What's Bothering You?

My drawing skills are still like that of a child and I'm extremely limited in what I can draw without getting frustrated and giving up. You're supposed to keep practicing to get better but that's never really worked for me. The last time I tried to draw (I wanted to make a Pokemon OC) I couldn't draw anything without erasing it and I just gave up because there's no point if I'm frustrated and not having fun...
I drew a squid I was kinda proud of earlier this year but I haven't made much progress on anything else.
 
downloading discord cuz I kinda wanna use it during the camp event but it was one of my former-fiancé’s chosen methods of cheating on me and just looking at the icon is making me sick and want to cry
 
Ibis Paint X isn't working for me anymore. I can't even open the app 'cause it'll straight up not work when I click on it. I updated my Chromebook recently (last time I didn't update it everything was slow and laggy to the point where it was unbearable, so I didn't really have much of a choice) and I'm wondering if that has anything to do with it. I don't know how to fix this problem, and it really sucks 'cause I have a lot of art on it (and I don't save it to my device either).

Edit: The app shows up on my 'continue where you left off' tab, so maybe it's sort of working in a technical sense, but I'm not getting the image. The past few times I used the app, the screen would stay frozen on it momentarily when I closed it, so I probably caused some sort of glitch. Don't know if this could help solve my problem, but it's a thought I had.
 
I walk barefoot in cat vomit twice (each foot), I had a big spider in my hair and my guess for count inside the bottle was way too high.
 
I just woke up from a dream that's kinda made my anxiety come back a bit. people were being unnecessarily rude to me. there was someone saying nasty things earlier in the dream but I can't really remember what it was. but later in my dream I imagine that I climbed into a van with some people in my family while wearing my backpack, and somehow I didn't realize I was wearing it and I asked everyone where it was, and instead of helping me my aunt proceeded to flat-out mock me and call me stupid and say that it would be ridiculous if someone had to tell me where it was (which is kinda crazy bc in real life she can be rude as well). like is there any reason ever for someone to talk to anyone like that? it's not funny and it's definitely not respectful, all it does is show the ugliness of their heart.

anyways I was woken up by my alarm, which was annoying but at least it got me out of that dream. now I gotta find something to lighten the mood. 😔
 
My father is being transferred the trauma center of another hospital :/
And I'm concerned about my mom being stupid about germs when he is in such bad shape. I also hope the hospital enforces strict visitation rules.
 
Idk if I shared this on the site but whenever my dad argues he brings up my mom’s exes a lot… from 40 years ago, and I don’t want to overshare anyway but I’m really sick of that in particular. He’s just awful company. Last time I went to the psychologist he started an argument right before it. Honestly not a stretch to say he’s emotionally abusive to her. Without me I believe he would pick on her 24/7, and go beyond arguing. And it’s not a matter of him not having anyone ever care about him, honestly whenever I try to do anything for him like support him by doing some work or the one time recently I played NL with him, he seems to act even worse. It’s more spontaneous now. When it’s just random like that it really instantly sours my mood. I’m really tired of starting to relax and pick up my mood and then he just randomly starts. I just really needed to toss this in the void rn.
 
Got home and walked into my flatmate complaining about me ✌🏻

Suspicions of her talking behind my back officially confirmed. If I wanted to be picked on and judged for everything I do, I'd be living at home. Didn't intend to sign up for re-living trauma.
 
petty rant

i honestly wish i had straight hair, my hair is naturally very wavy (almost curly) and i hate dealing with it. wavy hair is pretty but i hate my hair because it’s so difficult deal with all the time and i end up trying to straighten it anyway. i wash my hair everyday because my head gets oily fast but apparently you’re not supposed to do that no matter what hair type you have, i also feel like it’s tangled all the time so i brush it out. oily scalp, tangled hair, in part with the frizz = match made in hell
 
I have two itchy bug bites & I can't use antihistamines because I have an allergy test today.

also I'm terrified of the allergy test ; ;
 
my AC unit is completely useless today. it's so warm in here, and because it's raining and muggy outside it's even worse. I usually don't mind when my room is warm, but when the humidity is also like 95% it becomes unbearable 😞
 
Figuring out how I'm gonna take care of my tiny dog who's too tiny for diapers and harnesses, barely house broken(though she's doing great at home and has accident free days but 9wks old is still 9wks old) or leash trained in a not puppy proofed house and my dad with a broken rib when he is released when Mom is working the next few weeks. :/ Unfortunately I don't have anyone to dog sit my tiny pup and she kinda needs to be with me since she is so young rn anyway.
She did ok with a leash the few times I took her outside to potty today, but she is still a pup..
I have alot of things to pack up..
 
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