Beware impending rant sorry ;~;
In short, I have no close female friends. It is becoming waaay more depressing than it should be and idk I feel terrible.
It's not like I have no female friends, though. I have a few, on variying levels of closeness but none that I could ever truly open up to. I have a couple of ver very close male friends but there are just some things only other girls can really understand and so I end up never telling anyone. It doesn't help that I go to a selective school where there are only 30 girls in our year group of 150, and most people live very far away from the school anyway. It's upsetting while my brother can visit his friends who live around the corner whenever but I would have to go on a 30+ minute bus/car ride to see anyone.
I'm also relatively nervous around other girls as I often feel intimidated for no reason, probably due to the fact that the people who pretty much bullied me relentlessly or let me down when I was younger were primarily female.
But idk I just want someone who I can be fully open with and who I can go shopping with and whatever and I've never had that. It's ridiculously depressing.