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What's Bothering You?

Did you pay them in advance and or where was this transaction made? If you didn't pay for it, I wouldn't worry about it and move on. Unless you really want it. If you did pay them and it's clear that there isn't any progress of any kind done, I'd understand being annoyed. Like I know Etsy has something like a item not received button for when there was no service. There comes a time when you've given someone enough patience, especially when money is tendered. People have to realize it's still a service that needs to be met and isn't a hobby when money is involved.
i did pay half upfront via paypal, yes, and i would really prefer the art, i just don't want to seem rude or impatient by messaging them more often than i should. here's the timeline so far for anyone interested and/or willing to offer advice:
  • march 19th: i contact them to order 6 pieces for a commission. they're made using a base and are simple-ish gifs. they say the work will be done asap and that they should have at least 1 piece done by the following tuesday (march 22nd).
  • march 25th: after hearing nothing back, they message me on discord saying they caught a bug going around, which is perfectly fine, as i tell them.
  • april 4th: i message them asking for an update, saying i don't mind if they're busy with school/work or still sick, i'd just like some transparency. they get back to me almost immediately saying they just got over their sickness and that i could expect a piece by the next day (april 5th). next day comes around, they say it might still be tomorrow (april 6th) because they got caught off-guard by other things that were neglected due to them being sick. again, i say this is fine.
  • april 11th: i hear nothing back until now. they say they dragged themselves out of art-block and are no longer sick or busy so they're going to be working today. i tell them that's great, and that's the last i've heard from them.
i try to wait a week exactly before i message again because i don't want to seem pushy. i genuinely don't mind waiting for art, i just prefer some transparency (especially where money's involved) because of my anxiety. i just checked, and they've posted a few personal art pieces to their toyhouse recently (two on april 14th, one on march 31st), but idk about commissions, so.
 
Some things I don't like about being a kid is a) having to ask permission for just about everything, and b) being dependent on my parents. While I'm glad I don't have to worry about things like food and taxes, I feel that there are some drawbacks. If I could, I would bake a cake at 11:30 in the morning. But I'd have to ask my parents first, and they'd say it's "too early" and make me eat breakfast or lunch first. Though I see their point, I woke up less than an hour ago.
Another thing is that I'm very dependent on my dad to get Dog Man books at the moment. To put into perspective of how much I want those books, I keep having dreams about receiving them almost every day and it's all I think about. I feel that it's getting to an obsessive point and I'm a little concerned. Anyway, just about every day I pester my dad with, "So, any luck with those Dog Man books?" I do feel bad 'cause my dad gets annoyed, but I feel the need to be persistent 'cause he almost never keeps his promises.
On Wednesday I asked him the same question, and he said, "I'll be driving to Montréal sometime this week and will pick up the books then." But I don't know if he's being honest. I get it though, since the death of my uncle both my parents have been busy with moving his stuff plus the funeral. I wish I was an adult so I'd have more freedom, but then again I don't know if I'd still want those Dog Man books. And of course, there would be a ton of responsibilities that I currently feel unprepared for.
 
Sometimes I feel like I gaslighted myself way too many times that I end up sabotaging things. I really need to stop doing this.
 
i did pay half upfront via paypal, yes, and i would really prefer the art, i just don't want to seem rude or impatient by messaging them more often than i should. here's the timeline so far for anyone interested and/or willing to offer advice:
  • march 19th: i contact them to order 6 pieces for a commission. they're made using a base and are simple-ish gifs. they say the work will be done asap and that they should have at least 1 piece done by the following tuesday (march 22nd).
  • march 25th: after hearing nothing back, they message me on discord saying they caught a bug going around, which is perfectly fine, as i tell them.
  • april 4th: i message them asking for an update, saying i don't mind if they're busy with school/work or still sick, i'd just like some transparency. they get back to me almost immediately saying they just got over their sickness and that i could expect a piece by the next day (april 5th). next day comes around, they say it might still be tomorrow (april 6th) because they got caught off-guard by other things that were neglected due to them being sick. again, i say this is fine.
  • april 11th: i hear nothing back until now. they say they dragged themselves out of art-block and are no longer sick or busy so they're going to be working today. i tell them that's great, and that's the last i've heard from them.
i try to wait a week exactly before i message again because i don't want to seem pushy. i genuinely don't mind waiting for art, i just prefer some transparency (especially where money's involved) because of my anxiety. i just checked, and they've posted a few personal art pieces to their toyhouse recently (two on april 14th, one on march 31st), but idk about commissions, so.
Ok, so several things are standing out to me here. 1. They keep giving you a timeline and breaking it. They could very well be actually working on it right now as they say, but even I don’t believe it until they actually finish it. Who even knows at this point. Which says that they’ve broken trust and I would not commission someone in the future who has broken my trust.
2. They’ve been waiting for you to contact them before saying anything about what’s going on. If they give you a timeline and that time has passed they should be able to come to you by acknowledging the situation. I get how life and situations come up, but in a situation where money is involved a simple hey I know I said it would be ready by this time but things have come up says a lot more about their reliability to me.
As for what you should do in this situation is up to how comfortable you feel with it, but I think you have a right to feel however you’re feeling. I think what’s most important is that you need to decide where your personal boundaries are and see them through. While I think some situations are ok to put others first before yourself I don’t think this situation is one of them just my opinion. If you don’t put up proper boundaries with people they will not give you respect and will take advantage of that fact. If people push your boundaries it’s ok to push back.
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Sometimes I feel like I gaslighted myself way too many times that I end up sabotaging things. I really need to stop doing this.
You may not believe this, but if you seek out comfort you’ll never find it, but if you search for the truth in yourself you may just find exactly that. So I’d have to say you’re right in this
 
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So one of my online friends made an AO3 account, and we talked about it for a bit. But an online friend of ours got upset and put in their activity: "i feel left out : ) i hope they dont stop using Q to only talk on AO3…" And it made me pretty upset. Are they seriously being petty about that? I think they're being a little jealous here.

My parents have like four friends over, so I'm here locking myself in my room. I don't like having guests over 'cause then we have to clean a ton and I have to look "presentable" and my parents make me interact with the guests. As soon as they're in the house I run upstairs, but not without the expense of a snarky "stop trying to be quirky" from my brother. 🙄 Maybe my friends were right about me being anti-social...

Not to mention that my parents have been playing country music non-stop. They say it's for my late grandfather and my late uncle, and I don't wanna be rude but it's getting on my nerves a ton. It's one of my least favorite music genres, apart from pop and rap. And still no news about the Dog Man books... Come on, dad. :/
 
My parents' friends are still here... I want to take a shower but I can't when there's so much people... Just please leave... They're being really loud and annoying right now...
 
Our internet has been sooooooo slow lately (probably doesn't help that the activity on the forums has gone up with the event). Can't even load images or react easily.

Me: "Please internet, I just want to react to people's posts. It's all I ask for." *fake cry*
Internet: "No, you suck."
Me: D:

😂
 
I should not have been working during that time unfortunately. The manager had me working immediately after my surgery without any recovery time. Even after seeing a picture of my bruised face, it wasn’t enough apparently. I was only placed on light duty, which was honestly surprising. I wasn’t even expecting that to happen. I had a very manipulative manager. There’s a reason I don’t work there anymore.

Anyway, thank you for responding. I’m a bit sensitive on the inside so even stupid comments like this get to me. It’s probably a kid thinking it’s cool to troll online, especially since it happened on YouTube.
That's insane. I'm glad you don't work there anymore. Managers like that are the worst and are a dime a dozen sadly.

@daringred_ I was going to comment sort of what Rainy said. I've made orders from people on Etsy and it'd be months without communication, them taking forever, making up excuses all the time ect. It's one thing if you didn't pay, but as you did, it's now a service that they must meet. A lot of people take up these gigs and accounts/businesses and treat them like they are a hobby. When money is involved it is no longer a hobby. It's a job and must be treated like one.

Like you mentioned seeing them drawing personal 'fun' stuff and I've seen people who do that have a response locked and loaded like they have a right to draw what they want to ect ect. But you also have a right to take your business elsewhere. To someone who will probably not make you wait a month and not have anything to show. If you want to wait a few more days to message them that is fine. I would suggest asking for a picture update, regardless of the progress done, just to see what is actually done. And you may be able to catch them in a bluff if they don't have anything done. And if you can, get your money back from paypal if they haven't fulfilled your request by this point. That's just me though.
 
I really dislike how people post subliminal memes or messages (on discord, facebook, etc.) indirectly but you know 1000% it’s about you. Seems really immature to do, tbh.
Or on their bio. I used to have a friend who had a one sided crush on me. Once they found a partner they ghosted me. A year later I reached out platonically and they said some nasty things. They changed their bio to “why can’t some people get a hint.” Once I unfriended them they removed that part. Some people are just nasty like that.
 
Or on their bio. I used to have a friend who had a one sided crush on me. Once they found a partner they ghosted me. A year later I reached out platonically and they said some nasty things. They changed their bio to “why can’t some people get a hint.” Once I unfriended them they removed that part. Some people are just nasty like that.
Oh, wow. That’s really immature. I’m sorry that happened. I think people like that aren’t really worth your time. I like to think I’m looking way too much into it, but it seems like I’m just trying to justify their behavior. That sort of sounds similar to a situation I used to be in.
 
I have someone I work with who I’d like to be friends with outside of work. I talked to her quite a bit about traveling and today, I found out we both have chocolate labs. She got really deep a few days ago and told me a bunch of very personal stuff that I won’t share because it’s her business. She has bipolar disorder and I admittedly don’t know much about it so I’m looking up more information about it. I really don’t think she’d have a problem with being friends outside of work, especially since she was the one who gave me a ride home last Friday and she seems to trust me a lot. I’m trying to be careful with how I approach this, though. She’s on severe depression and bipolar meds, but we surprisingly have quite a bit in common.
An update on this: I’m gonna just give her my snap today and see how that goes.
 
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