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What's Bothering You?

Yesterday I went to target excitedly because the website said my nearest one had the series 5 acnh amiibo in stock... only for them to be out of stock at the store 😭😭 curse you target all i want is shino
 
I have way too many Doctor appointments. I know I am trying my best to get the help I need but I feel like this is getting a bit too much. Doctors and Nurses will tell me different things and telling me the same lecture of "Keep monitoring your Blood Pressure and Blood Sugar" As if I needed to be reminded for like the 50th time.
 
I've recently learned that I experience abandonment issues and since realizing this it's like I can suddenly notice when it's acting up. Which at the moment is a lot due to some friend group struggles. I feel horrible bc of it and also ashamed of myself. I know I'm not always going to feel this way but the realization that I do and the way I've hurt others in the past due to this... that hurts.
 
Troubled by some stuff that happened a couple months or so ago. 😔 Also, upset about someone coming to our house even after my dad was exposed to covid to let us know the value of our house. i still don’t want to move so honestly part of me wants to destroy something so we don’t have to move :/. i’m not ready; don’t think i can mentally take it since i’m still not over losing my cat from last month, october and my general situation


Edit: i’m eating in the kitchen and he doesn’t have his mask on to go to the bathroom. my mom asked him where his mask is and he said he’s just going to the bathroom. unbelievable. i doubt that even if i get sick and die he’d change his behavior. probably didn’t wash his hands with soap either 🤢.
 
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THIS MAN????????? 😭 i’m gonna scream i s2g.

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this is my new school guidance counsellor. nobody informed me that i had a new guidance counsellor, and i didn’t know until he emailed me himself last friday and asked me to make an appointment so he could talk to me about something. i scheduled an appointment, it was for monday at 12:30pm. HE STOOD ME UP. i waited for him for an HOUR, and my new guidance counsellor STOOD ME UP and didn’t offer any explanation or anything. he just straight-up ghosted me.

i informed my school yesterday that i’d be gone until the 25th as i’m having a dental procedure done next week and will need time to recover. guess who finally got in touch with me, still offering no explanation and not even ACKNOWLEDGING the appointment time we had set for monday. he also only gave me 55 minutes to respond, and even if i wasn’t at the doctors at that time, i still would’ve been unable to meet with him as i would’ve been in CLASS. this man stands me up, knows not a ****ing thing about me, and he’s my guidance counsellor now??

maybe i’m irrationally mad right now, but bro. him standing me up genuinely upset me so bad and highkey shoved me into a depressive episode that i, up until then, had been successfully fighting off. i urgently needed to talk to him about something, and him not showing up has left me insanely anxious and depressed all week. i was so anxious for our meeting, too, and that anxiety just had... nowhere to go when he stood me up. and now i may have to deal with that anxiety again, but probably worse this time, if we manage to set up another meeting?? i hate it here lol.
 
✂ -snip-
I am so so sorry to hear that xara, that must be down-right awful to deal with. Though sadly I do not have any advice to give, I shall bestow upon you my consolations. I hope things turn out for the better, you are an amazing person no matter what people might think otherwise. <3

I simply do not understand my online friend. So according to their logic, me writing fanfiction about two fictional characters is weird, but them writing fanfiction about real YouTubers isn't? That makes sense. 🙄

Edit: I'm biting the inside of my mouth a ton and it hurts, but I keep doing it anyway and I don't know why. T^T
 
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Someone made a thread here advertising counterfeit money, and I am way too concerned about it.
I already reported them 4 times because they keep spamming and posting it. I also made a post in contacting the mods privately about this person.

Edit: Seems like everything has been taken care of!
 
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That's so infuriating. I do not know your whole situation there, but have you tried filing a complaint against your guidance counselor? It's quite shocking how he's acting in this way to the point that you're being mentally impacted by it. How does your school think it's okay to let it slide like this? It's not very professional of him and should be replaced asap. It's definitely not irrational for you to be mad about this, especially when your opportunities are being jeopardized. Hang in there, xara. If you need a chat with any one of us, please feel free to do so. 💙

I already reported them 4 times because they keep spamming and posting it. I also made a post in contacting the mods privately about this person.

Edit: Seems like everything has been taken care of!
Good work on reporting those threads and the moderators taking them. I saw it myself a little while ago and felt uncomfortable just skimming through it. Is it even a person doing it? Because their posts were extremely long and were created within minutes of each other unless they copied and pasted them.
 
Having a difficult class while your aunt is terminally ill is a nasty combination.
 
Had to come in to work today (after only yesterday being told I could have today off) because someone was sick 😓 I was really looking forward to catching up on some stuff and now I am just grumpy and tired
 
This past week has really just been me feeling like I'm at my limit and if I can't distract myself to cope via special interest I feel like I will breakdown and it's honestly. Very frustrating. Horrible. Don't recommend. I have had one (1) shift this week instead of what should have been 4. My partner came home from visiting family and I broke down and just retreated to the bedroom. I called a help line yday.

I kinda got triggered recently by an irl being like "I wish you could tell this to [friend that isn't speaking to me]". Me too man. I would if I could but if I try they'll literally push me away more. I cannot. And having this sore subject brought up to me doesn't help my recently horrid mental health.

And I know I'm overreacting. I know I have abandonment issues. I don't have therapy access so I'm just trying my best to distract myself through this and focus on other things while I hope that I will be able to talk to [friend] again soon and talk this out like I've been begging them to. This situation just hurts and I feel so betrayed for placing trust in them and thinking I'd be able to get close to them.

(None of the people mentioned are tbters)
 
Yesterday I went to target excitedly because the website said my nearest one had the series 5 acnh amiibo in stock... only for them to be out of stock at the store 😭😭 curse you target all i want is shino
I hate when websites do that, lost count on how many times it happened where I live. At least have someone repeatedly update the stock or just don't have it as that, I mean I find it highly unlikely someone will buy up all of them like that... or idk.
 
I’m so oblivious to flirting sometimes.

Two weeks ago:
Her: “I’m just changing into my nightwear 😊
Me with her flirting going wayyy over my head: “Alright cool 😊

(It’s still going quite well, but I’m more aware now.)
 
If instagram could stop recommending me those cringe-y tiktok reels with outfit changes all the time that'd be nice.
 
y’know, my cat dying was actually quite homophobic when you think about it. like, didn’t she know that i still need her lol. she was only 11, why is she dead. how come i can barely look at alize some days when the grief is drowning me because she’s not her. how the **** has she only been dead for 5 months. it feels like its only been a week, and 30 years, all at the same time.

i’m not trynna be a downer today since i’m really excited for tbt’s easter egg hunt tonight, but i just. i miss my cat. she was my absolute best friend and the only family i had and my safe space. she was everything, and now she’s just... gone?

i know this probably all seems really dramatic and insane because she was just a cat, but not to me. she was my solace, bro. my reason to live, to leave my room, to make nice with my family. she was my favourite person, and i still don’t know how to navigate the world, or what it means to me, without her. nothing has made me want to give up faster than her dying. life is surreal without her. i just want to talk to her again. i miss her so much. i miss just sitting with her and winking at her to make her meow and just being next to her. i miss her so, so bad.
 
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