I’ve lost all hope of ever getting into a relationship. I’ll be 23 in a month and I’ve never even had my first kiss. For years I kept thinking I’d eventually meet someone and it’s just never happened. Every time I confessed to someone they rejected me and when people did show interest in me I blew it one way or the other. Either I didn’t like them back, I said or did something that made them lose interest, or I was oblivious until it was too late.
I don’t blame anyone for not seeing me that way. I’m not good looking, I can barely hold a conversation outside of texting, I have psychiatric issues, and I dropped out of college. I know I wouldn’t date myself, that’s for sure.
I don’t mind being single right now, but knowing I’ll probably be like this the rest of my life bothers me. I hate thinking I’ll miss out on such a basic and common human experience. I don’t want to force anything though and I certainly don’t want to settle. That’s unfair to myself and unfair to the other person.
I need to go out and try to make friends irl. My online friends are great, but I need connections in person too.
I wouldn't fret, 23 is still quite young and you have plenty of runway even if it doesn't feel like it right now.
I'm in much the same boat as you in some of the aspects you mentioned, but I'm older. I'm somewhere along the asexual spectrum but not, like, 100%; not really attracted to, like, body parts, and for many years I was just flat out disinterested in finding a partner. As of the past few months after my most recent birthday, I've been increasingly feeling the urge to try to find someone myself since I'm not sex-repulsed or anything and I would like the companionship. Feeling that "now or never" anxiety.
While I can ultimately accept not ending up with anyone if life goes that way thanks to my, uh, unique orientation, now that I'm feeling that urge, I'm going to put forth my best and am going to try to see if anything might develop. I encourage you to not give up if it's something you want.
From what I've gathered from friends and other folks, dating is just kind of in a bad place in general for everybody nowadays.
Society's kinda collapsing and economic factors are stacked against the younger generations, and the lives a lot of us are leading aren't what we were told to expect. It's easy to look at where other people are in life and feel discouraged when we don't have this or that.
Work on improving the things you can change and accept those things that you can't. Easier said than done, I know, I'm a socially awkward introvert myself with a fair share of self-loathing, but hey. Can't catch a fish if you don't cast your line. Heck, maybe you don't even have a fishing pole yet, I know I never even set foot in the bait & tackle shop until recently and got mine. Put forth the effort and you'll get the hang of things eventually. It might take a while, it will most likely be quite frustrating along the way, but at least you'll know you tried. You might or might not land a prize catch, but you'll probably reel in a few cool fish along the way and make some memories. Even if a romantic relationship doesn't spring from any of this, you'll be better off for the connections you make and the things you learn throughout the endeavor of learning to socialize more in person.
Wishing you the best!
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