What's Bothering You?

🙂

wish people could stop using this in serious conversation cause it's literally the most "**** you man"/friendzone emoji ever lol
 
Been sick with covid for the past few days, thought I'd be better by now but I'm still not. Wanting to rest but also have important work to finish before christmas. It's 3am and I can't even sleep cus all I can think about are the deadlines drawing closer and closer. The stress is killing me more than this virus.
 
10 hours later and it's still freezing in my room 😭
i'm sitting here waiting for my video visit w the doctor to start, and I don't want to look really unprofessional but I'm seriously so close to covering up in my heated blanket.
 
I really ****ing hate how my family says that “being lgbtq+ is a choice.” Like, are you serious? If I had any choice in the matter I wouldn’t choose to be this complicated and have identities that are barely known!
 
In pain and can't sleep. Also been up and down a lot tonight and feeling guilty about that cos the Mrs is up for work at 6:30am. 😕
 
I'm ready to chuck my work phone out the window and forget about it (for 2 weeks at least). When I spoke to my counselor a couple weeks ago she said to practice a bit of gratitude with my crews...and I tried at least. Couldn't really do a good send off for my favourite crew as half of them are on leave. Got some stuff for another crew and they were all good. But my least favourite crew...my God are they difficult. I just haven't worked out the best way to deal with the foreman, it's like he's out there to make life difficult for me. He's just a pain in the ass and puts me in such a crap mood everytime I see him or speak to him. I think I just need to get over myself.
 
How does one deal with grief? Also, how does one deal with hope that a relative will be ok? I’m struggling with both at the same time, and I don’t know what to feel. I can’t even cry because of this turmoil.
 
I really ****ing hate how my family says that “being lgbtq+ is a choice.” Like, are you serious? If I had any choice in the matter I wouldn’t choose to be this complicated and have identities that are barely known!
not only that but why would someone choose to identify in a way that makes them a target of hate and bullying? there's literally no logic there, people who say stuff like that are basically just saying "yeah im homophobic and I hate LGBT+ people, so what?"


I have stuff I need to do today, but not only am I really cold again but I was woken up pretty early this morning bc I had to drive to get my dad (his alternator gave out on his way to work). so I'm still exhausted bc I haven't had enough time to rest, and being cold really doesn't help. ig I'll have to suck it up and go do what I need to do so I can get back to being warm 😅
 
My meds are suppressing my appetite. Managed a third of dinner last night. Brunch was two pieces of leftover paneer pakora. Someone offered to treat me to dinner, but I'm not hungry so it consists of six chicken nuggets and a virgin piña colada. 😕
 
Feeling like I have a cold starting and I bet it's from that guy at work who blew his nose the whole shift & was coughing.

Spoiler for grossness
I woke up coughing and spat into the sink and it was bloody? I swear to god bro why would you come to work sick as a dog, I'm pissed since I've already had covid twice this year
 
tfw you get up at 5am and go into the bathroom for like 10 seconds and just in that short time frame you start freezing 😭

if I'm not mistaken today's literally the first day of the winter solstice so I definitely won't be without freezing mornings for a while...
 
I realized I cannot wear my binder to work on certain days because my shifts are 10 hours long on the days. My two other days are half days where I only work in the morning, so I guess I’ll wear it then and over my days off.
 
the more time goes on the less executive functioning I seem to have. like I seriously thing it's getting worse thr older I get. I don't know what to do about it anymore. all I know is I've been struggling a great deal just to fulfill my basic needs, like taking a shower, doing laundry, keeping my room clean, washing dishes, etc. and I honestly feel pretty pathetic and ashamed of myself because of it. I can't even function like a normal person anymore. and nothing ive tried to do seems to make it any better.
 
*Sigh* I can never seem to catch a break that either someone in my family or myself is coughing or facing some sort of illness. I'm doing fine at the moment, but my dad is just coughing badly again after feeling better a few days ago. I hate whatever is circulating in the house as it's been going on for pretty much a month now. I wouldn't be surprised if I got sick a few days later and it'll be tiring facing it once again.
 
Back
Top