What's Bothering You?

I can't believe I honestly got told "stop being so sensitive" how emotionless and cold do I need to be to satisfy people?
It hate it when people put others down for "being sensitive", yet shame people for not crying/being sensitive to certain things. Like, what do you want from us? We are all emotionally wired differently.
 
The universe decided to hate me with this sequence of events. I got no sleep last night from stress and my sleep schedule was messed up but I had to be up early so I just decided to go sleepless. I really tried my hardest at my appointment and it was going somewhere and means something to me but a laundry pipe broke and started covering the floor in water. And that happened twice. Of course I woke up to my parents fighting over it twice. At least this time something happened and they aren’t arguing over dust or something so menial but I basically got no rest after my session and this has to stop. None of this has anything to do with me but both of my parents still involve me with the “stop you’ll wake [me] up” or “she said/did this [from decades ago, why dont you yell at her”.

it took me until this year to learn how to cry. Maybe someday i can learn to sleep but i think something that simple will be a lifelong fight. I am now running on 1.5h sleep and for the last two weeks have gotten 4 hours on most dayys
 
I've had 4hrs sleep and I have an 8am doctors appointment. I just want to go back to sleep but after being sick for weeks I can't justify not going. 🥱
 
I woke up just go to to the bathroom about an hour ago, but it turned into me being on my phone for an hour, lol. I should go back to sleep. Luckily, I’ll still end up with a decent amount of sleep with the hour or two I got before, plus the additional 7-8 hours I’ll get once I go back to sleep.
 
In a blue moon I get labeled a singer because someone wants me to sing or they found out I was in choir in middle school (over 15 years ago). I correct them and say not really or I don't sing, or I don't have an interest. And they still insist, I'm a singer 🙄. Why?!
I'm just kinda tired of it. It's rare when I sing by myself as it is. I don't have any drive to sing unless it's a community kind of thing... And I have no desire to have a microphone over that what so ever. Singing isn't an interest. I'm not a very expressive person. Idk why I get targeted now and then like that?
 
🙂

wish people could stop using this in serious conversation cause it's literally the most "**** you man"/friendzone emoji ever lol
 
Been sick with covid for the past few days, thought I'd be better by now but I'm still not. Wanting to rest but also have important work to finish before christmas. It's 3am and I can't even sleep cus all I can think about are the deadlines drawing closer and closer. The stress is killing me more than this virus.
 
10 hours later and it's still freezing in my room 😭
i'm sitting here waiting for my video visit w the doctor to start, and I don't want to look really unprofessional but I'm seriously so close to covering up in my heated blanket.
 
I really ****ing hate how my family says that “being lgbtq+ is a choice.” Like, are you serious? If I had any choice in the matter I wouldn’t choose to be this complicated and have identities that are barely known!
 
In pain and can't sleep. Also been up and down a lot tonight and feeling guilty about that cos the Mrs is up for work at 6:30am. 😕
 
I'm ready to chuck my work phone out the window and forget about it (for 2 weeks at least). When I spoke to my counselor a couple weeks ago she said to practice a bit of gratitude with my crews...and I tried at least. Couldn't really do a good send off for my favourite crew as half of them are on leave. Got some stuff for another crew and they were all good. But my least favourite crew...my God are they difficult. I just haven't worked out the best way to deal with the foreman, it's like he's out there to make life difficult for me. He's just a pain in the ass and puts me in such a crap mood everytime I see him or speak to him. I think I just need to get over myself.
 
How does one deal with grief? Also, how does one deal with hope that a relative will be ok? I’m struggling with both at the same time, and I don’t know what to feel. I can’t even cry because of this turmoil.
 
I really ****ing hate how my family says that “being lgbtq+ is a choice.” Like, are you serious? If I had any choice in the matter I wouldn’t choose to be this complicated and have identities that are barely known!
not only that but why would someone choose to identify in a way that makes them a target of hate and bullying? there's literally no logic there, people who say stuff like that are basically just saying "yeah im homophobic and I hate LGBT+ people, so what?"


I have stuff I need to do today, but not only am I really cold again but I was woken up pretty early this morning bc I had to drive to get my dad (his alternator gave out on his way to work). so I'm still exhausted bc I haven't had enough time to rest, and being cold really doesn't help. ig I'll have to suck it up and go do what I need to do so I can get back to being warm 😅
 
My meds are suppressing my appetite. Managed a third of dinner last night. Brunch was two pieces of leftover paneer pakora. Someone offered to treat me to dinner, but I'm not hungry so it consists of six chicken nuggets and a virgin piña colada. 😕
 
Feeling like I have a cold starting and I bet it's from that guy at work who blew his nose the whole shift & was coughing.

Spoiler for grossness
I woke up coughing and spat into the sink and it was bloody? I swear to god bro why would you come to work sick as a dog, I'm pissed since I've already had covid twice this year
 
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