encourage me to embrace them. I appreciate those people so much

 

[Croconaw]

-snip-

I personally don’t feel connected to trans term anymore, so I think that’s all the validation I need. I’ll just be waiting for the day a non-binary flag emoji is released, because there are lots more flags than just transgender and rainbow. Emoji needs to get with the times, for real.

As someone who also has BPD, I think lacking a clear self image makes me wonder if it’s a phase but the fact that I’ve been leaning masculine since childhood shows that it isn’t. I think that I’m more recently beginning to have a clearer image of myself. I’m not relying on other people to tell me my beliefs or interests, which is something I very much struggled with in the past.

I personally feel more comfortable using he/they pronouns. My preference changes depending on the day, but it’s mostly the latter. I’m okay with either, though, like I stated.

 

[Seastar]

I think it's been a long time since I've posted here? I don't really want to check what I said out of embarrassment.
But anyway, I have figured out I'm aroace and not just ace. I've never been interested in romantic things and was kinda put under the false impression that having any sort of crush meant it was romance.

 

[pottercrossing]

It took me three years, but I finally figured out I'm aroace. Looking back, I realized that everything I thought was a romantic crush was actually just a longing for a closer friendship with that person and/or an urge to protect them. I wish I had known that before I started dating...

 

[oath2order]

I've never posted here anyways I'm cisgay what's good.

 

[xSuperMario64x]

I just made an interesting observation about myself.

so for the last month or so, I've been wearing my pronoun pin every day. I wear it whenever I go places, wherever I go, and I can happily say that people haven't misgendered me in recent memory (well, except my dad gskfhsk).

but I've noticed that my mindset about my gender identity and wearing this pin has shifted a bit. it used to be that I would wear the pin, but think to myself "I wish I didn't have to wear it", as in I wish people would just assume that my pronouns are in fact he/him. I guess there was a bit of resentment there. however, it's basically impossible for me to expect people to do that, because I present myself very androgynously (and in the case of today, I actually look more feminine). so now my sentiment is that I'm happy to wear it, that way I can really be myself and dress how I want while also ensuring that people use the correct pronouns with me.



as a side note, I love being trans and challenging the societal norm of what masculinity looks like. I'm probably more of a man than some other men are lol.

 

[xSuperMario64x]

kind of a random question but I need to know if I'm not the only one.

is anyone else here simultaneously a hopeless romantic and on the aromantic spectrum (demiro in my case)? it's honestly such a strange phenomenon to me. because like, I looove romantic things and I get into these lovey-dovey fits, but I also don't actively seek out things like romance movies/shows/books to indulge in. maybe it's because I'm also very modest, I don't quite know how to describe it
also if anyone else here is a hopeless romantic in general, I'd love some solidarity haha

 

[Croconaw]

kind of a random question but I need to know if I'm not the only one.

is anyone else here simultaneously a hopeless romantic and on the aromantic spectrum (demiro in my case)? it's honestly such a strange phenomenon to me. because like, I looove romantic things and I get into these lovey-dovey fits, but I also don't actively seek out things like romance movies/shows/books to indulge in. maybe it's because I'm also very modest, I don't quite know how to describe it
also if anyone else here is a hopeless romantic in general, I'd love some solidarity haha

I’m too much of a hopeless romantic but I’m a virgin. I can live without ever having sex. I misread “aromantic” as “asexual” lol, my bad. Oops. I think it’s difficult to find someone okay with not having sex. I’m not disgusted by it but I don’t find it necessary.

 

[.: Meri :.]

kind of a random question but I need to know if I'm not the only one.

is anyone else here simultaneously a hopeless romantic and on the aromantic spectrum (demiro in my case)? it's honestly such a strange phenomenon to me. because like, I looove romantic things and I get into these lovey-dovey fits, but I also don't actively seek out things like romance movies/shows/books to indulge in. maybe it's because I'm also very modest, I don't quite know how to describe it
also if anyone else here is a hopeless romantic in general, I'd love some solidarity haha

I'm fairly certain I'm alloromantic, but I'm on the ace-spectrum and definitely a hopeless romantic ahaha. ;v; I get lovesick moods sometimes, which are kinda fun, but make it difficult to do much other than sigh wistfully, including important things like, y'know, eating. I'm fairly picky about it but I do engage in romance media as an outlet; idk what I'd do with myself otherwise LOL

I know I don't exactly fit the bill myself but I'm quite sure you're not the only romantic aro-spec person out there either! c:

 

[Drawdler]

So I found this game called Billie Bust-Up a while ago and I forgot to mention it has a bunch of LGBT characters. I don’t know how prominent the representation is going to be ingame, but cute.

also wanted to say, growing up ace and sex-repulsed just to find out way later that you're demisexual is perhaps one of the most insane transitions an individual can experience haha ️

kind of a random question but I need to know if I'm not the only one.

is anyone else here simultaneously a hopeless romantic and on the aromantic spectrum (demiro in my case)? it's honestly such a strange phenomenon to me. because like, I looove romantic things and I get into these lovey-dovey fits, but I also don't actively seek out things like romance movies/shows/books to indulge in. maybe it's because I'm also very modest, I don't quite know how to describe it
also if anyone else here is a hopeless romantic in general, I'd love some solidarity haha

Lol, the first one is exactly me, for the second there’s my reply on the marriage thread. I really enjoy looking for romantic media actually and it often helps the fix but when it comes to real people it takes a long history together for me to develop attraction on a romantic or sexual level.
Otherwise, when I was a teen I lurked AVEN a lot since every other place I went to was like “well, aro/ace people don’t have to get in a relationship, so the representation isn’t the same as lesbian/gay”. That was my safe space to see an area that wasn’t full of the expectation/assumption of romantic/sexual attraction or media, and to see people actually discuss the emotional experience of it. To this day I want way more aro/ace representation… I’m not exactly aro but I could relate to that especially. Oh and speaking of AVEN curious if anyone remembers the meme from that place. I feel like it was also the best place I personally could have learned about orientations at the time so I’m grateful it was there.

I still haven’t really started presenting as masc irl. It’s hard knowing where to start when I want to experiment with so much.
Weirdly enough with my genderfluidity it’s kind of like being pan where I have long stretches of a masc or fem preference. I want to wear suits and ties all the time, but I don’t associate that strictly with being masc.
yes, I finally identify as pan. I did consider omni though, and honestly omni flag is the coolest one. It’s still hard not to just say I‘m bi because I prefer the blue+purple+pink look lol (pan colors are awesome though, I’m just not that sunny yet.) edit: actually double checked these terms to be safe and I guess I could just be omni? I might start using that in the future if I get more comfortable with it, it’s kind of weird to move on from being “bi” since I thought that was all it was at first and I’ve just been using it as an umbrella term for myself for a while lol

also yall who are aroace probably know by now but if it helps the term for having a sort of “friend crush” where you thought it was a crush but it’s just really really wanting to be friends? Or just really wanting to be friends in general? A lot of people call it a “squish” which tbh should just become a common term i think!

 

[pottercrossing]

So I thought I was aroace, and I was right... kind of.

It all started when I was scrolling through r/QueerVexillology, and I saw a post asking about a random flag, which turned out to be the recipromantic flag. I looked it up, and I was like, "OMG that actually fits though..."
Looking back, the few genuine romantic crushes I actually had only happened when I knew someone liked me, and everything else I thought was a romantic crush was just me wanting to be close friends with the person in question.

As for sexual attraction, it's pretty much the opposite of my situation with romantic attraction. I'm pretty sure I'm lithosexual, or akoisexual, whatever you prefer to call it. I have been attracted to people sexually, but the thought of people feeling the same towards me is incredibly repulsive. A prime example of this is back in December-April when I was dating my girlfriend. At first, I was open to "doing it" with her, but when she started to express those same feelings, I was disgusted by the idea VERY quickly.

I use the terms omniromantic/omnisexual in combination with the two labels I've described above (omniro+recipro & omni+akoi). I prefer guys romantically and girls sexually, but everyone is pretty either way.

In other news: I discovered the term boyflux, and thought that was fitting, so I added it to my little collection of labels. I've also been presenting more masculine lately, and my little cousin even referred to me as a boy at our recent family reunion! Did my grandma quickly step in to "correct" him? Yes... but at least I passed

 

[wrenbow]

-

 

[xSuperMario64x]

just gonna ramble for a bit, as I do hehe~

looking at old pictures of myself pre-transition is so strange. because honestly, even back then I thought I was pretty and, at the risk of sounding self-absorbed, a bit attractive too. I just saw a picture of myself that I believe was taken in the latter months of 2019, and my immediate thought was "wow I looked so cute in that picture."
but the thing is, I was never fully comfortable with myself. something always felt a bit... off... to me. I didn't look at myself in the mirror and truly recognize that person as myself. I guess there was a bit of a disconnect there for a while, I dare say I actually experienced some kind of dissociation. I don't know how long it was going on, but given that it's still a problem I occasionally deal with, I'd say quite a long time. then, of course, I discovered in Jan 2021 that I was actually non-binary, and I proceeded to spent the next ~6 months going through a transition to reflect that discovery.
here I am, over two and a half years later, and though I do still sometimes deal with dissociation, I think that's a by-product of other health issues and not dysphoria. I'm much more comfortable with myself now than I felt I ever was before. seeing myself the way I used to be never felt quite right, but now that I'm openly embracing being nb/trans-masc I can actually look at pictures of myself, or even look in the mirror, and be happy with who I am and who I've become I wouldn't say I'm 100% where I want to be, I still deal with dysphoria with my chest (which actually doesn't fully stem from me being trans-masc, rather me being uncomfortable with it in general, it made me uncomfortable before I even knew I was nb), so I would ideally like to go through a procedure to take care of that in the future, but I'm much happier now than I was before I transitioned.
as a random side note, I love when my mom outed me to my dad (without my permission) and he immediately blamed it on my college "feeding me [that] BS", as if I'm not a functioning adult who is capable of thinking for myself lol.

also just wanted to say I have a lot of pride in my identities now it feels nice to actually know how to describe myself properly after seeing my identities as a total dumpster fire for a while haha. I'm trans-masc (more androgynous in my presentation but I feel connected to masculinity more so), demisexual (hetero-), and demiromantic (omni-, preferring cis/trans guys). I'm also achillean bc I'm trans-masc and I prefer men (not quite mlm since I'm not in the gender binary) it's so wonderful to really know myself and be comfortable/open with who I am