What's Bothering You?

notability app is so ass, it switched me back to the free version of the app after 5 years of being on a classic version (one-time payment). actually it started being really ass when notability made it subscription-based, but i did buy the app before they implemented subscriptions so i should still have access to what was promised to me before this change. anyway, earlier while i was studying it removed my classic version for some reason and that really pissed me off since the free version has "limited weekly usage". what an ass feature, it's a note-taking app and yet you can't use it whenever you want because unlimited note-taking is locked behind a paywall. it used to be affordable with its one-time payment but now it's like that stupid adobe subscription. and ive had other issues with the app esp when it closes randomly.

whatever, i'm done with notability. still keeping it because all my 4 years of notes are in there but i'm moving to goodnotes. the free version looks promising AND it doesnt had that stupid weekly usage like notability did.
 
Just being deadnamed over and over again (by my grandma) is very annoying. I can’t correct her because she has no issues with physically hitting people she doesn’t agree with. I remember saying I didn’t like my name on the way to high school one morning and she made me walk the rest of the way.

Is this why I didn’t feel comfortable being open about my gender identity until like last year? I feel like I’m way late to the party.
 
Learning that my shop will actually be open tomorrow meaning early morning once again for me.
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This is why going into the new year doesn't feel any different.
What's the point.
 
really nervous about going back to work on thursday. that argument at the end of my shift on christmas eve has had me anxious my entire break, and i'm dreading what might happen or get said when i go back. i wrote down some notes about my perspective of what happened and how i feel about one particular thing the other woman said, but. i don't like confrontation, even if it is just a sit-down with a higher up to discuss what happened. my stress response to everything is to cry, and that's just going to make me look stupid asdfghjkl. still... i think i'd rather speak 1x1 to a higher up than discuss it with the other woman, because even though she provoked me and kept escalating the situation, i know she's going to make me out to be the bad guy even in the interest of "clearing the air", and if i try to act otherwise or call her out on that one particular thing she said, it's probably just gonna make things worse. i have considered going to the site manager/boss, but it's such a small company (like, 10 people) that even if i wanted him to do anything, it might make having to work with her even more of an issue.
 
It sucks when you put so much effort into something and it seems like people don’t care. I posted videos on Facebook yesterday of me playing bachs minuet in G on violin and one got no likes or comments and one got one like and no comments. And it’s not like they’re not getting views either. They’ve gotten like 20 plus views each and counting. I think my friends just scroll by when they see a video by me playing violin. Sometimes it makes me think I should just quit playing.
 
Autumn247 said:
It sucks when you put so much effort into something and it seems like people don’t care. I posted videos on Facebook yesterday of me playing bachs minuet in G on violin and one got no likes or comments and one got one like and no comments. And it’s not like they’re not getting views either. They’ve gotten like 20 plus views each and counting. I think my friends just scroll by when they see a video by me playing violin. Sometimes it makes me think I should just quit playing.
Click to expand...
Don't quit if it makes you happy.
 
Autumn247 said:
It sucks when you put so much effort into something and it seems like people don’t care. I posted videos on Facebook yesterday of me playing bachs minuet in G on violin and one got no likes or comments and one got one like and no comments. And it’s not like they’re not getting views either. They’ve gotten like 20 plus views each and counting. I think my friends just scroll by when they see a video by me playing violin. Sometimes it makes me think I should just quit playing.
Click to expand...
I know you probably don't want anyone to say anything, but it's not a matter of if you're skilled or not to warrant their comment and approval. People are just lazy af especially when it comes to online. You could perform a piece that could've been played during a live orchestra and no one would comment or like it. People are just hardwired to be on an endless brainrot doom scroll where they just shut their brains off and consume, consume, consume without adding. It's why I dislike social media so much.

If you like playing the violin or anything you should continue for yourself. I'm sure your pieces are very lovely.
 
-Blue- said:
I know you probably don't want anyone to say anything, but it's not a matter of if you're skilled or not to warrant their comment and approval. People are just lazy af especially when it comes to online. You could perform a piece that could've been played during a live orchestra and no one would comment or like it. People are just hardwired to be on an endless brainrot doom scroll where they just shut their brains off and consume, consume, consume without adding. It's why I dislike social media so much.

If you like playing the violin or anything you should continue for yourself. I'm sure your pieces are very lovely.
Click to expand...

To add onto this, and fwiw, the most important thing I believe with any hobby is if it makes you happy or not. I've practiced martial arts for almost two decades now, but if you asked people about me and my skill they probably wouldn't know anything because I don't participate in tournaments. I just continue to do it because I'm passionate about it and it makes me happy, and those are pretty much the only reasons. Social media is honestly very much like that and is the main reason why I'm glad I don't use it.

This probably didn't need to be said either, but I thought I'd put in my two cents.
 
Thank you everyone, I appreciate the input. It does make me really happy to play violin and I love doing it. So I’m gonna try to not worry about responses/lack therof on Facebook anymore. You all have some good points. I think I just get overly self critical when I feel like there’s not a response. But I’m gonna keep playing and keep getting better and enjoying it ❤️
 
Autumn247 said:
Thank you everyone, I appreciate the input. It does make me really happy to play violin and I love doing it. So I’m gonna try to not worry about responses/lack therof on Facebook anymore. You all have some good points. I think I just get overly self critical when I feel like there’s not a response. But I’m gonna keep playing and keep getting better and enjoying it ❤️
Click to expand...
Believe me, I get it. Years ago when I was still a kid I had a DeviantArt account. It always frustrated me that I had to make maintaining my account a 24/7 ordeal to ever get anyone to notice anything I submitted. Then I just decided screw it and did art because I liked it and wanted to and if someone saw it great, but if they didn't then I didn't care because I just wanted to create stuff. I love this forum because you can share you stuff and it is noticed.

Good luck with your violin and anything else you try!
 
Autumn247 said:
It sucks when you put so much effort into something and it seems like people don’t care. I posted videos on Facebook yesterday of me playing bachs minuet in G on violin and one got no likes or comments and one got one like and no comments. And it’s not like they’re not getting views either. They’ve gotten like 20 plus views each and counting. I think my friends just scroll by when they see a video by me playing violin. Sometimes it makes me think I should just quit playing.
Click to expand...
I can't add much to what others have said, except to reiterate that you should do what makes  you happy!

I have to give you credit for being brave and sharing your music! I have played guitar for about 30 years now, and you will never find me sharing videos of what I play! But I play guitar because I love it, and it is relaxing. I don't do it for others approval.

It sounds like you genuinely love playing violin, so enjoy how playing makes  you feel!
 
I feel like I'm pressured to go back to my job. Apparently someone had interviewed to work in my department, and I'm scared I'll get replaced if I don't go back soon enough. But my manager said I can't go back to work until I'm feeling okay mentally, so I feel a bit stuck. It's either I return to work when I'm liable for another mental crisis or potentially lose my job. Ugh.
 
I really wasn't looking forward to the new year and there's already something going on to keep me awake when I didn't want to. It's almost 2 AM and my parents did something that may have triggered my allergies. I wish they had a normal sleep schedule... and weren't obsessed with having fires in the backyard. I am sick of this house.
 
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