What's Bothering You?

MY GOODNESS some people are exhausting! I am a very positive and fun person and I really enjoy playing games with my friends. Tonight I was gonna play Splatoon with one of my good friends and then a friend from a club at our school. Me and my good friend love playing Splatoon and its always fun but with this other kid..... Wow he has some anger issues. I have never been told to k**l myself, have someone tell me "i'm not a functioning member of society", and then attack my cultural background in a game session. This was too much for me and he had done this many times in the past and I was over it. I blocked him on my phone and defriended him on Switch because I refuse to surround myself with people who can't treat others with basic respect.
 
I'm just an emotional mess right now, so I hope some stuff I say actually makes sense. I just got into an argument with my stepmom (about something minor, no less) and I'm just ****ing done. I don't even have the energy to type it all out. I'm tired of being told by my own family: "Stop crying", "you're acting like a [insert expletive]", "there's something wrong with you", and "you need help". I'm tired of being told my life is perfect and that I have no reason to be upset when my mom's dead, I feel inadequate/unwanted, I'm struggling with my mental health, and I can't even stand the people around me IRL.

Why tell me to look for help when my problems don't get fixed? That ****ing psychologist saw me once and that was it, no matter how many times I scheduled meetings. I poured my heart out about issues I NEVER told anyone and she leaves me in the dust. My family asks me what's wrong and they get mad at me when I tell them. "That's stupid, you shouldn't be upset about that".

I'm embarrassed about how I acted. I sobbed in front of my family and all I get is, "stop ****ing crying and listen to me". I'm done.
 
its that time of the month again where my emotions get super out of wack even more than they already usually are !! fun

ive also been super mentally drained and haven't been wanting to talk to anyone except 1 person so when that 1 person is not around i feel super lonely and i cant get my **** together and just go reach out and talk to them because i feel like they don't want to talk to me or something. i wish my mental issues would just go away im so damn miserable all the time and its even worse now
 
Mr_Keroppi said:
Beepboop
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With friends like that who needs enemies. You did the right thing blocking them. Sometimes you just need to cut ties with horrible people otherwise they will never learn the errors of their way. They probably were brought up that way so most likely the adults in their life aren't any better. I'm sorry you had to deal with that and that it ruined what you wanted to be a peaceful and fun game night. I've had friends like that and other friends that changed so drastically because of the social media that they consumed that they became super hateful.


Hurray my stalker is back. I thought they were gone for good. Filming and watching me at all times and literally staking out in their truck. Trying to call the cops on me all times for stuff that has nothing to do with me. I don't know why they even chose me or why some people are just that petty and miserable. Is your life really that pathetic???
 
My cousin is autistic and loves birthdays. He's always reminding me of my birthday coming up.

...I kinda feel terrible because I'm not going to be home for a few days. It means I won't see him on my birthday.

So I want to give him a gift. I realize the backwards nature in that. (searching a gift for someone else on my own birthday) but I think it would be soothing. Maybe I'll get him a new video game. Or I'll take him to lunch before I leave.

He's actually been on my mind more than I would like to admit. I think I've grown a soft spot for him and the sudden guilt is starting to hit me.
 
not to get too political but Glenn Beck is so ****ing annoying lol
he claims that people are complaining about U-turn signs bc its "homophobic". literally no one is saying that lol. if they are then they're just attention-seeking and potentially trying to make LGBT+ people look bad.
I mean he's not stupid by any means, he knows the value of being true to yourself in regards to politics. but I'm still keeping a very close eye on bias.

also can't understand people who get offended when the US is called a republic, like... it is a republic lol? maybe they equate "republic" to "republican" for some reason, I really don't know. 😅

also also hate when people say things that make them seem unbiased (like when Beck said "don't look for whether someone is R or D, whether they support Trump or Biden, look for the law"), making you think, "oh yeah, hes unbiased, I can trust him", and then go and say some really biased stuff. are you trying to trick people into thinking you're unbiased? that doesn't sit right with me. this is why I don't listen to people talk abt politics.

(please don't quote/reply, I'm not looking to argue opinions, I'm just musing.)

edit: bruh I can't believe my dad listens to this stuff literally all day, like 💀 this is miserable haha
 
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I lost my wallet, are you actually serious right now 🫠

edit: found it, it was in my dad's car. I figured it must've fallen out of my backpack. but I was already so frustrated from this morning, mostly because of the heat wave, and losing my wallet was yet another thing causing me stress. I'm thinking about getting a GPS locator for my wallet so this doesn't happen again.
 
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There’s a discourse I keep seeing which is basically just trying to champion and normalize rude behavior and it’s so grating. For example any time I see a post where someone is upset because they gave their friend/child/significant other/etc a gift and this person reacted ungratefully and made it extremely obvious they didn’t like the gift there is ALWAYS at least a few people who poke their heads out of the bushes to say something like “stop being so entitled, gift-giving isn’t about you, they don’t have to like it just because it was a gift”. No, they don’t, but they don’t have to rub it in the gift-giver’s face that they hated it either? There’s a lot of things I actually think people shouldn’t have to suck it up and be polite about, but - call me old fashioned I guess - receiving a gift isn’t one of them. I suppose I’m just annoyed by the idea that having a reasonable expectation of basic manners = being entitled.
 
PSA: with hot weather, protect your skin guys.

Screenshot_20240617-160540.png

Not to give a big brother speech or anything, but skin is a precious commodity. Finding a good sun blocker you can trust goes a long ways. Especially if you get into the water like I did yesterday.

Do better than me. I foolishly applied after I had already been exposed to the sun.

Not only does it hurt, but it's not good for us long-term either.

Be safe please and take precautions in summer weather
 
My partner came back from a class we usually go to together with a neck injury. Apparently the person she paired up with was a bit rough with her.

Made her a cup of tea, a heatpack, and provided cream cake and painkillers. She's gone off to bed now still feeling sore. Hope it'll be a quick recovery. 🤞

Also checked in with the other person to see how she was doing. She's feeling bad about what happened and thanked me for taking care of her.
 
Zane said:
There’s a discourse I keep seeing which is basically just trying to champion and normalize rude behavior and it’s so grating. For example any time I see a post where someone is upset because they gave their friend/child/significant other/etc a gift and this person reacted ungratefully and made it extremely obvious they didn’t like the gift there is ALWAYS at least a few people who poke their heads out of the bushes to say something like “stop being so entitled, gift-giving isn’t about you, they don’t have to like it just because it was a gift”. No, they don’t, but they don’t have to rub it in the gift-giver’s face that they hated it either? There’s a lot of things I actually think people shouldn’t have to suck it up and be polite about, but - call me old fashioned I guess - receiving a gift isn’t one of them. I suppose I’m just annoyed by the idea that having a reasonable expectation of basic manners = being entitled.
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This is just narcissism. Most places online are just an echo chamber for horrible people to tell other horrible people that they're in the right. It's what they're good at. Personally I always make it a rule of thumb to not give gifts to anyone who either don't acknowledge or act ungrateful/rude. While people are allowed to not like or care for a gift they receive from another, they should still be cordial. And if someone has the right to act like that everyone has the right to never give them gifts. But you know that would never fly with them lol.

The amount of people I give gifts to has diminished greatly because of this. But hey if this is the new era of how people should act then I'll use my money or time (because I often make things for others) on myself.
 
Not doing very good today. My mood will probably pick up, but I’m feeling mentally tired. I woke up to a small panic attack a few hours ago. As much as I’ve been trying to push thoughts about my best friend, still hurting badly about everything with him and the small reminders. Also having some bad intrusive thoughts again because I’m feeling pretty lost and hopeless about so much.
 
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