i really don’t know where to begin with this. i posted a while ago that both my kittens were diagnosed with an incurable illness (initially thought to be FIV, but apparently they actually have FIP), and things have not been going well. alize is still showing no signs of illness, but mazikeen is and is incredibly sick. her abdomen is completely filled with fluid, she’s rapidly losing weight (i can feel her spine when i pet her), she has little appetite, and is very lethargic. she has yet to be taken back to the vet for further testing as my mother can’t get her into the carrier and won’t force her, but it’s very clear that she isn’t going to survive this.
alize keeps attacking her. we adopted them together as they’re apparently siblings (though they look nothing alike) and are ‘bonded’, but alize seems to despise her. mazikeen can’t do anything without being attacked, and she is unable to fight back. she can’t wait for food, go to the bathroom, scratch her claws, go anywhere near the cat tower or hang out anywhere that isn’t my mom’s bedroom without alize pouncing on her and biting/clawing her. it doesn’t matter what we do; we give her plenty of love, attention and play with her, and yet she only seems interested in attacking mazikeen.
because of this, alize always has to be babysat to ensure that she stays away from mazikeen, and that alone is slowly destroying this family. nobody feels good right now physically or mentally, and having eyes on alize 24/7 just isn’t possible. my mother is having a flare-up of her own illness, my mental health is at an all-time low, my new antidepressants are making me feel physically ill, and i’m battling teeth infections that i’m being forced to live with until next month when the teeth will be extracted; i’ve been on antibiotics 3 times in the span of less than 2 months, recently developed a tooth abscess, and yet my extraction date was still pushed back 2 weeks.
out of everything going on, the main thing that’s ruining me is all the yelling. my parents have extremely explosive tempers, so i honestly should be used to it by now... but i’m not. i’m woken up by the sounds of my parents screaming either at each other or at alize, and i go to bed to the same thing. i wake up stressed, go to bed stressed. it is a daily occurrence, and has been almost my entire life, and i can’t tolerate it anymore. my tipping point was tonight, when my mother started screaming at alize that she was a horrible ****ing cat and that she hates her. my father of course joined in. i understand their anger, but this is too much. there’s never a ****ing break from this, i never get away from them or this household. i was clean from an unhealthy coping mechanism for over a year, and i relapsed tonight. i just want to go to bed, but i know tomorrow will not be any better.
