The out of context quotes thread

[Midoriya]

"Hypothesis -- Master has decided to use my summer proposal: Replace the HDD system wallpaper with an HD image of a pool, set the heater to 40 degrees Celsius and wind to level 7, and play some intrusive crowd sound effects."

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Legally, I’m supposed to tell you that if you have any problems, feel free to come to me for assistance.”
“Oh.”
“Please don’t.”

 

[QueenCobra]

“Listen, I’m done being a f’ing doctor. I have AIDS, cancer, diabetes, and a really bad ear infection. I also have severe eczema. Yes, I said eczema.”

 

[QueenCobra]

“Gee, it sure is boring around here.”

“Mah BOI, this peace is what all true warriors strive FOR.”

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"The most important thing about poker is being able to hide your emotions, so that no one knows what's in your hand..." *Looks at cards* "ARE YOU ****ING KIDDING ME?!"

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“We broke up. It just wasn’t working out.”
“Oh. I thought you two would be together forever.”
“Well yeah, you’d think.”
*Other Heather interrupts*
“We’re not together any more either.”
“Yeah, I figured that you two wouldn’t last very long.”
“What is that supposed to mean?!”
*Other Heather’s boyfriend who looks like an 80s gay stereotype looks uncomfortable*

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"Alright, it seems that the evidence is split. And where is the third victim?"

"He can't give a statement, his jaw is broken."

"Well, can't he write one?"

"Nope, can't write. His hand is broken."

"Jesus..."

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“That’s my curious Cassie, always asking things like ‘Why don’t I look anything like you?’ ‘How come I don’t have a father?’ ‘Why do I look like the girl on the milk carton?’ Oh, that reminds me. I need milk. Anyway, finders keepers, end of discussion.”
“Ok. Um it’s my birthday this weekend, the big one-six, the day I become a woman.”
“Oh I remember the day I took you home from the hospital- after having you, of course. I’m not barren. You’re my joy, my reason for living. And that’s why I have never regretted not taking you back.”

 

[SkyKnight03]

"Your life is EVERYTHING! You serve ALL PURPOSE! You should treat yourself NOW! And give yourself, a piece of that oxygen, in the ozone layer, that's covered up so then you can breathe in this blue trapped bubble! 'Cause you know I'm here for it! To worship YOU! Love YOURSELF! I mean that with a hundred percent! With a thousand percent"!

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Aren’t you afraid of clowns?”
“Yes! But this one’s cute! Look! He even has eyes like mine!”
*Nickelwise stares at the Warner Siblings in confusion over them not being frightened by him*

 

[Yukari Yakumo]

"The Iranian yogurt is NOT the issue here!"

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"Dr. Dye? What kind of name is that?"

 

[SkyKnight03]

'Yes. Thank you, naive human. Now, I can finish taking over the world".

 

[Midoriya]

*scene of humans sitting idly by as Justin starts shaking uncontrollably and an alien bursts out of him and he dies*

"AHHHHHH!! Justin is dead!"

*a bunch of other aliens join the new one and they gang up on the group and corner them*

"Everyone, run! They're going to kill us!"

*but instead of finishing off the rest of the humans, one of them takes out a jukebox and presses the on button, and "Specialz" from Jujutsu Kaisen starts playing on it as they start dancing*

"Um... what are they doing?"

"I'm not sure."

*The song continues with, 'I love you baby!' as they continue dancing*

"Um, what is that?"

"I believe that's the worm."

*one of the aliens awkwardly flops on its belly as the others cheer it on*

*as the song ends with 'We are special, real special' all of the aliens finish with extravagant poses in front of the humans*

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, yeah, I think I'm going to forget I ever saw that."

"Which part?"

"All of it."

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

*Red bumps into the Big Dog and loses her glasses and jump to the viewer seeing him out of focus. Red then puts her glasses back on*
“Granny! *Cut to a photo of Granny from the Beverly Hillbillies before jumping back to the scene* WHAT big eyes you have! And what a BIG scab you have! * Grabs nose and pulls it off* And what a big BUTT you have! * Squeezes Big Dog’s neck and he spits out a butterfly* Oh, I almost forgot. I brought you a PRESENT, Granny.”
“Is it cheesecake? *Little Dog puts Big Dog’s nose back on*”
“Now close your eyes,”
*Little Dog closes his eyes*
“It’s gotta be cheesecake! I know it’s cheesecake! I LOVE cheesecake!”
“SURPRIIIIIIIISE!”
*Little Dog opens his eyes and screams. Cut to the Big Dog wearing granny glasses, a shawl, and granny cap*
“You’re beautiful, Granny!”
“What’s a granny?”
“I dunno.”
“And I brought this great BIG basket of goodies for you too, Granny!”
*Little Dog points at the Big Dog*
“YOU’RE a granny! When do we eat?”
“Hee hee hee! Silly, mister! We can only eat this basket of GOODIES in the warmth and safety of Granny’s woodsy cottage!”
“Where’s that?”
“Deep in the woodly woods. FOLLOW me! I know exactly where we’re going.”
*Red as she sings the Overture of 1812 and skipping*
“Tra la la la la la LA la la! Tra la la la-!”
*Red crashes face first into a tree and is dazed and wobbling and speaks in a goofy voice*
“Follow me!”
*Red as she walks in a stumbled manner towards the edge of a cliff*
“ Tra la la la la la la la. Tra la la la la-.”
*Red spins around twice on the edge of the cliff*
“Tra la la-*Screams as she falls off. Cartoon plane falling and crashing sounds are heard. Jump to the bottom of the cliff where the Dogs meet Red and stare at her as she gets up briefly*
“Maybe you should lead, Granny.”
*Red falls down backwards*

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"May I have a word with you?"

"No."

"It's an emergency, sir!"

"Come back when it's a catastrophe."

 

[SkyKnight03]

"Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm".

 

[Suguri]

I am a SPAMMER Its all my life is about
-STORMTROOPER88888, aka Jeremy

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"I need plenty of wholesome, nutritious alcohol."

 

[QueenCobra]

"You really want to be eliminated on this show. It’s on par with being at the dentist’s office.”