I know how you feel about the trailing part. My mom would do this to me a lot before she and my dad separated (now I live with my dad). She would barge into my room a lot for no reason, and it would take forever for her to leave sometimes.
my dad is just like this. he's also extremely nosy, has to know exactly what I'm doing at all times. like if I get a package in the mail he has to know what it is, if I don't tell him he gets mad. and when I'm watching a video and he just barges in my room I close out of it briefly and he'll say something like "what were you watching", ive had to learn to say "that's not really any of your business". like I guarantee he would be less than pleased if he knew I binge watch Poofesure lol, not that it's his business anyways.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
something has been bothering me a lot for like a month now. I may have mentioned it in here before but I gotta say it again. about a month ago I went to an official visitation for the youth group which I was a member of for just about 10 years and im still active in as an adult. at some point during our car ride I was talking with one of the adults who has known for forever, and I was talking about struggling finding a job. when I told her that I can't work full time she said "oh I think you'd be able to work full time."
as a kid I was reeeeeeally good at hiding my disability and I learned to just kinda brush it off as something unimportant. but as an adult I can't do that anymore, it's so detrimental to my mental health to understand my needs and limitations. these people who remember child me so well aren't fully aware that I'm actually disabled (bc people like to be like "autism isn't a disability, it's a different ability" as if having a disability is inherently bad). I just hate when people say stuff like that bc it means they have such high expectations for me and I'm basically living to disappoint them.
to be fair, I was kinda out of the loop when I entered college. but from going to college for 4 years I learned that I have to be stern in setting boundaries for myself. I pushed myself despite my limitations/needs and it led to me having extreme burnout and terrible dysthymia. working full time is basically the same deal and I really don't want to feel that way again. I think I can handle working part time, but full time is a no go from me.
I think I wish that when I tell people "I can't work full time" that they would just take my word for it. I know my limits better than anyone else, and I'm definitely not saying that bc "I'm too lazy to work". I legitimately just can't work full time. it would destroy my mental health and, in turn, my physical health as well. I really just need people to believe me and know I'm not making excuses.
tl;dr ableism sucks
