The out of context quotes thread

Three tickets to Bentonville, Arkansas, please.

Wait! Guys! Hold on! I wanna go with you and help out.

No way! You wanna go with us so you can betray us at some point and keep us from destroying the Wall-Mart.

Nuh-uh.

Yeah-huh! You wanna go with us so that later you go, “Haha! I was working for Wall-Mart all along!” or something.

I am not, Kyle!

Dude, just let him come. The bus is about to leave. *goes to the bus*

All right, fine. Come on, fatass! *goes to the bus*

*while pulling out a knife* Haha. You fools have no idea that I would never let you hurt the Wall-Mart!

*runs outside* I heard that!

You heard what?

You said we have no idea that you’re never gonna let us hurt Wall-Mart!

That’s not what I said!

Dude, come on!

He’s working for the Wall-Mart to stop us from succeeding!

Dude, we have to go!

Goddamnit! *goes on the bus*

Well, hurry up if you’re coming, Cartman! *goes on the bus*

Hehe. You stupid fools have no idea that I'm actually working for the Wall-Mart to stop you from succeeding!
 
Hey, you have a good time last night?

Smurftacular.

Yeah, I saw you leave with Smurfette.

Oh man, as soon as we got out of the bar, she started smurfing me.

*in disbelief* Shut the smurf up!

Yeah!

Right in the smurfin’ parking lot?

Smurf yeah!

Oh, that is freaking smurf!
 
Oh my goodness, what’s going on?

Sorry, Ms. Cartman, but your son took some things that didn't belong to him.

Oh, I’ve told him to respect people's property. What did he take?

He stole ballots in all the swing states so the wrong person was elected president.

Oh, well, no TV for him for a few days.
 
Haha, Butters got asked out by a fat girl.

At least she didn’t try to sit on him.

*all of the boys laugh*

You guys, come on. That’s not cool. You shouldn’t rip on her because she’s fat. You should rip on her because she’s ugly, okay? She looks like someone hit her in the face with a hot shovel, and that’s why she sucks, alright?
 
Milhouse saw the elephant twice and rode him once, right?

Yes, but we paid you four dollars.

Well, that was under our old price structure. Under our new price structure, your bill comes to a total of $700. Now, you’ve already paid me four dollars, so that’s just $696 more that you owe me.

(pause)

Get off our property.
 
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