What's Bothering You?

My dad said that the problems I’m having at work recently are because there are too many “democrats” in charge. It always comes back to politics. He told me years ago something similar about an incident at a job I was working. I worked overnight at a gas station that was robbed on my shift. The person was armed and it was a rough experience for me, but my dad said it was because of their political affiliation.

I’ve been fighting these thoughts more recently and not believing a single thing that comes out of his mouth. It just sucks to have to listen to it, although I’m able to fight these thoughts now.

Still in disbelief that that older woman is grudging over a petty argument from four years ago. I didn’t bring it up, so why make it relevant again? She needs to get over it. I’m trying to start a new chapter.

Also, my dad said democrats give him anxiety and that because of that, I should buy him anxiety medication. I think that’s a ****ed up thing to joke around about, but that’s just me. 💀
 
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Have a really bad bug bite on my leg, and I think it might be infected :/ Just my luck.
Hot to the touch, marking is slightly swelled and now its a lil' painful. My mum said we were gonna go to the pharmacy tomorrow after I finish work; but now I can't sleep after researching it a bit. :/ Why do I do that to myself. Welp, nothing I can do about it now.
Have to see how it is tomorrow. I could wash it with soap before bed.
 
crying because my mom is constantly on me about driving yet makes no effort to teach me how to drive, and i can sign up for driving practice (i have my permit i just need the driving experience to be able to feel confident enough to take the test) but you have to go in person, yet my mom doesn’t want to take me to sign up lol make it make sense
 
I don’t want my mom to divorce my dad but I’m really tired of the tone my dad uses with me and how because he refuses to take medicine for his anxiety, he lashes out at me. Hours ago, my mom had me lock up my cats in a room since my dad has trouble getting them; today they’re getting their nails clipped. My dad asks me to come down and help him find Jewels. when said she was already in the room, he’s like “alright” with the tone of voice and pause he uses when he thinks I’m stupid. I think it is unfair to the cats we need to lock them up either in the carriers or in a room, because he doesn’t know how to get them and has a panic attack (because he doesn’t treat his anxiety) when he can’t find them. my dad keeps getting ruder and meaner; the other day he threw up his hands in the air and kept screaming at my niece for having a fit at dinner. Thank you dad for giving me more reason to stay in my room and not talk to you :/. I’m dreading going to my upcoming niece’s birthday even though we’re just going for a little bit.
 
I woke up early to the sound of my sister using the hair blower. :\ She was preparing to go to college later.

We both share a room. One of the reasons why I need my own is because I don't want crap like this to happen.

I'm irritated, but thankfully I told her to move her business outside next time. I hope she doesn't do that again.

Edit: Forgot to mention that even though I managed to get one of my event entries fixed and accepted, I realized I forgot to include something for my contest entry as well. And now I'm getting anxious again because there's a chance I may have to redo it. T^T Hoping to get a response from the host ASAP
 
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Sorry for posting here again so soon. Anxiety is just a little much right now. I’m still upset with my dad; I want to text my mom about it but ever since that one time my dad read all of my mom’s text messages, I don’t want to do that 😬.

I’m worried that I annoyed everyone here and elsewhere because how overexcited I got about the shaker charm and anxious. >.< I know anxiety can be annoying to see; my anxiety annoys me even though I can’t help it and don’t choose to be anxious (some of my former personal friends seemed to think I can control it and anxiety is a choice; just explaining because of this.).

Aside from this I’m good moodwise 🙂.

I’m working on my drawing for the magnificent memories. I’m a bit worried I’m going to mess up when I get to coloring it since there is no undo button in traditional art.
 
Dunquixote said:
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At least from my perspective, it wasn't annoying at all. It's normal to be excited about things like that. I think a lot of other people feel the same way. I highly doubt anyone else was annoyed by it either. I understand where you're coming from with your anxiety though, and it's completely valid. I'm glad you're doing okay otherwise though. You can always DM me if you want to talk more. 💜
 
Midoriya said:
At least from my perspective, it wasn't annoying at all. It's normal to be excited about things like that. I think a lot of other people feel the same way. I highly doubt anyone else was annoyed by it either. I understand where you're coming from with your anxiety though, and it's completely valid. I'm glad you're doing okay otherwise though. You can always DM me if you want to talk more. 💜
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Thanks Riley! 💜 I really appreciate it! 🙂
 
just submitted a job application for a full time position in a different library system.

I really don't want to get my hopes up, but I've been wanting to move up to full time since the end of last year, and frankly, I'm getting tired of the way that the higher-ups at my current job have some kind of choke-hold on their employees, and seem to create policies that aren't shaped around employee's well-being. I've noticed this more and more as time goes on, and the higher-ups are the kind of people who are like "sorry, that's just the rules" or basically "you're not allowed to argue with us or we might fire you". I don't tolerate that kind of thing, I don't like feeling like a subordinate and being bossed around. I suppose the new job might not be much better, but I'm feeling a lot more confident now and I'd like to speak up about this kind of thing.

I've applied for three different full-time positions in my current library system, across three different branches, and all three (including my home branch) turned me down. the last two didn't even bother to give me an interview. the system is honestly rigged (seriously, I'm not just saying that to sound funny), I don't know why they bother posting the job opening to other branches when all they're gonna do is promote someone at their own branch. it's a waste my time and it's a tease, especially when they don't even give me a chance to do an interview. and with the limited budget (and thus subpar benefits for a government job) and strict policies and generally somewhat unwelcoming atmosphere that the higher-ups radiate, like, should I even bother continuing to look for a position in this system? no, I'm done.

the library I applied at has good benefits and tuition reimbursement, but like I said, I don't want to get my hopes up considering how many times I've been rejected so far. I'm gonna look and see if any other libraries around are hiring, and are offer tuition reimbursement as well (that's the golden ticket for me, since I want to get my MLIS). until then I'll just keep chugging away at my current job and hope for the best in terms of my future.
 
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