What's Bothering You?

[Romaki]

My depression.

I'm literally just now realising I didn't take my meds today.......................

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

For some reason Google Photos isn't working for me, I guess my tablet is finally starting to wear down. It takes forever to delete, restore, move, or download images now. What the heck happened, anyway?
Right now I'm just irritable and generally in a bad mood.

 

[VanitasFan26]

Why can't (some) people be kind to one another? Why is it so hard for some people to do this?!?
I hate Twitter...

Twitter is the one website that I wish was never made. Hence the reason why Cancel Culture happens too often.

 

[-Blue-]

Why can't (some) people be kind to one another? Why is it so hard for some people to do this?!?
I hate Twitter...

Because it's Twitter. There's a reason why when Tumblr had its mass-exodus purge that all its delinquents ran to Twitter and ruined the place. It's also the reason those meme pics circulate so much. Knowing my luck I will get in trouble for posting it, but it goes something like.

'You can post a well articulated sentence about how you love pancakes and someone will misinterpret it and assume you hate waffles. No that's another whole sentence, where are you getting that?"

And it's sad how true this is with Twitter. I've seen this happen so many times, it just turns me off from using the place even though some of my friends refuse to communicate anywhere else. For real, these people need some sense slapped in them. Are they looking for drama? Want to feel like they're making a better difference? Desperately want to oppose someone? Or are they just that stupid?

 

[daringred_]

having the worst day in the world right now, haha. have a super stressful week coming up, and my girlfriend promises she'll be here to help. she over sleeps and misses her train despite apparently setting alarms. she then decides to wait several hours to catch an afternoon train. then apparently all the afternoon trains are coaches and she doesn't want to sit on one for four hours even though I find out now they were only one hour of the entire journey so she could've literally been here Right Now. then she misses her 7pm train and because she decided not to charge her phone for some stupid reason, she's missed me telling her she can still catch a coach to X and then a train to here. it's a joke. i'm so tired. she stressed me out all day with this nonsense and now i've got to stress about going to my appointment tomorrow alone.

 

[-Blue-]

@daringred_

Spoiler

I recall you making a similar post about this a few months ago. So this isn't the first time this has happened. Now I really don't want to upset you, but it definitely feels like your girlfriend doesn't respect you. And that's something you should really consider. The person you're going to call your girlfriend/partner/ect should not have you feeling this way every time. Especially with a prior commitment that they can't keep to. You even said you really needed her there for support and she could not even do that. It's not even like the excuses are acceptable ones like there was a family emergency, trains were shut down, something bad happened. It was just that she didn't want to inconvenience herself with a longer ride?

I had what I once thought was an amazing friend, only to find out I only got so close to them because it was during a very trying and terrible time for me. Every time we were about to do something they would cancel, just completely ghost me, and or I'd find that they were doing something entirely different with other groups. I helped and listened to them all the time, but when it was their turn, they ran for the hills.

 

[Alienfish]

Twitter is the one website that I wish was never made. Hence the reason why Cancel Culture happens too often.

Yeah, cancel culture shouldn't even happen. I don't see why people think they are free to judge others unless it has been on trial in court and said person has received a proper sentence. Also celebs are real people too, they don't deserve random tweens and teens on social media and actual media taking after that-hate.

 

[daringred_]

@daringred_

Spoiler

I recall you making a similar post about this a few months ago. So this isn't the first time this has happened. Now I really don't want to upset you, but it definitely feels like your girlfriend doesn't respect you. And that's something you should really consider. The person you're going to call your girlfriend/partner/ect should not have you feeling this way every time. Especially with a prior commitment that they can't keep to. You even said you really needed her there for support and she could not even do that. It's not even like the excuses are acceptable ones like there was a family emergency, trains were shut down, something bad happened. It was just that she didn't want to inconvenience herself with a longer ride?

I had what I once thought was an amazing friend, only to find out I only got so close to them because it was during a very trying and terrible time for me. Every time we were about to do something they would cancel, just completely ghost me, and or I'd find that they were doing something entirely different with other groups. I helped and listened to them all the time, but when it was their turn, they ran for the hills.

idk, i can't tell anymore. they're all reasonable excuses -- sleeping through an alarm, a late bus -- and the trains really were being partly replaced with coach journeys because i checked, and there was a "route part bus" note under most of them because it's a bank holiday and there are strikes or something. it does kind of annoy me that she wasn't willing to take a four hour coach journey just because there's no breaks and no bathroom though. like, she hasn't seen me in almost two years now, but reuniting isn't worth just those four hours. (although it doesn't seem as though it was ever four hours; just 90 minutes.) idk because i don't know how willing i would've been to do it if the roles were reversed. but then there are things like not charging her phone and not having the presence of mind to catch an earlier bus, so i don't know. she's claiming she'll come first thing in the morning, but the earliest train she seems willing to take won't give her enough time to get to my house before i have to leave for my appointment, so. who knows.

 

[-Blue-]

@daringred_

Spoiler

I mean all excuses seem reasonable to an extent. No one is going to come up with the most insane excuse ever like aliens were invading. Then no one would believe them. It's been two years. I get it, a lot has happened in those two years, but if she were serious about the relationship, I'd imagine she would make the effort to meet halfway in one of those 730 days.

For example you say the earliest ride she is willing to do is after or close to when you will be gone. I hate being so jaded and I go automatically to things like that because I've been burned so much I learn to read into people's ways. Why can't she come earlier? To me it sounds like she is already setting it up as an excuse. Even the bank holiday seems like a good excuse if she were the one that suggested this meetup.

Like I wish you the best and that she makes it to you tomorrow. I'd be really happy for you if she did commit. But if she does not you really need to step back and assess this Daring. I'm not saying this to be a jerk or claim to be a love expert or anything, but your mental health is important. If the both of you talk to each other a lot online, that is good, but if you want more and she can't commit you probably should be considering that to.

 

[tessa grace]

deleted lol

 

[Shawna]

I only slept 3 hours because I can’t sleep when I’m not at home. Now I’m tired.

I am the same way .-.

I do not sleep very well away from home, luckily the last time it happened was in 2019, but my dad is planning a trip with my mother in Houston later this year.

 

[xSuperMario64x]

Spoiler: this turned into a rant shoot

my dad did that thing again earlier where he's basically like "hey look what these people are doing why don't you do that" or "why don't you perform anymore?" and I'm right back to feeling useless and pathetic. earlier my mom said I needed to stop comparing myself to others and my immediate response was "I don't have to compare myself to others, dad does that for me already." like I know he cares abt me and wants the best for me, but he's only happy when I'm doing what he wants me to do, not what I want to do.

(oh and also, he brought up a "stage name" which he came up for me like 10 years ago which, by the way, uses part of my deadname, and he suggested I still use it. like how insensitive can someone be? he really has absolutely no respect for me, his own child, bc he still wants me to be cisgender and he wants to just absolutely ****ing ignore who I am now and embrace the old me :,,,,,D)

I'm a pretty decent artist, ya know? lots of people have complimented my most recent art pieces and I'm actually really proud of them myself. but how many times do you think my dad has said "hey you should do freelance art/illustrations for books/etc"? none. instead he keeps telling me I should join a band and find small gigs to play at. I don't want to do any of that stuff. he has no clue what I enjoy doing anymore. I'm not the exact same person I was 10 years ago. I know a lot of my interests are the same but my priorities are much different now.

my music tastes are also vastly different than his and a lot of what he thinks is "cool" I usually think is dumb, I mean good for him if he enjoys it but I'm not gonna play stuff like that. I don't want to do something I don't enjoy just to get people to like me. I've literally never, ever been that kind of person and I never will be. I like what I like, and if others like it too then great! if not then oh well! I don't want to spend my life trying to be someone I'm not, or pretending I like something I actually dislike/hate, in order to please others. I would rather be broke and happy than be rich and miserable.

if he's gonna keep telling me what to do like I'm a damn child then he needs to just stop talking to me. I literally went through 4 years of college, away from home, and he still doesn't think that I'm able to make choices for myself.


but now I feel kinda useless because there are things that I could be doing to get myself going a bit and yet I don't do them. I have a youtube channel where I play games and do voice-overs, but I've only recorded one video and that was like 3 months ago, and I've had no motivation to do any more for whatever reason. I could be practicing piano pieces and trying to impress the symphony people to hopefully convince them to let me play w them, but nope, I haven't practiced much at all since I graduated. heck, I could be taking freelance art commissions. but I'm not doing any of that stuff, because I'm still recovering from depression. my dad can't wrap his closed mind around that though, he's acting like he thinks "hey you seem to be doing better so why don't you jump right back into everything" even though that's quite literally impossible for me after being ill for so many years. recovery is a long process, and idk how long it'll take me to recuperate, if ever tbh. but I'm so used to people just not giving a **** at all about my mental health (or anyone else's for that matter), so they can never truly understand why I am where I am today, bc my mental health plays a huge role in that.

whatever, I need to stop thinking about it. I'm actually really content with where I am right now. I'm rediscovering all my interests (which got left behind once my depression really started), I'm working at my own pace, I have my mom and friends who care about me and are empathetic, I'm actually starting to genuinely enjoy doing things again (after being depresssed/miserable since 2016), and I don't have any long-term goals, just a bunch of short-term goals to nudge my healing body/mind in the right direction. I really am trying my best and I just wish that my dad would acknowledge that.

also mad bc I feel like my college years were wasted bc I was depressed the whole time

 

[moonbyu]

Spoiler: feeling hella quirked up

me when my parents are extremely homophobic and i realize i have to stay closeted for my own safety
also i hate twitter and tiktok. actually i just hate every social media outlet

 

[DarkDesertFox]

Bad toothache has been bothering me all weekend. Just got my dermatologist appointments over with which felt great but now I bet I have to make 2 separate dentist appointments since I am positive it's a cavity which will need filled.

 

[deana]

What was covering 1 day for my sick coworkers is now turning in to covering a 4th day and I'm just so over it We can't even borrow people from another store because they are short staffed too, I got a call from them asking if I wanted extra hours over there but I am already working a million hours at my own store

 

[-Lumi-]

Oh I do not feel good
Yuck
Iron pills do ur job already

 

[Neb]

I hate how my brain overanalyzes everything that happens to me. My meds keep my mood relatively stable, but sometimes I overanalyze things that mean nothing.

 

[ali.di.magix]

I did a lot of walking today and now my whole body is sore lol. It's amazing how much strain having an injured leg puts on the rest of your body.

 

[-Mars-]

---

 

[Croconaw]

Damn my friend has had it ****ing rough. She poured her heart out to me a few weeks ago and I think she’s starting to trust me more because she’s getting real deep in her personal life. I thought I had it bad just getting bullied in school. I feel really bad. Her mom made it worse last night by asking her why she’s wearing a certain shirt because it makes her look fat. She didn’t eat at all yesterday except for one meal she made at work, but she took, like, two bites and gave me the leftovers. I said “please tell me that’s not the only thing you ate last night” when I saw her, and yep… It was. She just dropped out of high school at 19 and she’s been to nine different schools due to expulsions, suspensions, etcetera. Her boyfriend is forcing her to go to a prom I know damn well she doesn’t want to go to. You can hear it in her voice. Also, I’m the person she wants comforting her and she’s crying in my arms after her panic attacks, if they do happen. I have no damn clue.

To top it off, my favorite person told me “she just likes to cause drama and I shouldn’t trust her.” I’m not sure if it’s jealousy or what, but I’m super certain my favorite person isn’t into dating right now.