• The first day of our new Mushroom Season event has passed, but things are just getting started. Read the update about changes made to the schedule, starting with day two. Be careful foraging and good luck!
  • Come and see the official gallery showcasing all of your creative entries from The Bell Tree Fair 2024. In addition, the winners for the final raffles have been drawn! Click here for the event's final closing announcement.

What's Bothering You?

literally just told my neighbour yesterday, I'm hoping to drive my car for another year or two at least. now I'm not sure if I'll even have it for another month.

I've been having so many issues with it, I've sunk over a thousand dollars into it since the beginning of this year. I had to replace the battery (and buy a battery jumpstarter), replace both front tires, replace all four rotors and brake pads for them, replace the passenger side brake light housing, replace the entire radio head unit, and I just paid to have my AC system evaluated and I bought a brand new compressor because the old one is completely shot. now I have to buy new back tires, the one on the passenger side is shot and the driver side pretty much is too. not to mention, I still have no clue what's going on with my fuel system, and sometimes my car will just stall because the fuel system is "too lean". my car broke down four times while I was in Ontario, one time it literally wouldn't start at all (scared poor Shell half to death), and it's stalled a few times since I've been home as well. not to mention all the electrical issues my car has, and now the gear shifter is going out and that's about $230.

I'm so tired of this, I'm tired of constantly sinking more money into this car than it's worth. we got it for $5k back in 2019, it might not even be worth half that now. I didn't think I was on the market yet for a new car, but I may not have a choice now. my car is slowly but surely becoming an unreliable source of transport, and considering I commute 250 miles per week for work, that's kinda not a good thing.

it sucks because I've been driving my buggy (a 2007 VW Beetle convertible) for almost four years now, and I have a lot of wonderful memories with this car. but as much as I love my buggy, I can't afford to maintain it like this. I just can't. it's bleeding me dry. I already struggle with finances because I'm only working part-time. I need to find something that's reliable and affordable, even if it means leasing it for however many years.

I don't know what to do, this is so frustrating and I don't have much money to work with. I'm just annoyed. 😞
 
A while ago I said my roommate was being very horrible to me about my CPTSD by like, making me cry and have flashbacks and stuff and I just want to vent that its gotten SO MUCH WORSE. Ive been forced into a situation where I have to shut up and quietly sit in my flashbacks while he gets to do whatever he wants to trigger them until he (finally) moves out.
He is absolutely convinced Ive been talking to other people we know about the issues I take with him and lord I wish I had been because maybe then I would feel better - I was arguing with him about this and pointing out that its just not possible that he's 'spoken to people seem to have spoken with', since I only spoke to one person we both know about this (this person has been trying to help us) but he just keeps being so rude to me and replying with things like 'Mhm.' and 'Im not snitching on [who I spoke to] like. are you insane. I have found this so triggering and infuriating because its just not true. I wish I had been talking about this to other people but the truth is that Ive found this all very embarrassing and humiliating since its my PTSD that's getting worse because of this and Ive therefore hid it from my social circle.

He told me I only care about my mental health and act like Im the only one with problems (so close! Im actually just the only person who has communicated I have issues and you're the person who agreed to be considerate! If you had an issue or needed your own considerations you should've said and I would've listened) and apparently all his friends don't like me and don't like coming to our house (Ive never met them??? Idk who they are????). For someone who is accusing me of having told loads of people about this, it sure is funny how all these people who are strangers to me know the drama and hate me for *checks papers* setting boundaries. I just feel so small and stupid because the stalemate of it (that HE decided on) was 'stay away from me and ill stay away from you' but we LIVE together, so Im forced to be uncomfortable in my own home. I came to this city to escape abuse and homelessness and this is the first home Ive ever had but for most of 2024 Ive felt trapped by his selfishness. This is my only home in the world, I want the doors to be open and the air to be light. I don't want to always hide in the corner like Im 14,15,16,17,18,19,20 again. And its all well and good for him because while he pushes back my recovery (that I have worked so hard for) by a million steps and then leaves me and my partner to pick up the pieces, he gets to toddle off along to his job in another continent, probably talking crap the entire way.

I guess its upsetting that he's doing the vast majority of the things he's accusing me of, like only caring about his own problems and talking about me to other people. Theres so much more but I cant get into it because his actions really are giving me flashbacks, I just needed to vent. When he moves out it will be me, my partner and two dear friends who have always been very respectful of my deep deep trauma and supportive of my recovery. That will be good - no more regressions because of someone else's horrible actions.

There. Now I really have spoken about you to other people.

And the most annoying part is all of this has made me unable to create any craft for the on going event. That alone is enough to make me sob, since I really wanted to make a piece about my Greek Jewish identity

Edit: There has been a development in the 20 minutes since I posted it which is we have found the wine glasses given to us by my partners parents amongst our roommates belongings. Every single glass, which are unique and special and also older than we are. Theyre also filthy and stored in ways that's just asking for them to get broken. This really doesn't bode well for our roommate who also has a habit of ignoring my pleas to return the special cutlery I bought when we moved in, a set which has been shrinking for months and months. I know its just cutlery but I absolutely adore them and the vast majority of the set is gone - sometimes pieces show up in his dish-washing-pile but most of the time they just disappear.
 
Last edited:
Chris said:
I hate people. 😐

My partner likes when I crossdress, so I did that for our date tonight. Result? I was out the house less than 3 minutes before someone wolf-whistled from their car. Like what the hell dude. Is this what women have to put up with?
Click to expand...
Yeah, I hate people too. Last year or maybe it was two years ago now, I tried to take Nicholas out for a walk by myself (usually my husband goes with us) - I didn’t even make it past the next block before I was cat-called. I immediately called my husband and told him I wasn’t going to go by myself anymore. And we live in a nice neighborhood, it’s a shame.
 
There was this one post I made in this thread a long time ago. The reason I’m bringing it up is because I hate that I still feel this way. Why do I give a **** about someone else’s opinions on me? Why do I have to be insecure? Why can’t I just not care. Whatever, I’ll just stop now. I don’t think this will ever change.
 
Doo said:
-snip-
Click to expand...
Somebody that was 10 years old told me that they used to like Pokémon, but they grew out of it. He told me he was too old for it, and was even making fun of me for liking it, among other things, despite being the same age.

Having any interests at any age is okay. I'm realizing that people are more open about their interests now rather than keeping them hidden, and I think that's great. It's obvious with anime. It used to be taboo or unheard of to like it, or you were seen as weird. Now, I can't go a day without seeing somebody wearing anime merch. It makes me happy that it's more widely accepted now, and that people aren't embarrassed to show love for their interests. There are even anime movies coming to theaters. I can't say I could've ever predicted that ten years ago.
 
Clock said:
Wish that my fear of failure and anxiety would go away.
Click to expand...
I know anxiety just makes the fear of failure worse. Just remember, Thomas Edison said when inventing the lightbulb, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” That change in mindset is what can turn every perceived failure into a success. It’s just that each of those little successes might look different than the big one you’re hoping for. ❤️ 🫂
 
Halloqueen said:
Summertime is the worst. This heat is miserable.
Click to expand...
Worst part is, it’s only the beginning.

I wish I can cryogenically freeze myself so I can skip summer and wake up in the fall, but then I’ll miss the Bell Tree Fair when it happens, so I’m not going to do that.
 
So glad today is over. To top the day off someone was sure I had put something of theirs in the bin. I told them I was 100% sure I didn't. They kept going on, that I must have put it in the bin as they couldn't find it. I probably wouldn't have done this in normal circumstances, but today has pushed me to the limit. I took the bin bag in from the kitchen and emptied it piece by piece into another bin bag in front of them. Their 'item' was not in the bin. Hope they apologise when they do find it. Even though I was 100% sure, they had me starting to doubt myself. Going to bed and listen to some Elton and hopefully destress.
 
I hate having POTS. When it gets hot outside like this, it feels like it’s a lot hotter due to my POTS; at least in my opinion. I sweat a lot and it is so difficult to try not to pass out from this humid freaking heat. The migraines from it being so hot also don’t help. As I get emotional and much more anxious when I get migraines. I worry my friends don’t like me anymore; or that I did something wrong to them. I try to remind myself everyone has a life outside of me and the friendships in general, my friends are allowed to have other friends; my friends are allowed to be busy.. but my anxiety has been controlling me lately, making me fear they dislike me. This is also probably my BPD kicking in— again.. :’) I can’t help but feel like I’m a terrible friend.
 
It’s such a huge shame that someone whose music got me through a lot of pain, whose music was a huge help getting me from minute to minute through some of the worst intrusive thoughts of my life, behaves in this hurtful, hateful, way. So, so, ****ing sad.
 
I’ve deleted all of the photos of myself that show my face on here, every Discord server I’m active on, and on social media. People have insulted my appearance in unspeakable ways and many have used it against me. I’ve posted selfies of myself on Discord servers and been called ugly or worse twice. I also share more info online than I should and a face would make it even easier to track me down anyway.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

JellyBeans
last concert you went to?
2 3
Replies
41
Views
619
S.J.
S.J.
Neb
If you had to move somewhere else where would you go to?
2 3
Replies
45
Views
606
gh0st
gh0st
Chris
Healthy Lifestyle Support Thread
2
Replies
23
Views
739
Chris
Chris
Justin
  • Poll
What's shorts weather to you?
2 3
Replies
58
Views
2K
ShawnFuzz
ShawnFuzz
R
Back into it
Replies
9
Views
200
ShadowLelouch97
ShadowLelouch97
Back
Top