What's Bothering You?

my mom found out about my name i chose for when i was trans and i'm crying because i'm very scared
i was luckily able to cover the fact that i'm trans (having another gender identity crisis tho) but i'm still terrified.
 
Alright, all you perverted ****s. I hope this will be the LAST time that I will have to deal with this sort of thing. That faculty member and I are just tight like that, okay? I mean, he's like a father figure and mentor to me - as well to a majority of the students. And, the thing is, I can be very affectionate. But WTF? Ya'll are making it a big ****ing fuss over nothing. It's nothing appropriate. This guy literally is just going above and beyond to ensure that I'm getting my ****ing academics done. And he takes care of the ****ing animals and everyone and just cares so deeply about stuff like that. So **** ya'll who think he's a perv. Cause he's absolutely not.
 
I know I’ve posted about this before, but I was in a toxic friendship. The friendship ended extremely poorly and the girl ended up treating me like crap and talked trash about me to my peers (along with other things). Well, I was thankful to be kicked out of that friendship, until she messaged me saying: “I miss you.” I don’t have the heart to tell her I don’t want her to be part of my life anymore, and now we are hanging out in a few days. I wish I could stand up for myself.
 
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Wish that my mom was still around for this Mother’s Day. It’s going to be kind of weird without her. </3

Now I’m crying. :(
 
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Wish that my mom was still around for this Mother’s Day. It’s going to be kind of weird without her. </3

Now I’m crying. :(
Sending a hug your way, friend. You are so strong; please allow yourself to feel what needs to be felt. <3

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Period cramps + period fatigue + allergies = so sleepy, so sneezy.
 
Screenshot_20210504-005425_Nintendo Switch Online.jpg

whaaaa...? Can't be true. I haven't played since May 25th 2020. I feel sad. I haven't touched splatoon in so long. I wonder if online players are better these days because if so then l should return.
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also l played this game so many times since 2018 of june and l'm still at level 45 because of how much l don't get a chance to actually play for a long time, plus the horrible hackers and bad players ruined the fun. I'm always busy with crafts and l hate it.
 
I'm feeling pretty anxious today. I let my insecurities get to me every time I do something. I have a fear of failure and screwing things up, so I'm terrified of completing even simple tasks. Today I just felt paralyzed by fear. I still feel like such an imposter in my job.
 
Wish that my mom was still around for this Mother’s Day. It’s going to be kind of weird without her. </3

Now I’m crying. :(
I'm sorry Riley. I won't say hope you feel better soon cause I know grief can be really difficult (I know it's not quite the same as losing a parent but I can't get over my cat Daisy) but what i can say is were always here for you and you can talk to us anytime you need to.
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anyways what I came here to say was, last night i was looking online at all the different SMB plushies and i discovered something thats really upsetting. most of the plushies are $11-20 which is reasonable enough, but the one that I want (mr thwompo himself) is $40?????

like why bro I've been wanting one for so long 😭😭😭
and it's not like I don't have the money for it, I have plenty from working, but damn that's a big price to pay. it did say he's a 12" tall plush so it's prob still a good purchase?

I just know im gonna feel an overwhelming sense of guilt if I spend that much on one thing.
 
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I've a big exam (my last ever!) tomorrow and I can't seem to just sit down and concentrate on studying. I know this stuff, I used to do it for a living, so why am I avoiding it? Also when I'm anxious I subconsciously bite/pick at my bottom lip until it bleeds so I also look terrible right now and am consequently a little self-conscious about that. 😅
 
I’m really afraid something I’ve said to someone I care about has seriously hurt them. I don’t know if I’m overthinking or what, but I’m afraid that I’m pushing them too hard. I wanted to let them know that I felt that we weren’t on the same page and how that made me feel (in my mind, I was thinking that they tend to not talk about how they feel too much and the discussion of becoming more than friends has never been initiated by them. Basically, I felt that I like them more than they like me). We both feel that we want to be more than friends, it’s just that I’ve become too paranoid and I told them I’m worried that I’m pressuring them. I felt that I talk more about my feelings and got worried that they didn’t feel the same. Today, they told me that they had a dream of me standing them up on a date (which means not showing up) and now I’m afraid that I’ve hurt them. I don’t know how to approach it, merely saying sorry seems inadequate. I keep fearing that I’ll ruin what we have because of me. I think that I’ve been acting too serious when we’re just friends and I asked too much from him.
 
my mom keep asking 20 questions whenever i get back from work, like it's like i have to hold a 42 slide powerpoint lecture sometimes.. ugh just shut up.. i said it was good although a lot of new things to learn doesn't mean the latter is bad??? lol
 
the school did fire drills in all the dorms today and I knew about it well in advance but it still managed to give me two panic attacks (first when I heard it happen in another dorm nearby, second when it actually happened here) :,,,,,,)
 
I feel like it's been ages since I've had a REALLY good laugh with anyone outside of my day to day life right now. Perhaps it's because I'm missing my best friend and haven't seen her since March last year and probably won't see her this year (we live in different parts of the country) that's getting me down at the moment. Either way it just sucks that I can't remember the last time I got to be silly and end up in a fit of giggles with my bestie over anything and then laugh about it again later on.
 
Bakugo bun is headed to the vet. There seems to be nobody who knows about rabbit care available and he’s going to be “squeezed in” there’s an er but they don’t know about bunnies. Am I an idiot for not caring how much it cost and making him wait to be seen just so he can see someone who specializes in rabbit care? Idk I hate that I can’t be there with him. I just want him to get better. He’s my little companion. I should have listened to my instincts and taken him in yesterday
 
Bakugo bun is headed to the vet. There seems to be nobody who knows about rabbit care available and he’s going to be “squeezed in” there’s an er but they don’t know about bunnies. Am I an idiot for not caring how much it cost and making him wait to be seen just so he can see someone who specializes in rabbit care? Idk I hate that I can’t be there with him. I just want him to get better. He’s my little companion. I should have listened to my instincts and taken him in yesterday
For the animal's sake it would be better to get him seen immediately, and then see a specialist later for a second opinion if you have reason to doubt the diagnosis.
 
its my best friends bday and i feel like a bad friend because i havent gotten her anything :( but i cant afford anything bc i dont have my own money to spend :/ i cant help but still feel bad tho, especially since some of her other friends got her gifts too
 
I love how my county is at extreme risk, but there are still very few people wearing masks outside (sarcasm). It’s like they think the decreased infection rate makes it okay for them to put others at risk.

Also I’m trying to become friends with someone, but I don’t want to come off as pushy. It’s hard because I have scared potential friends off in the past.
 
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