updatei hate how worse things have gotten at work the past few days (weeks?)i only get 4-6 hours of sleep, 2-3 hours of down time, and the rest of the day is really just work or prepping for work. i’ve broken down a few times already, im so so so tired and sleepy, and i barely get help from my teammates. i really just want to get out of here but unfortunately i cant because this is part of the “training”
ok for the whole story
i got home at around 8 PM and started working on stuff (both personal work and group work), ate dinner, then slept at 11 PM. woke up at 3 am to continue working on personal stuff, then found out at 6 am that for the group work, my groupmates made such a dog**** presentation for their parts that i had to basically overhaul it. i TOLD them what basics need to be added and they just. did not do them.
the worst part was that the presentation was at 7:30 AM and they were just not replying to me. out of sheer exhaustion and stress i just broke down so bad that my boyfriend was surprised, like i cried so loud but had to work while crying because there was so much that needed to be done and i could not afford to waste time crying.
anyway i went to work, and my dumb ass forgot my wallet so i called SOS on so many people, im just glad one friend came to pay for my cab lol.
i entered the lecture hall and i saw my groupmates and they started blaming each other (and then me) for the lacking presentation. they told me they followed one resource i sent and i told them i literally chatted the basics of what had to be added.
come the presentation, by brain was so scattered that i wasnt able to answer the questions from the seniors, and my group mates were not helping me AT ALL. so i stood there like an idiot lmao. and then when i was fixated on presenting, MY LAPTOP FELL and everyone gasped and i screamed and i was basically in tears at that point but i held back so bad because i've embarrassed myself so much in front of like so many people.
i was so sad and stressed and i just refused to talk to anyone today except my parents and my boyfriend. i appreciate them being in my life, they reassured me that in time it will pass and it'll just be a distant memory. my boyfriend took me out to ramen and froyo after everything and i went home and slept for a few hours so im feeling a little better now. but im working graveyard tonight with the same groupmates and like i do not how how to approach them so. yeah. and im pretty sure one of my groupmates is gonna talk **** about me to his frat buddies so i don't know how to deal with that too. lmao
i got home at around 8 PM and started working on stuff (both personal work and group work), ate dinner, then slept at 11 PM. woke up at 3 am to continue working on personal stuff, then found out at 6 am that for the group work, my groupmates made such a dog**** presentation for their parts that i had to basically overhaul it. i TOLD them what basics need to be added and they just. did not do them.
the worst part was that the presentation was at 7:30 AM and they were just not replying to me. out of sheer exhaustion and stress i just broke down so bad that my boyfriend was surprised, like i cried so loud but had to work while crying because there was so much that needed to be done and i could not afford to waste time crying.
anyway i went to work, and my dumb ass forgot my wallet so i called SOS on so many people, im just glad one friend came to pay for my cab lol.
i entered the lecture hall and i saw my groupmates and they started blaming each other (and then me) for the lacking presentation. they told me they followed one resource i sent and i told them i literally chatted the basics of what had to be added.
come the presentation, by brain was so scattered that i wasnt able to answer the questions from the seniors, and my group mates were not helping me AT ALL. so i stood there like an idiot lmao. and then when i was fixated on presenting, MY LAPTOP FELL and everyone gasped and i screamed and i was basically in tears at that point but i held back so bad because i've embarrassed myself so much in front of like so many people.
i was so sad and stressed and i just refused to talk to anyone today except my parents and my boyfriend. i appreciate them being in my life, they reassured me that in time it will pass and it'll just be a distant memory. my boyfriend took me out to ramen and froyo after everything and i went home and slept for a few hours so im feeling a little better now. but im working graveyard tonight with the same groupmates and like i do not how how to approach them so. yeah. and im pretty sure one of my groupmates is gonna talk **** about me to his frat buddies so i don't know how to deal with that too. lmao
thank you for all the hugs and well wishes, they don't seem much to others but they feel comforting to me. i wish i could do more for the people who cared, you guys are angels and im glad this little corner of the internet exists.
Hopefully you can get more sleep too 
. 
