What's Bothering You?

[-Raven-]

It’s only the start of spring and it’s already way too hot for me. I don’t see how I can live here longterm (and I’ve dreaded this since I was a kid) but I don’t know where or how to move
(edit: it’s already 70 f for reference, and later spring and summer get way way hotter)

 

[VernalLapin]

Runny nose + mosquito bite on my leg = UGH.

 

[Croconaw]

My period makes me so dysphoric. It reminds me that I’m a woman and will never not be a woman. I feel weird going into woman’s restrooms but I have to because my mom and friend are always nearby. My only escape is when I go in Starbucks and I tell them my name is “Blue.”

My friend also has a disability and her calling me my deadname all the time is annoying. She’s also been passive aggressive lately and I don’t want to be rude back since she has a disability, but that doesn’t give her an excuse to be an ass. I may be responding in an angry tone whenever she says my deadname but I know she won’t understand the whole non-binary thing so I just keep my mouth shut.

 

[Seastar]

Not sure how I'm going to sleep because unexpected anxiety came up and despite trying to be calm, I can tell I'm still a bit uneasy. The thing that caused it isn't even resolved either...
The worst part is I really need sleep right now because I barely got any just to watch the Nintendo Direct.

 

[wrenbow]

-

 

[Croconaw]

Sometimes I think I try to hard to make friendships work. At what point do I just stop trying to message them if they rarely reply if ever? I’m not annoying but I’ll send a message here and there, even asking if they’re okay. They read but never reply. They say they aren’t much of a texter but this doesn’t seem worth it to me. Plus, it makes me feel like we aren’t as close as I thought. But when she does reply she’s very sweet and in person, she’s into our conversations. This whole thing is confusing.

 

[oddbear]

i love having a runny nose and an upset stomach for no reason. it’s like i have to decide whether or not i’m sick or if my body’s just doing this because it’s fun.

also, i hate being a night owl in a society where it’s not acceptable to stay up too late because you have to wake up in the morning. i wish i could just stay up until 3:00 am and wake up at 11:00 am but that’s seen as “irresponsible“. night time is when i’m the most calm, so why can‘t people just wake up at different times??

 

[-Raven-]

I’m just too sensitive and it‘s self-sabotaging but I don’t know how to have a healthy level of selfishness anymore. The “putting myself first without being a jerk/bitter” type.

I’ve basically been sacrificing pieces of myself for the last two years because I cared more about other people, and I thought when I was drawing I was getting back to a “healthy selfishness”, but now that a lot of that has fallen apart I’m feeling a kneejerk reaction and I just want to leave so much behind me.

A lot of my self-hate over time came from the illusion I could just keep it under control if it was just me or I just decided it was my fault instead of relying on external factors, and I thought I reached a happy level of sacrifice but I think I wound up as too much of a giver and people kept having unrealistic expectations for me. It was always like that and when I asked for help got ignored, I guess because I got perceived as so tough. It’s not okay. Anyway, it makes me want to hide that part of myself but really I wish I could be giving and see people genuinely get better around me as in more able to fend for themselves and learn self-improvement. I can’t do it anymore, I had it going for a while. I genuinely believe people could work together on it more often but now I feel I’m going to be seriously hurt if I share that part of myself. Not in an egotistical way but I feel like I have a lot to give and it pains me I feel like I get hurt when I do. Like okay maybe I shouldn’t expect anything in return, but I’m not doing it solely for rewards, I just want more understanding of the effort I put into certain things from the people I let in closest.

Last year I thought I was really close to this one friend circle and I think they actually still like me but there’s a lot of pent-up bitterness in that circle that’s come out this year and they do the “how much can I annoy my friend, it’s funny” kind of joke super often and have been using the same memes for the last year and I don’t enjoy being there anymore.

edit: ig what i mean to say is i need more faith in myself but i truly feel lonely outside of some small interactions here at this point which… look man its a basic want. Whole life i feel like ive just had to rely on myself for validation and i do have some ego in me and i keep having to hold it down.

 

[oak]

My dad has another meeting with the head care nurse boss lady Barbara and she scares me lol. I both respect and fear her. She thinks my mom should go into a care home and that we will experience care taker fatigue within a year. She might be right but my dad said we have to try and keep her home & I agree. The boss lady though at the last meeting waited till my mom was out of the room and said to my dad "just 1 accident or incident and I'm over rulling your rights & putting her in a home". We were like damn Barbara, you scary. My dad also tried to blame Trudeau for lack of stroke resources and Barbara told him to be quiet and "that's enough". I can see why they put her in charge.

 

[VernalLapin]

My eye is itchyyyy :^(

 

[kisaker39]

i cannot be the only one who gets embarrassed buying food. yes, this is the food i enjoy eating. im just going to go home, and eat it.

 

[Zane]

i cannot be the only one who gets embarrassed buying food. yes, this is the food i enjoy eating. im just going to go home, and eat it.

there’s a burrito place I go to pretty often and whoever is working almost always kinda soft-makes fun of me for only putting corn on my quesadilla so I always feel sorta awkward getting it

 

[ali.di.magix]

Not too much of a bother, but I have less money than I thought in my account after my pay rise. My rent has gone up by a lot which is eating into it. But it's worth it now that I'm in a better place by far

 

[Xara]

Spoiler

i found out tonight that bonk’s favourite treats are made by hartz, a brand responsible for causing health issues in and even killing thousands of pets. my parents and i have been giving bonk these treats every day, and i was none the wiser. the only clue that hartz makes them is their logo on the back of the packaging in small ass letters.

none of the issues with hartz or any of the lawsuits against them have been about their food products, but they are an awful brand, and the fact that i’ve been feeding my cat their products for over a year has me feeling so guilty. if there’s even a 0.0000001% chance that those treats are causing the rectal bleeding issue she’s been having, or that they might cause issues later, i do not want them anywhere near her. i feel so bad. i’ve since thrown the treats out and will be much more mindful about pet food packaging, i just. ****.

my brain is not being normal about this. i told my mom about this as soon as i found out and we threw out her treats together, but a part of me wants to go to her again and go, “you know what nvm”, just because my brain has decided that me saying something and throwing the treats out is me being inconvenient somehow. it’s so ingrained in me to keep my mouth shut and tiptoe and not inconvenience anyone ever that my brain now thinks that me advocating for my cat’s wellbeing is me being inconvenient.

i want to take it back because i’m terrified of my dad getting all pissed in the morning when he goes to give bonk a treat and finds them all gone. saving money is more important to him than anything, and since the hartz treats are cheaper than some of the others, i’m terrified that he’s going to get pissed about me not wanting her to have them anymore. i’m terrified that saving money is more important to him than her health. i’m terrified about trying to talk about this with him, since i already know he’s going to have questions and i already have my information and resources ready, but talking to him is impossible because he only wants to hear himself talk. he is constantly talking over me and interrupting me and getting all worked up for no reason, and it is so exhausting to have two parents that i can’t talk to and have to tiptoe around.

i refuse to tiptoe when it comes at the potential expense of bonk’s health. i know rationally and logically that i have every right to not want hartz products of any kind near my cat. i just wish my brain thought the same way.

 

[Midoriya]

Deleted.

 

[Kitsuragi]

im not happy in my relationship anymore and it's not 100% my fault but i still feel insanely guilty breaking things off because my boyfriend will literally be homeless if i do so i guess ill just suffer

 

[Millysaurusrexjr]

I made a really yummy japanese curry for dinner and my sinuses did not appreciate it one bit. I am so tired of this

 

[VanitasFan26]

These past few months have really have me emotionally burned out. Personal Life issues are getting too serious. When one problem is done another one occurs.

 

[moonbyu]

for some reason, i've been waking up for school feeling nothing but absolute and pure DREAD. i didn't even feel this anxious during my high school years lol.
i'm guessing that it's just because i'm in a new school but it's seriously not cool to deal with.

 

[Bluelady]

Got it off my chest.