What's bothering you?

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gah I'm taking a coworkers shift on saturday, then today our other coworker (there's only the three of us) asked me if I could take hers on sunday too. ;c so now I'm working straight from tuesday until sunday with only friday off. it's not like I need to sleep or anything, 50 hours in 6 days is totally fiiiiine /whhyyyy

why can't I say no to people ;-;

just realized that I'm working a party next saturday too, so after this nonsense I get monday off, back to work tues-thurs, then party on saturday. ;l I want to crawl away and hide..
 
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I see signatures with edited art everywhere. There's no credits on the signature or they
source weheartit/google/someone on DA who made a render. It's kind of rude as it is
extremely offensive to take art and edit/use it without the artists' permission :(
 
I got racing thoughts and I'm still irrationally obsessing about things that aren't true.
I also don't want to go to school tomorrow? I always say I'll skip, but I end up going.
 
can i seriously just die?

im done.

i cant do this.

im so ****ing sick of sitting here going crazy

one happy day is all i ask for

but yet im always doing something wrong

why dont you do this

why dont you do that

seriously? when will something i do EVER BE RIGHT?

so ****ing done. ive never wanted to just bash my head in so hard
 
my printer stopped working essentially whilst it started printing the title page. i'm going to set my printer on fire.
 
can i seriously just die?

im done.

i cant do this.

im so ****ing sick of sitting here going crazy

one happy day is all i ask for

but yet im always doing something wrong

why dont you do this

why dont you do that

seriously? when will something i do EVER BE RIGHT?

so ****ing done. ive never wanted to just bash my head in so hard

but ur gold on superior moba
 
@littlemiss We seem to from what have seen on several threads have a bit in common. If you are still having relationship issues as I am with my fianc? and in that place where you need to talk or it happens again as with me I know it will. I am around just message me.

As far as what's bothering me right now, being misunderstood. I posted a question about Smugs trying to decide who to get I like advice from experience of others and get a post why ask us make up your own mind...well thanks for taking the time to post that for what...to make me feel alone and bad. Accomplished.
Being sick, disabled to the point I am so weak I am fighting to be able to drive today to the grocery and lift drink get what I need get home. Broke until Friday. Missed Gone With the Wind on the big screen anniversary will try again weds if miss that too or can't get to store, I am frustrated with myself and my body but I am disabled from a rare disease and we don't have home doctors anymore these days and I am just tired of it.

My fianc? and I use that loosely,I knew younger was an issue, trying to go to school double time to be done at a point by next June to get married but we aren't talking he is working sixteen hr days beside that for us...he says but I see him now maybe two days a week for a couple hrs...he is tired and snappy. Told me took Halloween weekend off, to plan to go out of town or away some such in Nov I think it is my engagement ring, he is pre med but stopping before dr and took over my medical isn't there when I need him is handling appts aren't being made. He when we met was younger than me 21 he had turned I just turned 30 now has been over 7 months we were engaged within 6 weeks, he was on medicine for reverse ADHD and it was having effects blocking testosterone or hormone something he was sweet so sweet we dealt with that I waited for him to come off that medicine but I thought his mood would be handled and hypo then hyper activity with something else after. Now he is not the same he snaps yes he is busy I am not priority one as he said would always be, he is in school I did that already he is changing I knew this would happen. When I do see him he is tired passes out or is snappy or doesn't call bc is snappy...well I am here alone and if I am wishing I had someone to be there like he was and be supportive or if I really need someone but wishing that means I'm not happy and I don't know how to say that without it sounding like I want him gone I don't I want him back. Yes it will all die down..but just in time to get married, my family is not a landing place ever if I leave and something happens I am out on my own. He was there no matter how sick he helped me in a way I couldn't imagine anyone would stayed with me while people were gone, the past few months and now I am lonely yes he is busy but I still think my feelings matter just bc I can't work am done with school doesn't mean I don't need a life but that needs to be people. I alwayss had time in school to have my relationships. He never talks I never used to I let my wall down now he is like every guy stop talking let me talk, but he repeats things he tells me about things I know I don't like playing dumb giving up what I like that was what he used to like about me and apparently it's not me. But it effects me, He used to say if I ever left he would have no meaning now I feel it's me that would stop I already have bc he is so absent then wants to stay in but I am always in here. I think if I said now go live your life there isn't space for me he wouldn't say no and cry like before I am already so far out of his life maybe not mind but life that I think he would just go leaving a horrible mess behind him that won't ever heal. I don't know how to talk to him without putting him offensive. He can't see my side of what my life is when he is doing his, and I don't know how to approach the we have a problem, I love him I don't want someone else but I am not happy. I'm in a depression I had to realize again that I can't live for him but I can't just go out all my friends couldn't take my being sick have lives families work, busy. I have no one he got mad bc I said that and he was like what about me...but he isn't there. I think he is so busy a week flies by then another and he doesn't the drifting. It's all I see.
 
He used to tell me I needed to get used to being loved, he used to just be here when I needed him he used to love me more than I thought anyone could or I deserved he made me believe in him...where is he, now that he made me believe again when I gave up where is he now while I lay here day after day waiting sick and stuck in bed in this dark room for days in the same position where is he now...has he changed that much...I can't I just can't...sigh and someone took my car disability tag then got in an accident they lost my spare they aren't disabled..people. Yes my family is terrifying yes I thought he was my saving grace now he is I don't know..Does he love me is he so young that he thought he was I don't believe that not after all the roses and gifts and help and asking my father for my hand and all he said I knew he was too good to be true..I knew..

- - - Post Merge - - -

Yeah fever sucks, mine is normally around 102 always but lately very very high I know what is wrong what tests need done but don't even have a normal doctor and ins problems now I put everything in hands of people who just can't do what they said. Man I hate that I even feel sorry for myself so shy I can't speak in public speak here but what did that get me, the most horrible hurtful thing are words and some people don't think. So people are bothering me and lack of people lol what a contradiction.
 
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