My very close friend is dating a guy who is verbally and emotionally abusive. It's been going on for years but she's so attached to him she doesn't care. It makes me furious but I try not to get involved, and just be supportive because she comes to me with a lot of their problems. This isn't really news.
But what happened just recently is that he left (again), told her he was done after some stupid fight they had. Told her he was moving out, and he wanted the rent he had paid for their place back
that day so he could go find another place. She was devastated, and basically told me she didn't know what to do with her life because she had invested so much time into the relationship and this future with him. We had a long talk about it, and like I said, before I tried not to even give my opinion about it one way or the other because it's none of my business.
[We have had this talk many times as he leaves her constantly and says they are done, calls her horrible things, it practically destroys her, then he comes back and she happily takes him back]
But she asked me what I thought, so I told her honestly.
I basically said that I understand how attached she is to him, but to try to think of it as an opportunity to get to know herself, and not just as his girlfriend. That this has been going on for too long and even though she is trying hard to keep them together, he is obviously not making an effort whatsoever (I mean he threatens to break up with her like every week for gods sake) so she needs to think hard about whether it's even worth the constant bull****. And that whether she lets him go or they get back together, it's her decision and I'll support her either way. And I don't mean to be harsh, but I just want her to be happy because she is honestly one of the best people I know.
We both got pretty emotional and I felt like she was finally seeing the relationship for what it is, and understanding that she deserves better.
This was about a week ago, and I'm texting her today and she says about being tired and wanting to go to sleep, but "[insert *******'s name] is coming home at 9 so I have to make him dinner".
I love her dearly and I will support her either way as I said, but I cannot express how sad that last sentence made me.
