The out of context quotes thread

[rocketspruggs]

"Listen up, happy Krustomers! For the low price of a quarter, now you, too, can make that important call while you're eating a krabby patty!"

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"What the hell are you doing, Cartman?!"

"I'm killing you. But unfortunately, I could only afford a wiffle ball bat, so it's gonna take a while." *hits Kyle*

"Cartman!"

"Don't fight it, Kyle. It will only take longer. Just slip into sweet unconsciousness." *hits Kyle again*

 

[Yoshi155]

^lol loved that scene

Gee, I’d hate to close you down. Maybe we can reach a little, uh, understanding here. *holds out his hand*

I understand.

…um, hey, Dad? I think he wants-

Not right now, son. Daddy’s talking to a policeman.

Let me put it this way. I’m looking for my friend “Bill.” Have you seen any “Bills” around here?

No. He’s Bart.

…listen carefully, and watch me wink as I speak, ok?

Ok.

The guy I’m really looking for, wink, is Mr. “Bribe,” wink wink.

It’s a ring toss game.

That’s it. I’m shutting this game down.

 

[Plainbluetees]

ya ya ya I am lorde

 

[Suguri]

I want my whisker back! I want my money back! I WANT MY LIFE BACK!

 

[xSuperMario64x]

"and with this, we've beaten Super Mario 64 as a madman on a pogo stick" - SwankyBox

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

*A nudist version of Winston Churchill’s voice is heard off screen*
“Let’s play volleyball!”
“Okay, now that’s just wrong.”
*Otto screams as he covers his eyes*
“MY EYES!!!!!!!!”

 

[Yoshi155]

Carnies took over our house! You gotta help us!

Well, well, look who’s here. Mr. No Bribe. Sure, we’ll help you. Just sit down and wait for detective Like-I-Give-A-Damn.

Thank you so much.

Dad?

Honey, Daddy’s waiting for the detective.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

*A nudist Winston Churchill is talking to Stalin and FDR*
“Being naked is such a free feeling! Why don’t you join me in a naked barbecue?”
“Count us in!”
*Jump to Otto and Tuddrussell watching in horror as the two men get naked off screen. Tuddrussell is disgusted and Otto is horrified and screams while covering his eyes*
“MY EYES AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!”

 

[QueenCobra]

”Hey, everybody, it’s Leif Erikson Day! Hinga dinga durgen!”

 

[Yoshi155]

We’re having a free get-acquainted session at our resort this weekend.

How much is this free resort weekend?

It’s free.

And when is this weekend?

It’s this weekend.

Uh-huh. And how much does it cost?

Um… it’s free.

I see. And when is it?

It’s this weekend.

And what are you charging for this free weekend?

 

[Suguri]

My friends, to victory!

To victory!!!

I don't play World of Warcraft.

...Butters, you said you're always on your computer.

Yeah, but I'm playing Hello Kitty Island Adventure.

 

[Yoshi155]

^Yes more South Park content lol

It certainly is a beautiful day. We should thank the Leader.

Who the hell is that? Some kind of leader?

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"Dude, that's not extreme enough! My parents aren't gonna learn their lesson from having some crap smeared on their walls! I want them to see what they did was wrong! I want them to have to admit that they lied to me!"

"Okay, okay, fine. I just... My first idea. That's why we have these consultations... Oh, wait, this is nice. How about this: Uh, we'll lure your parents out of the house, and then we'll kill them. Uh, we'll cut them up into little pieces and feed them to the dog."

"Dude!"

"Extreme enough for you? How's Wednesday?"

"No, that's too extreme!"

*sigh* "Well, first it's not extreme enough and then it's too extreme. Where do you want it?"

"Just forget it, Cartman! You don't know what you're doing!"

"I am a professional, sir!"

 

[QueenCobra]

“Someone should put you in a box floating down the river, Grandma!”

 

[Suguri]

Look, I'm the leader here. Mundane work like gathering info just doesn't suit me. Besides, I tried talking to a few people here and there, but they got all nervous and stuff! I'm just too pretty for my own good.

 

[Yoshi155]

Will there be beer?

Beer is not allowed.

Homer no function beer well without.

 

[rocketspruggs]

"Mr. Krabs, I'm all dressed up and ready to snorkel."

"Wait a second..."

"Uh, Mr. Krabs, where's your ship?"

"Something smells fishy."

"Don't get your mizzenmast in a twist, I got your ship right here.

Parts of the ship crash on SpongeBob and Squidward as Mr. Krabs opens the box.

"Some assembly required."

"We have to build the ship?"

"Yay! We get to build the ship!"

"Premade vessels are for landlubbers, real sailors build their own ships. Now get to work, you two! And as an old navy man, I'll be responsible for the most difficult part."

"And that would be?"

"Supervising."

Mr. Krabs snores.

""Old navy man"? Ha! More like, "old lazy man"."

 

[Suguri]

You've got a whole lifetime of evilness ahead of you! And this evil robot can achieve all of your rotten dreams!

Can he play hide-and-seek?

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"You wanted to see me, Larry?"

"My name is Sam!"

"Whatever."

"Take a chair!!!"

"OK. I'll take this one."

"HEY! Where do ya think you're going?"

"You said I could t—"

"SIT DOWN!"

"I'm still keeping the chair, Larry!"

"Look—We've had tons of complaints about your show! You're mean to the children, you're rude to the staff, you don't show up to work, you tell lies constantly, you steal people's lunches, you've got poor hygiene... You're the WORST employee we've ever HAD!"

"Oh, yeah? Well, you're BALD!!!"

"GET OUT OF HERE! YOU'RE FIRED!"