What's Bothering You?

I left the server I mentioned, made a goodbye post, and said I will still stay in contact with my friends over there via DM. I think I made the right choice since I was enjoying my time there less and less even before the drama. I might go back once my mental health is in a better place and I have put the recent situation behind me, although I won’t stay if I catch people bullying that other user again.

The goodbye post was very difficult to write, but I expressed my positive memories of the server back before it was toxic to show that I still care.
 
I was re-hired back at the job I left four years ago. To be honest, I forgot the actual reason I left until yesterday.

There was a minor misunderstanding and I flipped off this lady that works the service desk. That lady still works there and had the nerve to rat on me to the new manager, trying to get me in trouble for it. I didn’t have any conversation with her after that day, and to be called into the office reminded me that people hold grudges.

I was told that if there’s any beef between us, I’ll be gone. It just felt ****ty being called out like that, because of something I did four years ago.

Why is a lady in her 60s holding a grudge over some petty argument from years ago? Why did she go out of her way to let a manager know even though I didn’t say anything to her since I was re-hired. How does she even remember that?

It makes me wonder if I’ll be remembered for every bad thing from the past I did. That’s what people seem to remember, but the good things are so easy to forget?

Is that who I am now?
 
Having health anxiety, I guess. I've been miserable today (allergy symptoms and other stuff) and now after taking a shower, I finally realized ALL of it was on one side of my face/head. The same side that's been bothering me for a few days. I don't like that I'm noticing this.
It's also the side one of my worst cavities is on... I thought I should mention that.
No, I can't see the dentist. I don't have insurance anymore.
 
I’ve been doing pretty good for at least a few days now. Right now, I’m struggling a bit with my depression and intrusive thoughts.

Tomorrow I have to go out to get my eyes checked and get new glasses since my glasses broke recently and I’m anxious about that and how long it will take. At the same time, I am happy since I can get more (hopefully) done on pokemon go
 
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I needed a quiet space for my online class. I asked my uncle if I could use an empty room they built detached from the house. He was perfectly okay with it.

My aunt, being a narcissistic and a jerk, said no. Despite her never actually going in there, she said the room "is very important to her".

It makes things so much more complicated :-( Because now I effectively have no place that can drown out noise.

I never ask for anything and it honestly ruined my day.
 
honestly looking forward to having a day off tomorrow, I really want to take this evening to decompress so I can spend tomorrow doing things I want to do and not worrying about anything else 💜
until then I'm just feeling... bleh. not particularly great. I'm tired, sleepy tired. can't wait to go to bed later.
 
Seastar said:
Having health anxiety, I guess. I've been miserable today (allergy symptoms and other stuff) and now after taking a shower, I finally realized ALL of it was on one side of my face/head. The same side that's been bothering me for a few days. I don't like that I'm noticing this.
It's also the side one of my worst cavities is on... I thought I should mention that.
No, I can't see the dentist. I don't have insurance anymore.
Click to expand...
Sleeping didn't make the pain go away.
 
My dad said that the problems I’m having at work recently are because there are too many “democrats” in charge. It always comes back to politics. He told me years ago something similar about an incident at a job I was working. I worked overnight at a gas station that was robbed on my shift. The person was armed and it was a rough experience for me, but my dad said it was because of their political affiliation.

I’ve been fighting these thoughts more recently and not believing a single thing that comes out of his mouth. It just sucks to have to listen to it, although I’m able to fight these thoughts now.

Still in disbelief that that older woman is grudging over a petty argument from four years ago. I didn’t bring it up, so why make it relevant again? She needs to get over it. I’m trying to start a new chapter.

Also, my dad said democrats give him anxiety and that because of that, I should buy him anxiety medication. I think that’s a ****ed up thing to joke around about, but that’s just me. 💀
 
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Have a really bad bug bite on my leg, and I think it might be infected :/ Just my luck.
Hot to the touch, marking is slightly swelled and now its a lil' painful. My mum said we were gonna go to the pharmacy tomorrow after I finish work; but now I can't sleep after researching it a bit. :/ Why do I do that to myself. Welp, nothing I can do about it now.
Have to see how it is tomorrow. I could wash it with soap before bed.
 
crying because my mom is constantly on me about driving yet makes no effort to teach me how to drive, and i can sign up for driving practice (i have my permit i just need the driving experience to be able to feel confident enough to take the test) but you have to go in person, yet my mom doesn’t want to take me to sign up lol make it make sense
 
I don’t want my mom to divorce my dad but I’m really tired of the tone my dad uses with me and how because he refuses to take medicine for his anxiety, he lashes out at me. Hours ago, my mom had me lock up my cats in a room since my dad has trouble getting them; today they’re getting their nails clipped. My dad asks me to come down and help him find Jewels. when said she was already in the room, he’s like “alright” with the tone of voice and pause he uses when he thinks I’m stupid. I think it is unfair to the cats we need to lock them up either in the carriers or in a room, because he doesn’t know how to get them and has a panic attack (because he doesn’t treat his anxiety) when he can’t find them. my dad keeps getting ruder and meaner; the other day he threw up his hands in the air and kept screaming at my niece for having a fit at dinner. Thank you dad for giving me more reason to stay in my room and not talk to you :/. I’m dreading going to my upcoming niece’s birthday even though we’re just going for a little bit.
 
I woke up early to the sound of my sister using the hair blower. :\ She was preparing to go to college later.

We both share a room. One of the reasons why I need my own is because I don't want crap like this to happen.

I'm irritated, but thankfully I told her to move her business outside next time. I hope she doesn't do that again.

Edit: Forgot to mention that even though I managed to get one of my event entries fixed and accepted, I realized I forgot to include something for my contest entry as well. And now I'm getting anxious again because there's a chance I may have to redo it. T^T Hoping to get a response from the host ASAP
 
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