• The Bell Tree Fair 2024's closing ceremony is finally here! Event results, TBTer drawings, collectible reveal, quiz answers, art, stories, raffles, and more. You can find the six-part thread in the Bulletin Board! Thank you, everyone, for making our TBT birthday celebration so special!

What's Bothering You?

-How did my bed get so messy to the point where all my blankets fall off?! Now I have to fix it again...
-This Easter chocolate is making me severely dehydrated. ._.
-Spring Bloom Egg... Out of stock... I need it...
-My room is messy but I don't feel like cleaning it. -,-
-Why is it so dark in my room?!
-I'm just feelin' really bored right now. :I
-I want to play Majora's Mask but I don't feel like restarting the Snowhead Temple, my slow *** couldn't complete it within the 3-day cycle. :,)
-Where the heck did the time go?! Last time I checked it was 11:25 PM.
 
I really need to shower, but it's 12 in the morning. My dad has to get up at 3, so I don't want to wake him up. I'm scared if I don't get up in time tomorrow morning, I'm going to take an exam looking like a greasy mess. I'm thinking of pulling an all-nighter just so I ensure getting up early enough for a shower. Probably not smart, but I've done it before an exam before in the past. I did perfectly fine. I'm not sure anymore.
 
I finally figured out one of the reasons why I was happier as a kid and why I’m doing better this year.

I was listening to an NPR Life Kit episode on living happily with autism. The guest expert mentioned that many people on the spectrum “mask” their behavior to be treated better by neurotypicals. This in turn makes them exhausted and depressed. As a kid I never masked. People treated me poorly for being different, but I didn’t care. I was simply being myself. Once I became a teenager I did everything to mask myself. People saw right through me and saw my masking as being fake. I ended up being treated even worse. At the start of the year I decided to just be myself and try not to care what others think. My mood has been much better as a result.

I’m so glad I finally know what this term is. It makes my feel validated in my experiences of struggling to fit in. The part that makes me sad is that many of us have to mask our behavior. Otherwise we’re called creepy or weird. I’m doing better at just being myself, but it does make me sad that so many people on the spectrum have to do this to be social.
 
once again back to waking up in my absolutely freezing room. I'm even wearing a beanie bc I couldn't sleep with my head being so cold 🥶
there's no reason for the temp to be 37° right now. the high is actually 38 so ig today is gonna be a "wrapped in my heated blanket like a cocoon all day" kinda day 😔

also sad bc I have to wait for the junimo eggs to be back in stock, I want my bby 🥺💙
 
my eyes are really sore, especially the left one. for the last few weeks, the outer corners have hurt slightly when i squeeze my eyes shut and were a little dry. as of a week or so ago, i've also had unusually deep/visible bags that have been either dark red or purple-ish. as of yesterday morning, my eyes have started watering and stinging on top of all this, with the bags and outer corner dryness getting worse. my mom thinks it's hayfever, which i've never had before. i took a tablet this morning and yesterday morning but no improvement so far. wish it would stop.
 
I pulled my bigger heated blanket out of the hall closet bc it's so cold in here, but it smells really stuffy and weird 😩
 
Really not ready to be back at work this week. I feel like I didn't do enough this past weekend that I wanted to do. I'm also just really tired and don't have the energy to deal with whatever today is going to throw at me.

Edit: I just realized... I poured so much mental energy into the TBT Egg Hunt that's probably why I don't feel like I got a break.
 
I just realized something. So a few days ago, I didn't know where to put my sketchbook so I put it in between my mattresses. (I have two of those stacked on top of another.) And the other day my dad's friend had to sleep in my bed because they were staying for the night. (I had to sleep in my brother's room and he made me sleep on the floor...) I sort of forgot I left my sketchbook in my mattresses, and I didn't do a good job of hiding it either. So my dad's friend probably saw it, and worse probably looked through it as well. So far they didn't say anything about it, but now I'm worried about that. 🥲
 
Just found out my mom has covid. My dad stopped wearing a mask before this happened; my dad though can’t admit he’s wrong and he just said he doesn’t understand how for two years we were fine. I’m really upset and scared about all of this even though we’re vaccinated.
 
My head hurts and so do my eyes, I feel dizzy, and I'm super hungry. All I had today was a cup of tea. (Though I currently have two grilled cheeses sitting on a frying pan right now.) I don't wanna go to school tomorrow, and my brother + my dad's friend have been playing Xenoblade Chronicles 2 for the past few days. No bad feelings towards the game, but hearing the same music and sound effects can be tiring, especially since they play all day and at night when I'm trying to sleep.

Edit: I burned the grilled cheese because I put the stove option on high and left the grilled cheese there while I was writing this post. :(
 
I'm feeling kinda worried that I won't have enough eggs by the night to get the Spring Blossom egg. Also, when I submitted 3 puzzle clue guesses, I'm worried they may not be correct. Who knows really, I may just have to let fate decide.
 
there are some friends i have that i will never be able to hug
 
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