The out of context quotes thread

[Yoshi155]

I just have to sign Leela’s birthday card. How do you spell X-O?

 

[Suguri]

Alright, Petey! I'm taking you to jail!

Why? What'd I do???

You escaped on page 27, remember?

Oh, yeah.

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"Wow! We were all dying, and now we're fine! That's super!"

 

[Suguri]

My, what a splendid book, my good man!

Let me adjust my monocle so I may imbibe its essence more indubitably!

Those aren't monocles! They're just rings from plastic milk jugs!

What? We can't use our imaginations anymore?

 

[Yoshi155]

Behold: a time traveling machine!

Time? I can’t go back there!

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"Hey everybody, this is never gonna work. Don't you see? All this dividin' up the town, it's just ridiculous... What we really should be doing, is just beatin' the hell out of each other like we were."

"He's right. Boy, do I feel like a fool."

*Everyone resumes fighting and beating each other up*

 

[Yoshi155]

Relax, Fry. Everyone we ever knew died thousands of years ago.

Everyone we knew? Eh, I never liked those guys.

 

[Plainbluetees]

Oh, but I will. Even if I have to come back tomorrow. And the next day, and the next day, and the next day, and the next day, and the next day, and the next day, and the next day, and the next day, and the next day, and the next day, and the next day, and the next day...
Phone call, Mr. Plankton.
And the next day, and the next day, and the next day, and the next day.....
AHHHHHHHHH!

 

[QueenCobra]

“I don’t mean to scare you, but I’ve eaten an apple before.”
—my little cousin, about a week ago

 

[Yoshi155]

Fry stood me up and died? I’m so angry! I mean, I’m so sad. But I’m still pretty angry! But also sad. Can I be both?

It’s what he’d want.

 

[Firesquids]

"No! No! No! I wanted the pit there and the pendulum there!"

 

[Suguri]

Yo, I'm a communicatin' fool, man!

Me too, man!

 

[Yoshi155]

You know, all in all, I had a good life. What do you say the three of us grab a six pack and watch the universe end?

Hear, hear!

That’s basically what I do every day.

 

[Midoriya]

*Some random kid turns on the GameCube and starts up Ribbit King, as the opening cutscene plays and Scooter walks in to see the king*

"AH, It's Scooter! Thank you for coming!"

"Do you need me for something, king?"

"Well, to tell you the truth, we have a bit of a problem... um, well, you see..."

*But before the cutscene can continue, a funky but well educated butler walks in*

"KING, I am back from my mission! I have found zee Super Ribbonite you were looking for."

*The butler reveals the new supply of Super Ribbonite in his hands and drops it on the ground while everyone looks shocked*

"B-but, how did you do it? I was supposed to send Scooter here on a mission to go play golf with frogs against whacky opponents until he could challenge someone so strong that he could get the lifetime supply!"

"King, allow me to explain. When I was checking the space comms I heard something amiss, namely a certain GUMBAH-GOO out to get revenge against the empire by stealing the Super Ribbonite supply for himself. I enlisted the help of Goku from Dragon Ball Z to quickly defeat this opponent. Ya see, in the 7 seconds Goku arrived and flying Nimbus farted on a flying potato, I switched out the real Super Ribbonite with a fake one while Gumbah-Goo wasn't looking. The result, my good sir, is what you see now."

*Everyone continues to look shocked until the king finally speaks up*

"O-oh, I see. Huh, you really do get around, don't you." (geez, I hope I don't have to promote him later!)

 

[Yoshi155]

Come on! You have to go outside to do your… business.

The experts say that if you want an animal to do something, you should do it yourself.

I’m not going to the bathroom in the backyard!

Sheesh. Sorry, your Majesty.

 

[Yoshi155]

There’s gotta be a way out of this. *gasps* Lisa, chop off my hands!

No! Then who’d chop off my hands?

All right, you chop my hands halfway off and then I’ll have enough strength to-

Get to work!

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“I think if we learned anything today, it's that Naked is NOT beautiful.”

 

[rocketspruggs]

"Bonjour, art lovers. Tonight, for your viewing enjoyment, we present a portrait painted in shades of greed."

 

[Yoshi155]

You wrecked Hitler’s car! What did he ever do to you?

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“I’ve just noticed that as a robot, I am naked and it feels wonderful!”