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What's Bothering You?

art block D: also idk how i'm suppose to draw these rather detailed fullbody characters with a mouse haha
 
I stayed up too late and now I’m really un motivated today. Also my co worker isn’t here today which means twice as much work for me. Also she left her paper work here and didn’t ask me if I would turn it in for me she kind of just assumed. I probably would have done it anyway if she had asked, but still. I pretty much have to give up my lunch break to do it. She’s actually kind of an evil genius anyway because she knows I need to go down there for myself, but won’t if I can avoid it, so I can’t really be upset with her.
 
My online friend confessed to me... I really didn't want to upset them, but I declined 'cause I know it won't work. They're four years younger than me, lives in Europe (aka we won't be able to see each other in person), and I don't really like the idea of dating someone online. My parents would blow a fuse if I had an online girlfriend. Now they're really upset and I feel bad, but I know that it's for the better...
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I CANNOT STAND MY BROTHER!!! That little ****-head is bothering me AGAIN and I totally lost it. I usually don't say this, but I wish my parents were home a bit more often so he wouldn't make a bunch of noise! He does that 'cause my parents don't chastise him and he doesn't listen to me when I tell him to stop. Anyway, I told him that I was gonna go play on the Switch, then he gets off the computer and says, "No, I'M playing on the Switch!" Then I say, "So that means I get to use the computer." In which he replies with, "No, I'm still using it!" And when I say that I'll play on the Switch again, he says, "Okay, but on handheld 'cause I'm gonna use the TV to watch YouTube." So I ask, "Can I use the computer then, to do trades in ACNH?" And he says, "No, I'm still using it!" I got so frustrated I screamed and stomped upstairs. He trails after me and says, "Since you're playing on the Switch, I'm using the Chromebook." Which is a fat ****ing lie, because I'm currently using it. Why does he have to make my life such a living hell? And now he won't leave me alone. He asks if he can use the Switch, and I say, "Go ahead, just stop bothering me." And finally, his response was, "Okay, I'll annoy you instead of using the Switch." AAAAAGGHHHH!!!
 
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I have to leave early tomorrow morning and I have like 934921 things to do before I go and combining that with the egg hunt I'm too overwhelmed to do anything at all lol 😭 😭
 
My dad: do u want to join us for a lil Easter gathering

Thinks about how loud they are despite their autistic child
Thinks about how rude they were at my Birthday
Thinks about being in a loud place

Anxiety +100000 points
I'd rather not but they are family and I don't want to be alone so I Should
 
I am so sick omg

It's not even a sick-sick (I think, I haven't taken my temperature) I feel sick cause I'm overworked and stressed from work, but no one else seems to realize this. I'm constantly relied on to do things or help out with somethin else. My name is called so often when certain things happen or need to be done. I'm expected to do 10 things at once and managing it all in a timely proficient fashion, no delays no lapses. I've been working 40+ hour work weeks for the past month, possibly 2.

What gets me more thou is that other people can work 40+ work weeks and be fine, they do it all the time. Like, my body really can't handle 40-43 hour work weeks for a month or so without crashing and burning like it did today?

My entire body aches, esp my back, legs and knees. I feel hot all time time and really cold sometimes, eating is hard, I felt like I wanted to maybe puke a few times, I was running on near empty, my throat is sore, my head hurts, my stomach hurts, earlier today I was so god damn tired that it was a struggle to not go to sleep right on the spot. At one point I had to sit down while drying dogs off on top of the counter (normally I stand) for the rest of my shift cause my legs and knees hurt so much, it took too much energy to keep standing. While drying dogs off on the floor I kept my back pressed against the counter wall thingy since that made it not hurt, but it also puts me in an awkward spot and I can't dry off the entirety of the dog there so at times I had to get off of it. I struggled lifting dogs up cause I had zero energy, plus bending hurts my knees and headache. I mean, a fat Sheltie (basically small Collies) was a struggle to make stand up for me with my arm.

And this is just Friday! I have to do all of this and more tomorrow cause it's the day before a holiday so it's gonna be slammed. I have go throu all of this again and more😞 We're already short staffed in the back, along with a multitude of other issues, if I call out or even leave early it really ***** over the other people working back there.

I took asprin for the body pain but I don't think it helped much. Also, some part of me wonders if I'm playing this up too much, like it's really not that bad and I'm just over reacting.

Atleast tomorrow I get to see 3 out of many of my fav dogs (they come every Saturday without fail).
 
an artist i commissioned a month ago now, i think. was promised a sketch a few days after the initial contact but didn't receive it because they fell ill which is fine, but several updates later and there's still been no sketch. idk if it's because they're doing sketches for all 6 characters to show at once, but i wish they'd at least be more transparent and say if that's the case 😣
 
There is a chance that I misread the tone, but I’m bothered that happened on a discord server. A friend said they were sleep deprived and I sent them good vibes, which is what we do there when people are having a bad day or something. I was just trying to be nice… she has been passive aggressive to me a bit when i tried awkwardly to joke but it fell flat when i tried to explain joke; I put up with it since she is going through a lot. And she also is to people she doesn’t like.
Since my dad has covid, i really don’t have the patience to tolerate that right now and frankly I’m tired of that behavior period and being stepped on and apologizing when i didn’t do anything wrong.

Also my dad’s phone or tablet is so loud i can hear it with my door shut.
 
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This wasn’t on here but:
I posted that I was working a solo shift at 7-Eleven at night and we got robbed. Someone replied to it and said “Good I don’t feel sorry for u. u deserve it because god doesn’t let bad things happen to good people.” It must be easy to be an ******* behind a screen.
 
@Croconaw Sorry you had to go through that! I had something similar happen when I worked construction late at night one time. People rip the copper out of walls (mostly drug-addicts) since scrap is so expensive. That was a nerve-wracking night lol... Especially when I was told to investigate the loud noises.

Glad that you're alright. I mean physically...since it is very nerve-wracking. That was just some stupid troll, probably even a child who thinks they were being edgy. Try not to pay them any mind.

@Stella-Io Give them an inch and they will take a mile. Not trying to be rude. Been there before, where so many people seemingly relied on me, but at at the same time were so incompetent that they couldn't pick up after themselves. Your higher-ups aren't going to say anything, even if it is evident that you are struggling from exhaustion and need a day to recharge. If you need a day off to rest, find a way to make it happen. Your health is more important than your corporate company.

I don't know about where you're from or your place of business, but most places are short-staffed because they don't value/treat their employees right and pay them terribly. That's not someone you should be bending over backwards for. They wouldn't do the same for you. Our workforce wouldn't be so short-staffed if that were the case.

@daringred_ Did you pay them in advance and or where was this transaction made? If you didn't pay for it, I wouldn't worry about it and move on. Unless you really want it. If you did pay them and it's clear that there isn't any progress of any kind done, I'd understand being annoyed. Like I know Etsy has something like a item not received button for when there was no service. There comes a time when you've given someone enough patience, especially when money is tendered. People have to realize it's still a service that needs to be met and isn't a hobby when money is involved.

@Dunquixote Sorry your friend is making you feel that way. If it were me, I'd probably give them some space so they can cool themselves down and come back to you/their friends when they have a better attitude.
 
I feel so critical of myself for not preventing diabetes in the first place. The thing is I knew that something bad was happening to me but I made the stupid decision of ignoring the problem. The thing is I had problems last year with my doctors who somehow didn't get back to me when they took my blood. I also was told by a certain doctor who said "No matter how healthy you are, you're always going to have problems with your body" that part just crushed my soul and I just felt like nothing mattered anymore. So I started back eating Junk food.

The thing is I could've stopped myself from doing that but instead the addiction to junk food just got the better of me and it just out of control. Then it was only when by March 23rd that I started to feel so unwell. Thats when I told my mom to call 911 and thats how I ended up in the hospital. The doctors and nurses told me that I had diabetes because of my blood sugar being so high at 550. I knew at that point that it was the straw that broke the camels back because I allowed this to happen all because I didn't take my health seriously.

Now before anyone tries to cheer me up let me just explain one other thing. I have made improvements to my diet and my blood sugar has gone back to normal after taking insulin for the past 2 weeks. Whats driving me crazy is that I don't know if I have diabetes because my blood sugar ratings are more stable. The numbers were 105 in the Morning, 95 in the Afternoon, and 94 in the Evening. (this was today) This was before I ate a meal. So I beginning to wonder if maybe I somehow reversed the Diabetes or if for some reason I had enough Insulin from all the shots I've taken to get me back to normal. I don't know anymore and I feel like I've just lost my mind over this whole thing. I know I have an appointment coming on Monday to see the Diabetic doctor but I am just so unsure. Maybe I'm overthinking but this has just been getting to me so much these days and its affecting my mental health.
 
I feel so critical of myself for not preventing diabetes in the first place. The thing is I knew that something bad was happening to me but I made the stupid decision of ignoring the problem. The thing is I had problems last year with my doctors who somehow didn't get back to me when they took my blood. I also was told by a certain doctor who said "No matter how healthy you are, you're always going to have problems with your body" that part just crushed my soul and I just felt like nothing mattered anymore. So I started back eating Junk food.

The thing is I could've stopped myself from doing that but instead the addiction to junk food just got the better of me and it just out of control. Then it was only when by March 23rd that I started to feel so unwell. Thats when I told my mom to call 911 and thats how I ended up in the hospital. The doctors and nurses told me that I had diabetes because of my blood sugar being so high at 550. I knew at that point that it was the straw that broke the camels back because I allowed this to happen all because I didn't take my health seriously.

Now before anyone tries to cheer me up let me just explain one other thing. I have made improvements to my diet and my blood sugar has gone back to normal after taking insulin for the past 2 weeks. Whats driving me crazy is that I don't know if I have diabetes because my blood sugar ratings are more stable. The numbers were 105 in the Morning, 95 in the Afternoon, and 94 in the Evening. (this was today) This was before I ate a meal. So I beginning to wonder if maybe I somehow reversed the Diabetes or if for some reason I had enough Insulin from all the shots I've taken to get me back to normal. I don't know anymore and I feel like I've just lost my mind over this whole thing. I know I have an appointment coming on Monday to see the Diabetic doctor but I am just so unsure. Maybe I'm overthinking but this has just been getting to me so much these days and its affecting my mental health.
The point of insulin is to manage your blood sugar levels, so this is most likely why your levels have stabilised.

As much as it sucks, your doctor is right: unfortunately everyone has issues with their body and we cannot always control that. We just need to do our best to manage the conditions/symptoms so that we can keep ourselves in the best shape possible. I get it, by the way. I've nerve damage (this was definitely preventable), anaemia (was potentially preventable), internal cysts, and my testosterone levels are ****ed. I didn't learn of any of this until my late 20s when these things became an obvious problem and I sought diagnosis. Nothing can be done to cure it now, and there's no point in hating myself for it, so I just take what treatment I'm offered and get on with it. Take the time to feel sad and hate any decisions you felt led to this diagnosis, by all means, but after you just need to accept that this is what you need to live with and do your best to make sure it doesn't get worse. Be kind to yourself man, cos no one else is going to be.
 
The point of insulin is to manage your blood sugar levels, so this is most likely why your levels have stabilised.

As much as it sucks, your doctor is right: unfortunately everyone has issues with their body and we cannot always control that. We just need to do our best to manage the conditions/symptoms so that we can keep ourselves in the best shape possible. I get it, by the way. I've nerve damage (this was definitely preventable), anaemia (was potentially preventable), internal cysts, and my testosterone levels are ****ed. I didn't learn of any of this until my late 20s when these things became an obvious problem and I sought diagnosis. Nothing can be done to cure it now, and there's no point in hating myself for it, so I just take what treatment I'm offered and get on with it. Take the time to feel sad and hate any decisions you felt led to this diagnosis, by all means, but after you just need to accept that this is what you need to live with and do your best to make sure it doesn't get worse. Be kind to yourself man, cos no one else is going to be.
You see me right now I cannot handle this amount of stress. This is not helping my situation. If I have to be forced to do things that I have no choice to do then thats how its going to be. I allowed this to happen so I am going to DO things more seriously and MAKE sure that I don't end up back in the hospital. I am going to try really hard to be healthy and not let this happen again for the last time. I am sorry if I sound passive aggressive but this is just the type of stuff that I can't handle and I am just so sick and tired of gaslighting myself,
 
@Croconaw Sorry you had to go through that! I had something similar happen when I worked construction late at night one time. People rip the copper out of walls (mostly drug-addicts) since scrap is so expensive. That was a nerve-wracking night lol... Especially when I was told to investigate the loud noises.

Glad that you're alright. I mean physically...since it is very nerve-wracking. That was just some stupid troll, probably even a child who thinks they were being edgy. Try not to pay them any mind.
I should not have been working during that time unfortunately. The manager had me working immediately after my surgery without any recovery time. Even after seeing a picture of my bruised face, it wasn’t enough apparently. I was only placed on light duty, which was honestly surprising. I wasn’t even expecting that to happen. I had a very manipulative manager. There’s a reason I don’t work there anymore.

Anyway, thank you for responding. I’m a bit sensitive on the inside so even stupid comments like this get to me. It’s probably a kid thinking it’s cool to troll online, especially since it happened on YouTube.
 
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i came home yesterday after being away for a while and nobody told me my sister&mom were under the weather. they did a covid test yesterday, and the results came today and theyre positive.

what sucks is i was brushing my teeth yesterday & both of them came in the bathroom at THE SAME TIME. i was squeamish, my sister was wearing a mask but my mom wasn’t. i told them that if they had covid then i would hate them for putting me at risk (half playful mostly srs) and my mom brushed it off as it if would never happen. well ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ this sucks bc my grandma is also here & she drove 4 hours yesterday to get here(didn’t know about their sickness either). now she has to drive home the four whole hours again today after barely seeing us and i’m cryign and missing her already bc i really wanted to spend time with her :’( and i baked a carrot cake for easter and now noone can eat it lol
 
I have someone I work with who I’d like to be friends with outside of work. I talked to her quite a bit about traveling and today, I found out we both have chocolate labs. She got really deep a few days ago and told me a bunch of very personal stuff that I won’t share because it’s her business. She has bipolar disorder and I admittedly don’t know much about it so I’m looking up more information about it. I really don’t think she’d have a problem with being friends outside of work, especially since she was the one who gave me a ride home last Friday and she seems to trust me a lot. I’m trying to be careful with how I approach this, though. She’s on severe depression and bipolar meds, but we surprisingly have quite a bit in common.
 
My dad: do u want to join us for a lil Easter gathering

Thinks about how loud they are despite their autistic child
Thinks about how rude they were at my Birthday
Thinks about being in a loud place

Anxiety +100000 points
I'd rather not but they are family and I don't want to be alone so I Should
Sounds like my dad, wants to get along but yeah he basically snaps at me when he can *rolls eyes*

Also don't feel obliged just cause they are family, if he is like that I'd minimize the contact so he doesn't get a chance to do stuff.

Don't know if you can hang out with someone else or just skip it, but yeah.
 
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